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How Are You Feeling Right Now?
- Thread starter UNREGISTERED0000
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Tired. Like really tired. So tired I typed this last night then went to bed without actually posting it and it was still here when I came back, but it still applies. I've had a rough year in all kinds of ways, physical injuries recently, I haven't been able to exercise like normal for nearly a month, my social life is related to my exercise so have lost that as well, and have been working relentlessly all year, in fact for almost a year now, to keep on top of things. It's probably no wonder I take 3 days off and then just crash when I try to start again. At least I've got a light week I'm going to try to just meet my existing obligations and take it easy otherwise. Got my eye test then a meeting at the office today, just need to get through that.
Thanks for your warm message. No need to offer any advice, i find your posts helpful. It seems we are experiencing some similar emotions to our own relationship situations.
I dont know why some people seem less bonded and able to let go. I currently have a firm grasp and am not wanting to let go.
I come up with reasons, like 'we have been in one form of relationship or another for 27 years', 'its my first and only relationship'.
I say these things like if it wasnt my first only relationship and maybe a short relationship, id be able to let go.
I dont think this is true, well not the full truth anyway, the fact is i deeply love them and feel so bonded and deeply connected to them, be that healthy or unhealthy, that now it feels like i have a body part missing.
I hope your doing okay at the moment, I know your hurting too.
I dont know why some people seem less bonded and able to let go. I currently have a firm grasp and am not wanting to let go.
I come up with reasons, like 'we have been in one form of relationship or another for 27 years', 'its my first and only relationship'.
I say these things like if it wasnt my first only relationship and maybe a short relationship, id be able to let go.
I dont think this is true, well not the full truth anyway, the fact is i deeply love them and feel so bonded and deeply connected to them, be that healthy or unhealthy, that now it feels like i have a body part missing.
I hope your doing okay at the moment, I know your hurting too.
Thanks ❤️ Yeah I'd thought of that but at the moment I think I'd find it a bit weird doing that. They have a walking group but they always seem like the odd one out as usually one person turns up and someone has to give up their run to accompany the walker... I'll think about it, but don't have the energy at the moment so will just try to get through today in one piece. I hope your mouse infestation is showing signs of abatement!
I feel less anxious today.
I'll take that as meaning I'm doing better. After the f-ing bout of covid went away, I've slowly re-started my workouts.
@Inastorm Laely Yes, I have felt thrown around, mostly down, really unpleasant, passionalte emotion. But, at the same time there is a growing awareness, despite the sadness and loneliness. I accept that he's a permanent addition to the architecture of my brain. It used to have a sign of it of 'love,' but not anymore, and I'm not able to remodel. I still have control over the other parts of me. I can run, do strength workouts, paint and occasionally sell my work, and some other things in planning stages.
I'll take that as meaning I'm doing better. After the f-ing bout of covid went away, I've slowly re-started my workouts.
@Inastorm Laely Yes, I have felt thrown around, mostly down, really unpleasant, passionalte emotion. But, at the same time there is a growing awareness, despite the sadness and loneliness. I accept that he's a permanent addition to the architecture of my brain. It used to have a sign of it of 'love,' but not anymore, and I'm not able to remodel. I still have control over the other parts of me. I can run, do strength workouts, paint and occasionally sell my work, and some other things in planning stages.
Quite unwell. I nearly had a full blown panic attack in my meeting this afteroon. I wasn't feeling 100 per cent to start with but after 2 minutes I started getting a feeling of "I'm never going to make it through this, I'm too tired". Then I had a weird sensation in my arm and a rush of anxiety which started an internal monologue about whether I should cancel the meeting and call an ambulance. I didn't because I know how my anxiety works and it's happened before, and I got through the meeting then got a train and walked home. I tried to buy an air fryer online but I'd missed the delivery window. So I might go to the chip shop after because I sure as hell cant be bothered cooking. I just feel exhausted and anxious about being exhausted because stopping working being a self-employed person is just not an option. There's no safety net. The pressure is terrifying.
That's not nice at all. In respect to saving your energy at the moment, as your describing a heart attack and heading off to the chip shop, have you thought about ordering (tesco delivery or something) a load of ready meals for the freezer, some healthy ones. Just to see you through this bad patch, while you have no energy.
Occasionally do this. I've become bored with potatoes and pasta lately. But some days I just want to treat myself and haven't had chippy for a while. I am probably very unlikely to have a heart attack, I know this, my blood pressure and other readings are optimal and I know I have no congenital abnormalities due to having scans in the past, but then by body sends out weird signals and I think of a colleague who died about this time a year ago, who was 3 years younger than me, that might actually be partly a trigger for my anxiety 🤔
