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How Are You Feeling Right Now?

Something thats upsetting me is i had some contact via email, was nice, giving me some information. Initally the contact was whatsapp, but the 'hello' was then deleted. Still i saw this as positive sign, as they had changed their phone number before. I didnt reply to the whatsapp message but did to the email. However, a few days after the whatsapp message, their profile picture disappeared, so i may have been blocked, not sure, anyway felt really bad. Im trying to keep in mind that, im sure that when ive sent them emails, it might upset them. So we are both probably hurting for different reasons.
 

Lane

SF Pro
SF Supporter
A bit shit to be honest. Work has been stressful on top my health concerns and general fatigue. I got told off for doing something today, went through a load of fretting, explained why I'd done what I did - and after all that was told to continue doing exactly as I had been doing. Complete comms breakdown, also people emailing to request meetings then ghosting me when I reply with options. And it's too warm and I'm just knackered.
Life can be so hard Avid. I hope things calm down at work for you and you feel better soon.
 

Lane

SF Pro
SF Supporter
Something thats upsetting me is i had some contact via email, was nice, giving me some information. Initally the contact was whatsapp, but the 'hello' was then deleted. Still i saw this as positive sign, as they had changed their phone number before. I didnt reply to the whatsapp message but did to the email. However, a few days after the whatsapp message, their profile picture disappeared, so i may have been blocked, not sure, anyway felt really bad. Im trying to keep in mind that, im sure that when ive sent them emails, it might upset them. So we are both probably hurting for different reasons.
You are doing the best you can in this situation @Inastorm. I hope that the situation improves with the least amount of worry for you. *console
 

SillyOldBear

Teddy Bears Rule! 🐻
Staff Alumni
I just need to vent I'm seperated from my wife 3.5 months now and it has gotten a bit better but it's so so hard. I feel like I'll never get over this. And the ambivalence wondering if I have made the right decision but i think in my gut it's what needs to happen.

I feel so alone she was my best friend but it was too chaotic and I'm a weird non talkative sensitive person it will be hard to find someone again. While i have a couple good friends I've always felt like an outsider almost everywhere i go and i miss having a deep connection with someone. That damn ambivalence again. Feels like I'll be wondering forever. I need to get over this somehow. Exercise has helped to get out of the house it's so depressing being alone here. It's so hard to get my responsibilities done.
I am so sorry things have not worked out for you in this marriage. I sometimes think marriage between people in different countries is just so difficult. I hope you will recover soon and that the pain of loss will lessen.
 
Tired and pissed off. Could barely sleep with the heat (it's going to be 29C today - nothing compared to some places but I am British and not one of the British who loves going to Spain as I would likely die on the Costa del Sol within minutes!). At 7am some infernal truck parked outside my window and started jiggling a pair of cherry pickers about and clanking chains. A couple of guys all over it. I have no idea what they were doing, they finished up and it drove off again. Noise was so loud it cut through my white noise which is on VERY loud. Universe seems to be in fuck with me to keep me on edge mode lately, well for most of the last 12 months actually, if not the last 5 years 🤷‍♂️
How was the rest of your day?
 

AvidFan

Retired Cat Staff
SF Supporter
How was the rest of your day?
Wasn't great. Decided to get the bus instead of train as I didn't fancy half hour walk in the heat (I'd usually much prefer train and walk at 4pm on a Friday as the bus moves like a snail). Bus ended up moving about 2 meters every 5 minutes and hip was cramping so I got off and walked anyway. 40 minutes later I reached my town and the bus passed me 5 minutes before that 😲 at least I exercised my legs but by this point was too late to even consider my running group so missed it again. So I did shopping and a couple hours remote work. Then chilled as much as possible in the heat - I hate this "lovely" weather lol. Bet you're glad you asked 😂 but thank you for asking 😊
 
I feel like shit. I've almost always been the one to get dumped by a man. I did the dumping. I didn't know I'd feel this awful about it. No reply, like I wish you well too. Guess he's upset. I'm too old, I told him the truth, I didn't mean to hurt his feelings. He kept saying he wanted someone that lives close to him. Well that doesn't mean I'm right for you. I like the guy, I told him so, I said you deserve someone healthy without all these problems with my back and I don't know yet about my lump.

You'd think if he cared he could just say ''well i wish you well too''... I'm an idiot. But if that guy never gets what he wants then stringing someone along to see how things work out isn't right anyways. I seriously think I'll be alone for the rest of my life and I don't mind the idea of it. Still trying to get my younger to fly the nest and I'm 57. i just want peace. I want my health back too. I'm not going to the hospital, it's always the same. They see me as a mental health patient. THat doctor didn't even do an ultrasound on my gallbladder, they jsut looked at my liver. I said my doc said a long time ago that I have a fatty liver, all he said was, yeah, I'm concerned about that too. Well I have pain everywhere and I'd rather die than be humiliated by waiting over 7 hours to have that doctor not even want to touch me. Sorry I vented.
 
I’ve had two pretty bad emotional outbursts this week where I get so angry and screamy and I feel like throwing everything in my way. The first was because of a fight my mom and I had because I asked her to do a favour for my dad (they’re divorced and I wouldn’t have asked if anyone else could have helped… it was something to do with their joint bank account). My mom was so mad but I didn’t know what else I could do to help my dad. The second was over my hair. My hair has been awful all week and I was getting ready to go out but I couldn’t get my hair to look decent and I felt so ugly and I felt like curling up in a ball in my room away from everyone else because everyone else I know is so perfect to me that I feel so low.

I feel like I’ve lost all control over my life and like I’ve lost all control over myself. I wish that the people in my life knew how tough things were for me. I can’t tell them the main problem, because it’s so personal and I doubt that they would react well. I feel so unseen by everyone. I’m genuinely trying so hard to stay calm and stoic, but I feel like I’m at my breaking point. I feel like I’m breaking down piece by piece every passing day. I can’t go on like this but I don’t know what else to do.

I feel so lost in life. I don’t really have anything. I feel like my family just resents me. I don’t have any friends. I don’t have any skills, talents, hobbies or passions. I’m just a worthless human being and no one wants me around.
 

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