Something thats upsetting me is i had some contact via email, was nice, giving me some information. Initally the contact was whatsapp, but the 'hello' was then deleted. Still i saw this as positive sign, as they had changed their phone number before. I didnt reply to the whatsapp message but did to the email. However, a few days after the whatsapp message, their profile picture disappeared, so i may have been blocked, not sure, anyway felt really bad. Im trying to keep in mind that, im sure that when ive sent them emails, it might upset them. So we are both probably hurting for different reasons.
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How Are You Feeling Right Now?
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Wasn't great. Decided to get the bus instead of train as I didn't fancy half hour walk in the heat (I'd usually much prefer train and walk at 4pm on a Friday as the bus moves like a snail). Bus ended up moving about 2 meters every 5 minutes and hip was cramping so I got off and walked anyway. 40 minutes later I reached my town and the bus passed me 5 minutes before that 😲 at least I exercised my legs but by this point was too late to even consider my running group so missed it again. So I did shopping and a couple hours remote work. Then chilled as much as possible in the heat - I hate this "lovely" weather lol. Bet you're glad you asked 😂 but thank you for asking 😊
I feel like shit. I've almost always been the one to get dumped by a man. I did the dumping. I didn't know I'd feel this awful about it. No reply, like I wish you well too. Guess he's upset. I'm too old, I told him the truth, I didn't mean to hurt his feelings. He kept saying he wanted someone that lives close to him. Well that doesn't mean I'm right for you. I like the guy, I told him so, I said you deserve someone healthy without all these problems with my back and I don't know yet about my lump.
You'd think if he cared he could just say ''well i wish you well too''... I'm an idiot. But if that guy never gets what he wants then stringing someone along to see how things work out isn't right anyways. I seriously think I'll be alone for the rest of my life and I don't mind the idea of it. Still trying to get my younger to fly the nest and I'm 57. i just want peace. I want my health back too. I'm not going to the hospital, it's always the same. They see me as a mental health patient. THat doctor didn't even do an ultrasound on my gallbladder, they jsut looked at my liver. I said my doc said a long time ago that I have a fatty liver, all he said was, yeah, I'm concerned about that too. Well I have pain everywhere and I'd rather die than be humiliated by waiting over 7 hours to have that doctor not even want to touch me. Sorry I vented.
You'd think if he cared he could just say ''well i wish you well too''... I'm an idiot. But if that guy never gets what he wants then stringing someone along to see how things work out isn't right anyways. I seriously think I'll be alone for the rest of my life and I don't mind the idea of it. Still trying to get my younger to fly the nest and I'm 57. i just want peace. I want my health back too. I'm not going to the hospital, it's always the same. They see me as a mental health patient. THat doctor didn't even do an ultrasound on my gallbladder, they jsut looked at my liver. I said my doc said a long time ago that I have a fatty liver, all he said was, yeah, I'm concerned about that too. Well I have pain everywhere and I'd rather die than be humiliated by waiting over 7 hours to have that doctor not even want to touch me. Sorry I vented.
I’ve had two pretty bad emotional outbursts this week where I get so angry and screamy and I feel like throwing everything in my way. The first was because of a fight my mom and I had because I asked her to do a favour for my dad (they’re divorced and I wouldn’t have asked if anyone else could have helped… it was something to do with their joint bank account). My mom was so mad but I didn’t know what else I could do to help my dad. The second was over my hair. My hair has been awful all week and I was getting ready to go out but I couldn’t get my hair to look decent and I felt so ugly and I felt like curling up in a ball in my room away from everyone else because everyone else I know is so perfect to me that I feel so low.
I feel like I’ve lost all control over my life and like I’ve lost all control over myself. I wish that the people in my life knew how tough things were for me. I can’t tell them the main problem, because it’s so personal and I doubt that they would react well. I feel so unseen by everyone. I’m genuinely trying so hard to stay calm and stoic, but I feel like I’m at my breaking point. I feel like I’m breaking down piece by piece every passing day. I can’t go on like this but I don’t know what else to do.
I feel so lost in life. I don’t really have anything. I feel like my family just resents me. I don’t have any friends. I don’t have any skills, talents, hobbies or passions. I’m just a worthless human being and no one wants me around.
I feel like I’ve lost all control over my life and like I’ve lost all control over myself. I wish that the people in my life knew how tough things were for me. I can’t tell them the main problem, because it’s so personal and I doubt that they would react well. I feel so unseen by everyone. I’m genuinely trying so hard to stay calm and stoic, but I feel like I’m at my breaking point. I feel like I’m breaking down piece by piece every passing day. I can’t go on like this but I don’t know what else to do.
I feel so lost in life. I don’t really have anything. I feel like my family just resents me. I don’t have any friends. I don’t have any skills, talents, hobbies or passions. I’m just a worthless human being and no one wants me around.
