How Are You Feeling Right Now?

[Inastorm]

i just want a hug. somebody to tell me that I'm enough. somebody to actually love me.

Sorry your feeling like that, its an awful situation to be in. I dont know what else to say, i know how that feels, well for me anyway.
I hope things get better for you.

 

[Inastorm]

I feel like im in a production of 'my life' and ive come out on stage and everyone has gone home, no lights on, no stage hands around.

Its like, why should i put on a show and carry on if no one's here?

It seems that the theatre is closed....

 

[AvidFan]

I feel like im in a production of 'my life' and ive come out on stage and everyone has gone home, no lights on, no stage hands around.

Its like, why should i put on a show and carry on if no one's here?

It seems that the theatre is closed....

Sounds bleak 😢 Maybe there are people in the wings (even if it's only a few extras) or at the back of the darkened auditorium.

 

[AvidFan]

I'm doing fantastic today compared to how I have been for the last month. Clearer head, more energy, calmer - despite waking up at 4.30am again. Maybe I only require the 3 hours of sleep? It may well be helping getting into TV shows in the evening and weekends, getting lost in something else other than my own chaos. Or maybe it's just the phases of the moon..... But definitely feeling something shifting a little lately.

 

[chiastic_slide]

Just stuck waiting for a delivery that’s running late. Feels like a completely wasted day.

 

[Rocky Point]

After another shitty night and about 3 hours sleep. Effing awesome.....not.

 

[silver-watercolors]

I'm still pretty depressed, but it's not totally suffocating the way it was last week. I talked with my therapist and she said that I'd be admissible for inpatient if I wanted to be there, but that she didn't think inpatient would help me based on what I was saying. She did give me the info of a place I could reach out to, so I might, although from their website they seem to mostly do intensive outpatient stuff. I don't have insurance right now though since i graduated recently, and I'm scared to bring the possibility of intensive outpatient up with my parents even though it probably would help. I don't want them to worry about me but I guess it's unavoidable.

 

[FlamingoWrangler]

I feel pretty thankful. Years ago I was suffering from depression and found SF. People here gave me a lot of supprot and really become a light in the darkness. Now I'm free from depression. I checked my browser history to get the link of SF and gladly found that the forum is still alive.
So now I'm really thankful to SF and members here. Without you, I may not see the light again in the end.

It’s always reassuring to hear that someone was able to make needed changes. This is a helpful, reassuring community.

Stay well!

 

[AvidFan]

Wondered when today would test my patience. I finished work feeling fine, felt relaxed on the bus. I got on the bus that goes half way to my suburb - the plan was to then get off and jump on the bus that goes all the way to my house, but half way out it's quieter on the bus. There is a bus every 20 minutes or so usually at that time. First half went perfectly - quiet bus, got off, then checked the live tracker. 40 minutes to next bus? WTF. I could have stayed on the other bus and walked for half an hour and been home. I thought it was maybe an error - but it wasn't. 40 minutes later 2 buses turned up. One that goes to my town, the other that stops right outside my house. I got on the one that stops outside my house. Was still fairly sanguine by this point. The bus broke down 2 stops later and I ended up walking 30 minutes to my house. To be honest I could have run the fucking 6 miles quicker than it took these buses. I also had the joy of a friendly Chinese companion who got off and walked with me. Really nice guy but I couldn't make out a word of what he was saying as his English wasn't great and kept getting drowned out by cars..... Slammed food in the microwave and put a show on. Looks like taxi season will come early (buses turn to absolute dogshit in run up to Christmas.

Trying to reclaim my evening now. At least I got my steps in, but no cat joys today).

 

[FlamingoWrangler]

i just want a hug. somebody to tell me that I'm enough. somebody to actually love me.

I wish virtual hugs were more reassuring. Sending a big 🤗 hug. I know that you are enough. Keep looking for peace and joy. perhaps the love will follow.
PS- have you considered a stuffie? Build-a-bear? Stuffed animal? They can be an amazing comfort.

 

[FlamingoWrangler]

A little out of sorts. Got up at 5 but not going in until 9. (Used to be at work at 7). Little work left to do. I'm wondering what next week would be like when I don't have a place to go to. Haven't been unemployed for over a decade. I look forward to sleeping in but not without plans for each day. Guess I'll find out.

One co-worker wanted to have a send-off party for me but I pointed out that everyone else has left the company. So I told him no. But it would have been nice.

I hope you can find some peace & fun as you retire. Maybe donuts or cake for your last day?

 

[FlamingoWrangler]

After another shitty night and about 3 hours sleep. Effing awesome.....not.

everything is twice as hard without sleep. I hope tonight you get rest. 💤

 

[FlamingoWrangler]

I'm still pretty depressed, but it's not totally suffocating the way it was last week. I talked with my therapist and she said that I'd be admissible for inpatient if I wanted to be there, but that she didn't think inpatient would help me based on what I was saying. She did give me the info of a place I could reach out to, so I might, although from their website they seem to mostly do intensive outpatient stuff. I don't have insurance right now though since i graduated recently, and I'm scared to bring the possibility of intensive outpatient up with my parents even though it probably would help. I don't want them to worry about me but I guess it's unavoidable.

I hope you can find a way to get the treatment you need. There are options available. You deserve the opportunity to get the help you need. Keep us posted.

 

[Lane]

Been thinking of my daughter and what she'll dress her baby up as for Halloween. She seems like a distant memory but I still love her so much. Its not healthy to believe that this is my punishment. I feel like she hates me or definitely shuts my past choices. I wish my daughter wasn't lost to me,my heart feels heavy and tears fill my eyes still after all these years.

 

[FlamingoWrangler]

Wondered when today would test my patience. I finished work feeling fine, felt relaxed on the bus. I got on the bus that goes half way to my suburb - the plan was to then get off and jump on the bus that goes all the way to my house, but half way out it's quieter on the bus. There is a bus every 20 minutes or so usually at that time. First half went perfectly - quiet bus, got off, then checked the live tracker. 40 minutes to next bus? WTF. I could have stayed on the other bus and walked for half an hour and been home. I thought it was maybe an error - but it wasn't. 40 minutes later 2 buses turned up. One that goes to my town, the other that stops right outside my house. I got on the one that stops outside my house. Was still fairly sanguine by this point. The bus broke down 2 stops later and I ended up walking 30 minutes to my house. To be honest I could have run the fucking 6 miles quicker than it took these buses. I also had the joy of a friendly Chinese companion who got off and walked with me. Really nice guy but I couldn't make out a word of what he was saying as his English wasn't great and kept getting drowned out by cars..... Slammed food in the microwave and put a show on. Looks like taxi season will come early (buses turn to absolute dogshit in run up to Christmas.

Trying to reclaim my evening now. At least I got my steps in, but no cat joys today).

that sounds absolutely miserable. i have very little experience with public transit. it’s always interesting to me.
now go take back your evening!

 

[FlamingoWrangler]

Been thinking of my daughter and what she'll dress her baby up as for Halloween. She seems like a distant memory but I still love her so much. Its not healthy to believe that this is my punishment. I feel like she hates me or definitely shuts my past choices. I wish my daughter wasn't lost to me,my heart feels heavy and tears fill my eyes still after all these years.

I am sorry you don’t have contact with her. I hope you can find a way to communicate.

 

[FlamingoWrangler]

I'm doing fantastic today compared to how I have been for the last month. Clearer head, more energy, calmer - despite waking up at 4.30am again. Maybe I only require the 3 hours of sleep? It may well be helping getting into TV shows in the evening and weekends, getting lost in something else other than my own chaos. Or maybe it's just the phases of the moon..... But definitely feeling something shifting a little lately.

that’s awesome!

 

[KM76710]

i just want a hug. somebody to tell me that I'm enough. somebody to actually love me.

You are enough, good enough and you deserve to be loved and have caring people around that can show you so in person. I wish we could be more here for you and others but you are one of us here online on this forum and deserving of plenty of

 

[AvidFan]

i just want a hug. somebody to tell me that I'm enough. somebody to actually love me.

 

[KM76710]

Chilly, but it has finally cooled down enough to turn on the heat and not supposed to really warm up much in the near future. At last it feels like Fall.