How Are You Feeling Right Now?

[LumberJack]

I was feeling okay this morning, but I just ran out of fuel entirely. Going to get my mail-order meds from the mailbox and have a nap. I feel like I could just collapse at any second.

 

[JanisSPK]

Yeah, I hadn't realized how bad it could be. I had always had providers with a good professional ethic and I felt well cared for.

The downside is that I got spoiled, and when I ran into crappy providers I was rudely awakened. Yuck! I thought they were called helping professions because the people who go into the field are compassionate and have internal values that guide them toward a career where they help others. Yeah - not so much. There are a lot of nurses that should not be nurses. There are providers who are profiteering and so charge for Lexus-level care and give the patient 1998 Corolla level care in order to pocket the difference. That sickens me, literally and figuratively!

That’s partly why I retired as a corporation level nurse. You have described things well and I’m very sorry you had some poor uncaring experiences that caused suffering at any level for you. It’s hit and miss these days and more miss than hit. I’m still so glad you got competent care this week!

 

[Windhover]

Not too much one way or the other, so that's good. I got a lot done and everything cleaned up and put away. I'm not going to think about the people I miss, not today anyhow. The house smells really good because I made some Thanksgiving food ahead of tomorrow: roasted yams for the casserole, sage & shallot stuffing, cranberry sauce, and turned dry brined turkey, all of which is going to be good.

 

[LumberJack]

I’m feeling loads better. Today was week three of a 4 week online course about basic needs for people with ADHD. The huge ah-hah takeaway is that we are more likely than most to give up on routines, especially with exercise. We need to have a different approach than normies to work with that. Part of this is that we need to put a range around our targets for activity. So, for exercise, my minimum goal is 2 days a week of any amount of movement, even if only 5-10 toe touches. My ideal would be to get moderate exercise (50-70% max heart rate) for 80 minutes total in a week, e.g., 4 workouts 20 minutes at a time.

I can generalize that to other areas, such as household chores. I swept and mopped my bathroom floor. Although I am embarrassed by the way the shower/tub looks, I don’t have to count it as a failure because I didn’t manage a complete deep clean of every surface including behind the toilet (which predictably doesn’t get too dirty except for dust bunnies). I feel better because I have had very low capacity this week and it’s a relief to take the view that I at least took out a few trillion bacteria and the room is lemony-fresh, lol!

 

[AmberMarie]

How are you doing?? I missed that you were feeling so bad and in the hospital

i'm still here in the hospital. It's difficult to use my tablet for the forum. i've been undergoing many different tests to chase the problem. Still duno.

 

[Angie]

i'm still here in the hospital. It's difficult to use my tablet for the forum. i've been undergoing many different tests to chase the problem. Still duno.

My thoughts and prayers are with you.

 

[LumberJack]

ok new thought. I have been continuing to pay attention to when I am being gentle with myself and not. The intent being to cut myself some slack. I know better than anyone else that I am doing my goddamned best and making progress.

This said, it's a lot of work to not beat myself up. It's an automatic habit to berate and blame and shame myself all day long.

 

[JanisSPK]

i'm still here in the hospital. It's difficult to use my tablet for the forum. i've been undergoing many different tests to chase the problem. Still duno.

My thoughts are with you. I would really like to know what is happening as much as you would like to share. Even PM if you care to. I know even just having all those tests are tiring in themselves so I hope they are taking good care of you and keeping you comfortable while they figure out what is happening.

 

[Inastorm]

Just generally feeling quite sad, down, depressed, eating too much, lost, like im disappearing, moving far away from her, who i miss but feel betrayed for what they have done, with no responsibility and in a superior cruel manner. That said i wish i could see them. The intensity of the relationship was like taking crack cocaine on a daily bases and now i dont have it at all. I know that elements of it were not good for me, but i desperately want to get it back in my life.
I miss my friend.

 

[AvidFan]

Sorry you are sad and down @Inastorm ☹️

 

[LumberJack]

Just woke up. Already anxious and sad. About 4 hours of sleep. Thoughts of suicide or maybe about suicide. Trying to rationalize I guess. I don’t want to kms. I want to influence a cultural shift in direction from separation and division to unity. I don’t fit here!

 

[Windhover]

I hope that deep sadness dissipates at some point sooner rather than later @Inastorm . I know that when I start feeling it, it is very difficult to get off onto a different mindset. I send good thoughts.

 

[Windhover]

Doing okay today. I'm blocking out all thoughts of anything but what is happening right here. If I have a 'hangover' tomorrow from all the blocked thoughts and feelings, so be it.

 

[AmberMarie]

Discharged today and home!... with strict orders to see 3 specialists and get the 2 things they know are wrong! Taken care of. Most likely have one ovary removed, and see a gastric specialist... again... with follow up on my pancreatic lesions and cysts. Only the latter could cause the pain i have been having. i guess we continue to put band-aids on a bleeding heart till we find the leak.

 

[FlamingoWrangler]

Discharged today and home!... with strict orders to see 3 specialists and get the 2 things they know are wrong! Taken care of. Most likely have one ovary removed, and see a gastric specialist... again... with follow up on my pancreatic lesions and cysts. Only the latter could cause the pain i have been having. i guess we continue to put band-aids on a bleeding heart till we find the leak.

glad you’re discharged and home! Pancreas pain is hugely debilitating. the added ovary issue had to be miserable. I am glad you have help getting relief.

 

[Lane]

While I often feel grateful for my blessings I stupidly go on FB and see pictures of my daughter and baby. I feel like I'm in awe of her then my heart hurts at the same time. Then schockingly, I get mad at her. I hate the Rollercoaster of emotions. I haven't gotten to acceptance yet, as I still text her on holidays and bought her baby books and clothes for Christmas. I don't want to lose hope and for her to think I don't care.

 

[Lane]

Just woke up. Already anxious and sad. About 4 hours of sleep. Thoughts of suicide or maybe about suicide. Trying to rationalize I guess. I don’t want to kms. I want to influence a cultural shift in direction from separation and division to unity. I don’t fit here!

I understand the feeling of not fitting or belonging in this world. At one point I didn't even feel worthy of tasting food, I know that sounds weird. But, please dont give up @LumberJack. You are an important person, here and in the world, although it may not feel like it.

 

[Lane]

Just generally feeling quite sad, down, depressed, eating too much, lost, like im disappearing, moving far away from her, who i miss but feel betrayed for what they have done, with no responsibility and in a superior cruel manner. That said i wish i could see them. The intensity of the relationship was like taking crack cocaine on a daily bases and now i dont have it at all. I know that elements of it were not good for me, but i desperately want to get it back in my life.
I miss my friend.

Its just mean for someone to abandon someone. Again, sorry this happened to you @Inastorm.

 

[Lane]

I’m feeling loads better. Today was week three of a 4 week online course about basic needs for people with ADHD. The huge ah-hah takeaway is that we are more likely than most to give up on routines, especially with exercise. We need to have a different approach than normies to work with that. Part of this is that we need to put a range around our targets for activity. So, for exercise, my minimum goal is 2 days a week of any amount of movement, even if only 5-10 toe touches. My ideal would be to get moderate exercise (50-70% max heart rate) for 80 minutes total in a week, e.g., 4 workouts 20 minutes at a time.

I can generalize that to other areas, such as household chores. I swept and mopped my bathroom floor. Although I am embarrassed by the way the shower/tub looks, I don’t have to count it as a failure because I didn’t manage a complete deep clean of every surface including behind the toilet (which predictably doesn’t get too dirty except for dust bunnies). I feel better because I have had very low capacity this week and it’s a relief to take the view that I at least took out a few trillion bacteria and the room is lemony-fresh, lol!

@LumberJack, do you have the link for this course? I'd like to give it to my fiance.

 

[LumberJack]

@LumberJack, do you have the link for this course? I'd like to give it to my fiance.

It’s a real-time course and there’s only the last session remaining, so I think it would be difficult to start now. I can keep an eye out for any others that I see. I found it by following an ADHD coach on facebook. I liked her because she had these short videos (“reels”?) where she talked about the challenges facing ADHD adults.