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How Are You Feeling Right Now?

LumberJack

Huggy Bear 🐻 u r warned!
SF Supporter
Like I have nothing left to give. When I think it’s getting better- I find out it was only a prelude to another collapse. My love is gone. I want to join him, even if it means that neither of us exist in any meaningful sense of the word. F**k this world; my life, and everything I have ever done or was done to me.

It hasn’t been all bad. The magnitude of what has been bad compared to the good makes me feel like a shit sandwich with a glass of orange juice is my lot in life.
 
Crap. I have nothing particularly helpful to say. That said, I would like to say well done for listening to your body to know when it’s an emergency. *grouphug2*console*sadhug*brohug
i will admit... i had doubts the entire way to the er... and sitting in the waiting room... and just about everywhere i still doubted i was bad enough off to be in the er or to get help. That is was an emergency. i know if i let tears fall and begin to cry from the pain, then i lose control of the pain and it floods in and becomes unbearable.
Hugs! Thank you!
 

LumberJack

Huggy Bear 🐻 u r warned!
SF Supporter
i will admit... i had doubts the entire way to the er... and sitting in the waiting room... and just about everywhere i still doubted i was bad enough off to be in the er or to get help. That is was an emergency. i know if i let tears fall and begin to cry from the pain, then i lose control of the pain and it floods in and becomes unbearable.
Hugs! Thank you!
Well, I would rather you err on the side of going and not truly needing to, than the opposite miscalculation. I have a friend whose pancreas is decimated due to long term heavy drinking.

He found out when it started hurting so bad that he went to the ER. I asked him how he could tell it was an emergency. He said that the pain was so bad that he just knew it. Our bodies have wisdom. We can get much from their messages if we learn how to interpret these signals.

On the other side, I went to the ER because I thought I was having a heart attack. It turned out that my heart was fine; I didn’t even have any symptoms of artery constriction. They asked some questions and diagnosed panic disorder. I was sent home with a bottle of Xanax and advised to follow up with my psychiatrist.

Something that did not happen was that I was criticized or treated harshly in any way for showing up without it being a serious emergency. They told me that it’s not unusual for undiagnosed panic to bring men into the ER concerned about cardiac distress.

The moral of this story being that if you feel like the pain is so bad that you need to be seen immediately, that’s a good signal to respond to. 😊
 

JanisSPK

Well-Known Member
I am up early just answering some texts listening to chant music and checking in here while drinking some tea. We went to a zen Bhuddist monastery last night for some zazen and silent meditation. It is close by the apartment. We went to 2 others in SF and this one feels the most welcoming and comfortable. The bf found himself a therapist about 10 days ago and has had a few sessions and is doing much better in the moment so things have calmed down here fairly well. Now just looking towards snow and hard freeze next weekend and we’ll see how I do in it. I’ve already got the apartment overstocked with food. I’m hoping just to be able to go out for a walk during those days and get any kind of movement other than some yoga mat time. I’m such a wus but have to get used to cold weather if I plan on making a move⛰️🌙❄️☃️💨📪
 
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JanisSPK

Well-Known Member
Well, I would rather you err on the side of going and not truly needing to, than the opposite miscalculation. I have a friend whose pancreas is decimated due to long term heavy drinking.

He found out when it started hurting so bad that he went to the ER. I asked him how he could tell it was an emergency. He said that the pain was so bad that he just knew it. Our bodies have wisdom. We can get much from their messages if we learn how to interpret these signals.

On the other side, I went to the ER because I thought I was having a heart attack. It turned out that my heart was fine; I didn’t even have any symptoms of artery constriction. They asked some questions and diagnosed panic disorder. I was sent home with a bottle of Xanax and advised to follow up with my psychiatrist.

Something that did not happen was that I was criticized or treated harshly in any way for showing up without it being a serious emergency. They told me that it’s not unusual for undiagnosed panic to bring men into the ER concerned about cardiac distress.

The moral of this story being that if you feel like the pain is so bad that you need to be seen immediately, that’s a good signal to respond to. 😊
I’m glad you aren’t having any cardiac issues, that you had a decent care experience, and went and took care of yourself to begin with!
 

JanisSPK

Well-Known Member
yes! good for you. It can be easy to forget. nothing Like a pic to remind you.
I just went in to renew in September (every 7 years in Texas). They wouldn't let me do it 2 times in a row online so I HAD to go in person. Even went a few days without being legal, lol.
The pisser is that I got to the desk finally 2 hours while sitting for my appointment time and the copy of my birth certificate had to be the original which I did not know nor did it say ANYWHERE ON THE WEBSITE which I went over with a fine tooth comb the days before.
So I had to leave the building and drive to the courthouse and wait and buy a "real" copy and then return to the DPS. So of course an hour situation turned into 5.
BUT I HAVE IT AND AM LEGAL AGAIN NOW, LOL*woohoo
p.s, the weird thing is that they said they would have to put a vision/eyeglass note on the license. But I don't SEE it anywhere, lol. Truly*hysterical
 
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LumberJack

Huggy Bear 🐻 u r warned!
SF Supporter
I’m glad you aren’t having any cardiac issues, that you had a decent care experience, and went and took care of yourself to begin with!
Yeah, I hadn't realized how bad it could be. I had always had providers with a good professional ethic and I felt well cared for.

The downside is that I got spoiled, and when I ran into crappy providers I was rudely awakened. Yuck! I thought they were called helping professions because the people who go into the field are compassionate and have internal values that guide them toward a career where they help others. Yeah - not so much. There are a lot of nurses that should not be nurses. There are providers who are profiteering and so charge for Lexus-level care and give the patient 1998 Corolla level care in order to pocket the difference. That sickens me, literally and figuratively!
 

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