How Are You Feeling Right Now?
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It's been a strange week. The weird pain in my jaw has almost gone away; I'm feeling a lot better and less worried. For a bit there I thought maybe my heart was giving out or something. It was definitely a reaction to the very bad stress from an interaction with a family member earlier this week. I'm proud of myself for managing to drag myself out for a couple of runs, and did my strength workouts anyway. I took it pretty easy but still, I think the movement and sweat helped a lot. After what happened I'm resigned to being psychologically walled off/alone. That is starting to feel like it'll eventually be a relief. Interacting with humans on a superficial level at shops or whatever, that's fine. ... It's sad but I can't like or love people who think it's their right to stomp with no respect past boundaries.
Sorry you are also experiencing family nonsense @seabird. Seems like we are in tune, I've been having some jaw issues as well (I think it's from tension, first work, then family - been clenching my teeth). I try to content myself with interactions at work, and lately, even someone saying a kind word as they put a plate of food out for me in a cafe has a sweetness to it. I hope you know you are loved here.
hope all goes well on the surgery and hope have quick recovery. 
I'm very tired, has been all I could do to update my walk thread. Didn't get much sleep last night, and had weird dreams, and set out early today. Have walked about 21500 steps today, and added to last 2 days about 55000 steps. Body has been behaving weird - first the twinges when I set off, making me worry I wouldn't even be able to make my trip, then today had a very grumbly groin - which then went off, and had less hip twinges than the first 2 days. You'd think a worsening problem would be getting worse with walking all these miles, not better after 3 days constant load. Anyway, I keep going! Emotionally, still upset by family stuff, trying not to let it get to me. I'll be better when I get back to work and am a bit distracted. Wish I could divorce my family, am going to change my pension request to leave the death benefits to a friend - someone who actually values me. Will maybe think of more stuff, but right now I'm a bit exhausted! Travel back tomorrow, and then tackle the week. Going to get an early night and hopefully get some sleep in the big hotel bed!
We love and care for you @SillyOldBear.
You're welcome but also I'm sorry, it is terrible that you are suffering. 😞 Not you, not our fellow humans, nor animals - nobody should suffer. I understand wanting to feel there's some control over at least something, but please no to the method. The MRI might be part of a solution, but we can't know in advance. I'm always here if you need a friend @SillyOldBear
Took a *benzo to relax me. Yep MRI should provide some answers. But if its what they think it is, its terminal. But I don't have all the symptoms so God only knows.
Had MRI on my back today. That has become a minor problem. Its my pancreas and gastro stuff that are the real question.
No follow up with doctor until 6/24! So I made an appointment with her assistant for 4/30.