How Are You Feeling Right Now?

[Lostman85]

You're not wasting anyone's time

Please also stay strong, you will get through this we all care bout you.

We want that for you too.

You also deserve happiness and love in your life

Yea but won't get it. Sry im down and cant think straight. I guess its night time. I don't like night time. Its like a horror movie.

 

[may71]

Yea but won't get it

Maybe you will get happiness and love. You don't know yet.

Sry im down

There's nothing to be sorry about. You're allowed to feel however you feel here.

I don't like night time. Its like a horror movie.

I think it's pretty common for people to feel worse or better at a particular time of day.

 

[I_waste_everything]

moðer mi li pilin ike la mi ask her why how she feels. She says "inadequate".

She "wishes [her] kids had healþ insurance". She mentioned mi not going full-time.

Ðæt I someþing she has been asking after for monþs. She really wants mi to go full-time at my job. I've been declining.

Now, I feel like I'm somewhere I've been before: Mom, who indeed still loves and cares for us, asserts some choice of ours which does make it harder for her.

In ðe past I've lumped ðis in wiþ blame. Now I know she's simply being factual.

My heart aches. It has in situations like ðis before. But, my ache is not agonizing, like has been so.

 

[LumberJack]

Feeling really down in hurt. She won't leave me alone but she will now. I just dont see why im here. I hate myself

I know the feeling, but it's not necessarily true. Have you tried cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT)?

 

[LumberJack]

I feel really sad. Like my sadness is a giant boa constrictor that has just seized upon me, however it is very weak. So I'm being slowly suffocated by a twisting pressure around my chest. That said, I think I can handle this. My plan is to try some things and watch for how the feeling changes. I dunno if this will work, and feeling very down at times is part of the human condition. In other words, it's not depression so much as I'm sad about the things that there are to be sad about, and most of those are within the past 10 years, so the trend is scary. Depression is disordered, while sadness is a healthy response to things that are sad.

 

[LumberJack]

I know the feeling, but it's not necessarily true (that you don't deserve to love or like yourself) feelings can be real, and untrue, at the same time. Have you tried cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT)?

crap. Just missed the time to edit. What I wanted to add is this: it's not necessarily true (that you don't deserve to love or like yourself). Feelings can be real, and untrue, at the same time. Hope that makes sense. I don't want to disqualify your emotions because nobody has a right to do that to someone else.

And FWIW, I am a qualified expert on rights and responsibilities inherent to all humans. I have a degree in philosophy, a subset of which considers ethics, and human rights are a sub-area within there. So, technically, I'm a professional, lol!

 

[Lostman85]

I know the feeling, but it's not necessarily true. Have you tried cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT)?

I see a therapist tomorrow if I make it. I don't have insurance and im struggling to keep going. I have no strength to fight this fight nomore. Its ok tho. Im not able to end it. Im a failure. I fail everything nomatter if I do good or right I fail. So im not even trying nomore. Thanks tho. You stay strong and keep going. Dont give up on yourself.

 

[Lostman85]

crap. Just missed the time to edit. What I wanted to add is this: it's not necessarily true (that you don't deserve to love or like yourself). Feelings can be real, and untrue, at the same time. Hope that makes sense. I don't want to disqualify your emotions because nobody has a right to do that to someone else.

And FWIW, I am a qualified expert on rights and responsibilities inherent to all humans. I have a degree in philosophy, a subset of which considers ethics, and human rights are a sub-area within there. So, technically, I'm a professional, lol!

Its ok I understand but I never liked myself or who I have become. As you see the state im in I cant love or like myself. I cant do my job as a father or a husband. Now im at side line crappy guy dead beat father. Its such a bad feeling to hear my son say he dont want to be there but I cant do nothing bout it. I get what your saying and I appreciate it.

 

[may71]

he dont want to be there

Do you mean he doesn't want to live with his mother? If so, do you know why?

 

[LumberJack]

I see a therapist tomorrow if I make it. I don't have insurance and im struggling to keep going. I have no strength to fight this fight nomore. Its ok tho. Im not able to end it. Im a failure. I fail everything nomatter if I do good or right I fail. So im not even trying nomore. Thanks tho. You stay strong and keep going. Dont give up on yourself.

These are just my reactions. Take or leave as you see fit:

• I disagree that you are a failure. Failure is a label, and people are not labels. You have failed, and every adult has failed, sometimes quite spectacularly, over the course of their lives. The only exceptions would be worse than failure, because if you are not risking failure, you are in a rut.
• You don't know what will happen in the future. If you disqualify yourself ahead of time, though, that's a 100% self-fulfilling prophecy. I'm not saying "think positive and you can do anything." That is bullsh*t IMHO. What I am saying instead, is that you have to risk failure to have a chance at getting to a better place.
• I wish you would talk to yourself the way you talk to other people here. I am really not sure about saying this because I don't want you to turn it against yourself and thereby feel shamed. In that spirit - I will emphasize that this is not a should, but rather a wish/ambition for you to not give up on yourself. My ulterior motive is that I haven't mastered this yet, so if you figure it out, pls share!

 

[Lostman85]

Do you mean he doesn't want to live with his mother? If so, do you know why?

My son don't like his mom. Of course its my fault im close with my kids. That's why im hurt and feel im worthless. I cant do anything for them. I cant even be there for them

There mom yells at them alot and doesn't do anything with them. I tried to tell her she needs to sit down and talk to them but what do I know. I do that I talk to them. I know my son is hurting. He tells me he is afraid to get kicked out. She curses at them and gets mad when they act like kids. I wish I was a better dad. I wish they could be with me but I can't even take care of myself. Im such a dead beat. Im sry you have a good night

 

[SillyOldBear]

My son don't like his mom. Of course its my fault im close with my kids.

You should be proud that you are close to your kids. That is something many parents never accomplish,

 

[may71]

I cant do anything for them. I cant even be there for them

You might not be able to do anything for them at the moment, but if you focus on taking care of yourself for now, you'll be able to get in a position where you can take care of them eventually. If you can have faith in the dream of one day being able to be there for you kids, maybe even having custody of them, that is something that can help keep you going.

 

[Lostman85]

These are just my reactions. Take or leave as you see fit:

• I disagree that you are a failure. Failure is a label, and people are not labels. You have failed, and every adult has failed, sometimes quite spectacularly, over the course of their lives. The only exceptions would be worse than failure, because if you are not risking failure, you are in a rut.
• You don't know what will happen in the future. If you disqualify yourself ahead of time, though, that's a 100% self-fulfilling prophecy. I'm not saying "think positive and you can do anything." That is bullsh*t IMHO. What I am saying instead, is that you have to risk failure to have a chance at getting to a better place.
• I wish you would talk to yourself the way you talk to other people here. I am really not sure about saying this because I don't want you to turn it against yourself and thereby feel shamed. In that spirit - I will emphasize that this is not a should, but rather a wish/ambition for you to not give up on yourself. My ulterior motive is that I haven't mastered this yet, so if you figure it out, pls share!

I appreciate jack. Your a good person. Stay strong. I only care bout others cause they matter you matter. I dont. So keep your head up and thank you

 

[may71]

I dont

Yes you do matter

 

[Lostman85]

#May71#Sillyoldbear
Yea i accomplished alot in past turned my life around and then lost everything. I never asked for anything from nobody. I asked my wife for a little help and I got thrown out like garbage. Now I got nothing for asking for a little help. I feel the same now. Helping people makes me feel good. My kids I feel are better off without me. I struggle everyday without them. They were the only thing that I looked forward to after work is seeing them and asking how school was and they did. Or having a catch or bike ride but I don't get that luxury anymore. Now I look at a picture thinking if there getting in trouble cause of me. Im a horrible person and father. I never should of made it. Im sry

 

[Lostman85]

Yes you do matter

No may. Maybe im selfish

 

[may71]

My kids I feel are better off without me

Im a horrible person and father

I don't think that's true at all.

I think your kids love and need you. If you can focus on taking care of yourself for now, eventually you'll be able to be there for your kids again.

That would be great for you and great for your kids.

 

[Taylor M]

Keeping my head above water.....just

 

[may71]

No may

No Lostman, you matter much more than you know.