Disappointed with myself. I didn't wake up until past noon today. I know I was in bed by 2:00AM at the latest although I had been trying to wind down since 10:00 PM. Some kind of weird panic attack. Unfortunately it came on so suddenly that I was not able to see it coming. I didn't know it was panic until afterward. I almost called 911 because I felt so anxious that my CNS fight/flight defense was on fire. HR, Respiration, etc, all scary high for having been laying in bed for the past couple hrs, or at most sitting at the computer screen. No clue what it could be. I did have approx 240mg caffeine but that was a little past noon, so 9 hrs before I planned to wind down, and all that did was mitigate my headache slightly. Other than that I've doing better with nutrition. Not enough fiber yet because that has to be gradual in order for the gut biome to do its thing. Water was great at 10-12 cups/ approx 3L spaced out pretty well. I hope I'm just clearing the sugar and preservatives, etc from my ultra-processed food binge. But right now, even after 10+ hrs sleep, I feel like I just took a sedative. Body wants to go back to bed but I need to train it to sleep at night, not starting at sunrise and ending in the early afternoon. God I feel inadequate. It is what it is, though. I know better than to expect the path to be linear. I just want it to be because I'm busting my ass here to change my habits and routines - shouldn't that exempt me from setbacks? UNIVERSE: no. Going to have to learn to take No for an answer from the universe/god/whatever makes sense. I'm doing the things I should. Need to keep in mind it's a marathon, not a sprint.
Also lots of shame arising from nervous system sustained activation, i.e., was in fight/flight so long that I went into freeze. I feel like I should apologize, but for what and to whom, I can't say.
you 