How Are You Feeling Right Now?

[JanisSPK]

So very sad about my kitty.

It was probably cancer the vet said.

I wish things could have been different.

I'm so very sorry to hear of your kitty and this deep loss.
My thoughts are with you over the next days especially.

 

[LumberJack]

I’m feeling okay at the moment. This is better than I have felt in the past few weeks. I just got up from a nap and my thoughts have not ramped up to racing speed. I will see if it lasts. If not, I’m still trying on the idea of allowing my troubling emotions to be there in my awareness. The trick is to find the happy medium between ignoring vs feeding them.

I’ve had to slow down with my frantic activity. I pushed myself too long with poor nutrition and crappy sleep. I am at a point where I physically cannot do this. I am totally depleted and I have had to take some time to recuperate. I feel less stressed out than I was, even though I’m sort of letting up on the accelerator with regard to trying to get my act together.

 

[KM76710]

Some upcoming tests.

I hope that something can and will be found to bring you some relief and that is happens soon.

 

[KM76710]

So very sad about my kitty.

It was probably cancer the vet said.

I wish things could have been different.

Very sad news. Those pets we bring into the house and help make a house a real home are very important, and the loss is deeply felt..

 

[cymbele]

At odds with myself tonight. On one hand I'm happy my friend will visit tomorrow. Until then - and especially tonight - I am lonely and needy. I could call another friend but he is more depressed and needy than I am in my present state and I fear I will get more depressed. I could call my sister but it is the time of day when everyone in her household is demanding her attention. So I sit and grumble about my sad state. This too shall pass. But not soon enough.

 

[may71]

Sending hugs to anyone who would like hugs

 

[Lane]

after a mental breakdown a few days ago I am completely done

Sorry that you're going through this @frozen soul. I hope that you can take the time to heal your spirit. P.s. I luv your avi. I have a tuxedo cat at home.

 

[Lane]

I'm going to overspeak here probably and I apologize if it's too much. I am in an emotional state with my own situations and words are my only way besides meditation and being in nature for connecting. I do not mean to offend in any way, I'm just sharing and trying to be supportive....

It's a hand me down issue from generation to generation. From my grandmother, who I heard was the extreme of inaccessible, who I never knew and died when my mother was 18, then my mother so filled with inaccessibility and unhappiness that she even had a premature child at 30 that she didn't know what to do with or how to treat. Maybe it was a gift I could not have children...but it transmuted for me into a deep desire and mission to deliver them as a midwife and L&D nurse for a number of years while being a nurse..I believe it was a part of my healing as the years went by possibly.

I'm sad you say you "have to take the brunt of".....because I can hear the deep love and desire you have for this child you brought into the world.

I would like to share that if my mother had ever said to me anytime over the years that she was sorry for how she had been with me it would lighten and relieve my heart in so many ways. I know she mostly didn't understand or didn't want to. The only indication I ever had from her was somewhere in my late 30's she actually made a one line statement in the kitchen of her house saying that she knew she hadn't been the best mother. That was remarkable with the wounds she carried around. I almost fell over when she said it. It was not an opening by her for conversation though unfortunately for us or I would have sat down with her and shared and listened.

I embrace the idea that you might consider the idea of apologizing directly. But that is only little me and my thoughts around this situation. However it goes....I so support you in whatever you choose to do and also whatever feelings you have at anytime with whatever you are sharing about here or hold within yourself.

I hope that you get with her a reconnection if it is to be so. And some inner calmness while the time passes in the present.

I know you may not have asked for remarks to your share so thank you for letting me respond to what you wrote.

And I am glad you have such a dear and close friend.

Janis

Thank you so much for sharing your own experiences. Since I read your post, I have been going over in my head, a written apology. One of the motto I try to live by is, "you don't have to be perfect, just good enough". I dont think this was the case in bringing up my daughter. Somehow I missed the ball. I feel like I've endured my fair share of trauma in my life, some brought on myself to a certain degree. This is another upset in the grand scheme of things. This is partially how I deal with the hurt and estrangement. If she only knew how much I love her. I feel like its almost cruel that she keeps me away from my grandson, like im some kind of monster. Thank you again, for letting me share and hearing about your own experiences.

 

[Lane]

So very sad about my kitty.

It was probably cancer the vet said.

I wish things could have been different.

 

[AvidFan]

confused and lost about some important things

 

[DarkNightshade]

Mood is unstable. I'm not by any mean depressed, but one day I'm ecstatic, the next I'm joyous but calm and today I'm agitated and my blood boils easily. The latter is disruptive and uncomfortable.

 

[JanisSPK]

At odds with myself tonight. On one hand I'm happy my friend will visit tomorrow. Until then - and especially tonight - I am lonely and needy. I could call another friend but he is more depressed and needy than I am in my present state and I fear I will get more depressed. I could call my sister but it is the time of day when everyone in her household is demanding her attention. So I sit and grumble about my sad state. This too shall pass. But not soon enough.

I hope you slept well🙏🏽enjoy your day today!☺️

 

[JanisSPK]

Mood is unstable. I'm not by any mean depressed, but one day I'm ecstatic, the next I'm joyous but calm and today I'm agitated and my blood boils easily. The latter is disruptive and uncomfortable.

You just described how I go and feel in a varied way from day to day. I just keep working on calm and joyous. Those are the words and states that have meaning for me these days. Hope you have a good one today

 

[JanisSPK]

Sending hugs to anyone who would like hugs

🕊️

 

[Angie]

A long day of grief ahead of me.

I did manage a shower and a trip to the grocery store.

I keep hearing him, little cat noises. I know its my imagination, but its rough. I keep thinking he will walk around the corner meowing at me.

 

[Greberc83]

I feel tired cant wait to go to sleep lol

 

[AvidFan]

Very hungry. Ordered Thursday pizza. Wait to see if it takes 20 minute or an hour (thinks of inserting the skeleton on a park bench waiting meme but don't want to upset anyone - you get the idea lol!)

 

[SillyOldBear]

What else can go wrong with this damn body of mine? What more can I put up with? Why can't doctors figure out what's wrong? Am so angry and frustrated. I just want out.

 

[JanisSPK]

What else can go wrong with this damn body of mine? What more can I put up with? Why can't doctors figure out what's wrong? Am so angry and frustrated. I just want out.

I hope they can be of help to you somehow someway❗️

 

[LumberJack]

I feel like I’m on some kind of sedative. I just want to sleep. I stayed in bed so long that I became restless. Now I’m going to the gym to burn off some of the energy. I still feel sleepy, though. It’s like I am restless and tired at the same time.