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How Are You Feeling Right Now?

I had the scariest vivid nightmare last night possibly related to my being sick with Covid. Anyhow, one bittersweet part was my mom was still alive and I was on my cell with her. It's like I got to hear her voice again. Woke up really sad though.
That's awful - I hate those kinds of dreams. But I've seen my deceased Dad in dreams and even if they make no sense it's usually good to see him again. I don't necessarily interpret it as some would - that's it's actually my Dad there in spirit. But I think in a way the mental representation of a person we knew so well is a reminder that a part of them does live on in us.
 
Yea. I do believe my religion. Just that, they my mum side can be extreme at one point of time- they'd be like "what if the angels hear your insult to me and make that happened, do you really want me to die and go to hell...?" oh my god women. Im not the only one who say this. why cant they understand that what they did to me is wrong. its literally just playing fire with fire here.๐Ÿซ 

Yea, I agree about being supported part. Thanks. ๐Ÿ˜บ I just dont know why, its embarrassing to admit but since the losses in my family like grandparents and aunt, I have been physically alone like literally- gotten so desperate for support like it makes me unhealthy. My counsellors do suspect my sadness about that- I just hate feeling sad and vulnerable on top of unsupportive family of my own, its really weird to be surrounded and present with people/friends that it still makes you feel lonely and you just legit lost your closest, Idk what to say, Im feeling delulu.
๐Ÿซ‚๐Ÿซ‚hugs..
 
I have to quit smoking again and I'm struggling getting through the beginning part, especially when you eat or drink and you want nicotine. But I prayed and was asked to be a little patient so it shouldn't be long that I have to deal with that. I know I can't defy God (He wants me to quit because it's been affecting my health). That's the bottom line, no matter how bad it feels, because that's going to feel even worse.
You will overcome this..don't worry..God's with you
 
Im hoping my TCA side effects can go off, first it was the nightmares and on third week, it worsen my migraine that I have trouble finishing my sentence. The only thing thats acceptable to stop if it causes rashes like my propranolol, ugh. I spoke too soon too fast. TCA is my one and only hope for now before my next neurology apt.
I hope the side effects go away soon..hugs๐Ÿซ‚๐Ÿซ‚
 

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