We're here for you Mike as you are always here for others. I hope the pain passes and quickly. I wish you didn't have to suffer so much. 
mike....
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How Are You Feeling Right Now?
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thank you @Lane it did come down. like i said before my pain in general is about 1 point lower, and that includes spikes. but once in a while it gets too high for too long but even that is ok because it doesn't happen much anymore. the best part is my mental health is still ok even during spikes. i may lose the war on pain but i will continue to have little victories lol
mike....
mike....
I've come to realize that how I feel is actually normal. All people live with some pain and suffering. And they find things to do to pass the time anyway. It was meant to be that way. So that in mind, I guess nothing is actually wrong. I guess I'm not depressed. And anxiety happens to everyone. I guess my flaw was that I believed how I felt was wrong, that something must have been missing when in reality it's nothing at all.
Sore. I let my room get messy because I dont know what to do with papers that I dont know if I'll need. So I decided if that stack of papers has been in the closet for a year i'm throwing most of it out. I don't like tossing tax papers in the general garbage so i was careful not to dump that. Will find a place to burn them. It feels a bit better. Not done. I only have a room for my stuff an myself. I let my older son store stuff for me for a while but unfortunately he left photos uncovered and rats got in. I was kinda upset, some were my favorite old pics I had to toss because they were wet. I was no longer upset when I realized I hadn't provided a cover or a blanket for the tub. My fault. I'm getting anxious about court for traffic tickets. My insurance will go up, I wont be able to afford it. I bought this car to help me with my disabilities (back and shoulders), higher up seat and high flat surface to transfer groceries and stuff. Maybe I get lucky and a judge will understand that.
I hope you feel better soon @Holding my breath
Defeated! Spent a few hours on the phone to multiple different finance n billing, just to learn there's no way to get mental health covered without private insurance. My CICP n HDC won't cover it. They couldn't tell me if a grant would because no one seems to know who controls the grants. So, i was told i could get private insurance (like i can afford that) or i can go, get a bill, n then set up payment arrangements "once services have been rendered." UGH!!! Makes me wonder why i bother sometimes.
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It is beginning to seem like something/someone is keeping me from being alone. i'm frustrated with this because my desire to be alone is so strong right now. Either a class that my husband was to teach was cancelled n he comes home early, or my middle child who still lives with us is off work early so he comes home within a few mins of the other one leaving... this type of thing has been ongoing for the last few days. i can't seem to get more than 20 mins alone! Could be good for my health... just not appreciative of it right now.
Should be happy as I got a new job today pays great
but I have had Norovirus this past week and my body is messed with that but my anxiety has kicked it and my mind is running around thinking about how my face is bad and making me think of ways to get out of it
even considered hurting myself to the point I could not take it
so overall I feel horrid
but I have had Norovirus this past week and my body is messed with that but my anxiety has kicked it and my mind is running around thinking about how my face is bad and making me think of ways to get out of it
even considered hurting myself to the point I could not take it
so overall I feel horrid
