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How Are You Feeling Right Now?

Hopeliess with no wishes to live. I am in my late 50s and I do not have friends, family. a job a decent place to live. There is nothing for me in this earth. I hate my siblings because they have good lives, income , holidays, children and I do not have anything only pain the only thing I can do is self destruct myself, I am scared of myself I am a monster, I deserve the death penalty.
Hi @zuzu

I'm sorry you feel that way
I'm glad that you're here
We're a safe place,
we're a supportive and caring community

Welcome!

peace
 

Astray

Well-Known Member
I feel like all the good work I've done on my recovery was for nothing. Square one. I'm a useless creature. I think the < mod edit - timeline >
 
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MisterBGone

~\_✅`,')
SF Supporter
I feel like all the good work I've done on my recovery was for nothing. Square one. I'm a useless creature. I think the < mod edit - timeline >
Sometimes, it can be a long & difficult road--& an arduous journey, at times; on the "road to recovery!" As there seem to be many (potential) 'pitfalls.' And seemingly--very little margin for error. However, I also feel that it is important to acknowledge that, you are number one, only human, and very, very few don't suffer some kinds of setbacks along the way, usually involving relapses of sorts, on multiple occasions. So long as you're able to continue to keep battling on, and refuse to "give up," I'd say you're just perfectly fine - in my mind. I know however, your own thoughts & opinions will vary. Just keep in mind that they are also subjective ones, and that you might not feel that very same way, about some one else (another individual, in other words) were they faced with the same scenario - & you were to make an assessment on them, and their lives (or how they are living them). And I'm hoping, of course, that that will not / or won't be - the case: with < mod edit - timeline > Let us know if you need, or would like any help - (with this).
 
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MisterBGone

~\_✅`,')
SF Supporter
Just lost and hopeless. Again. Was talking about it to my friend about life and she was feeling the same way. I wish I didn't have to get through this crap.
I'm sorry it's been such a rough morning, and yes, I think that you and your friend have discovered what it is for so many of us to be alive, and especially when--we ourselves are having face a mental illness, or some/or any form, kind, or type. It can then, even more than otherwise, be a progression, with or which has: many "ebbs & flows." So hopefully you (just) know, that this feeling won't (hopefully) always be accompanying you permanently. Or as in never leaving/& always staying (by your side). Anyway, here's to brighter days ahead @puffymilk ! : )
 

MisterBGone

~\_✅`,')
SF Supporter
It's just that the house is like a borderline hoarding situation. You get rid of stuff and then she buys more to supplant it. And neither of them really do much to pick up after themselves. She doesn't want my nephew to go back to live with my sister but it's like ok....you need to actually keep your house clean then, and not have people cleaning it on a regular basis only to go back to the same mess.
Well, see now.,, that’s a whole‘ other level of disorder; than I was thinking it was. . , so! Yeah? You may very well have your hands tied there, then. As I’m no expert: but I’d suspect, what you’d want to do in order to treat or help with that hoarding situation, or behavior, is to first tackle or address the reasons as to why they are engaging in such excessive activity in the first place. In other words—if you can get to the bottom of that (or at least begin to have it be managed somewhat, such that it is not becoming such a destructive force that leads to such…) then you may better be able to disable that/or the . . . I don’t even know what you call it? An addiction? Or a coping mechanism? A compulsion? Well, whatever terminology or label you’d care to ascribe or attribute it to, that’s what you would ultimately hope to do! In a perfect world, that is~ … 😉👌🤗💯🙌✅😊
 

1964dodge

Has a monkey as a friend
Safety & Support
SF Supporter
I'm not sure why I bother to help them though. I mean it's kind of a lost cause, like I just watched my mom throwing up in the trashcan and she still won't stop drinking. Literally nothing will make her stop at this point.

And she will blame anything but alcohol on the fact that her body is slowly shutting down. She's still in denial and it's sad to watch.

I watched my grandma slowly waste away and my grandpa died in front of me...I guess I wouldn't expect anything less than my mom to go the same way. Sorry, just feeling overwhelmed at this point.
taking care of an ailing parent is beyond stressful, but throw in that she's an alcoholic just makes things almost unbearable. i promise you when your mom eventually passes you will be glad that you did it. i know from experience, i took care of my mom for around 11 or 12 years.

mike....*hug*shake
 

1964dodge

Has a monkey as a friend
Safety & Support
SF Supporter
Frustrated! the Only apartment i can afford is a tiny place where the floorboards come up as u walk and it has a mini fridge in a so-called kitchen smaller than the bathroom... which isn't saying much. Either that or a 4 bedroom that you have your own room n bathroom n share a common room n kitchen with total strangers... like a dorm room of sorts... and on top of it all, both places are in the two worst parts of Denver and will be over an hour commute to n from work! Makes me wonder why i bother! (and i can't have my cat with me at either place) Maybe this should be in petty complaints instead...
i hope you can find a reasonble affordable apartment that allows your cat

mike....*hug*shake
 

1964dodge

Has a monkey as a friend
Safety & Support
SF Supporter
My feelings are like like doom and I also feel that I don't want someone to tell me not to have them.
your feelings are valid and nobody has the right to say you can't have them. what you have been through would shake anyone up pretty bad. all i can asay is try to do positive things so the doom will be pushed further back in your mind

mike.....*hug*shake
 

1964dodge

Has a monkey as a friend
Safety & Support
SF Supporter
Hope this makes sense

So I was up all Sunday night still not well got the sickness and dioreaha bug that comes every winter anyway I have a job interview that my work coach got me with her friend

So I dont think I can rearrange it so now my nerves and depression is adding to the sickness and making me feel like death
sorry that you don't feel well, i hope the interview goes well

mike....*hug*shake
 

1964dodge

Has a monkey as a friend
Safety & Support
SF Supporter
I feel like all the good work I've done on my recovery was for nothing. Square one. I'm a useless creature. I think the < mod edit - timeline >
you did all that hard work which was important. you seem to be going through a rough patch but please hold on and keep fighting. plese keep posting because we are llistening and we hear you

mike....*hug*console*shake
 

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