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How Are You Feeling Right Now?
- Thread starter UNREGISTERED0000
- Start date
In my case they actively went out of their way to make my condition worse. Imagine going to the ER in pain with a broken leg. Then the staff withhold treatment and pain relief just because they don’t like that you are behaving as someone in pain would be expected to act. Then they chastise you for not being safer and give you a pamphlet on preventing injury instead of any form of first aid.
The psychiatric equivalent of every detail of that thought experiment happened to me during my stay. Then there was the neglect of basic hygiene, and the ward had such poor ventilation that when it got cold outside, it got cold inside. Not just uncomfortable, but dangerous levels of cold where they had to put blankets in the dryer for warmth.
I’m never going to seek any form of treatment next time I’m in crisis. It’s mandated for therapists to report me to the police if I express a plan to harm myself. The police will then have me dumped into the nearest psych ward, where I will be charged thousands of dollars in copays just to be left to rot in a filthy room.
I am sure it is worse for some people. I imagine that incarcerated people have it even worse. But it occurs to me that if I am comparing something that costs $2.5k per night before any provider bills, it is an unacceptably low bar to have to look to criminal punishment to find a place that is worse.
The psychiatric equivalent of every detail of that thought experiment happened to me during my stay. Then there was the neglect of basic hygiene, and the ward had such poor ventilation that when it got cold outside, it got cold inside. Not just uncomfortable, but dangerous levels of cold where they had to put blankets in the dryer for warmth.
I’m never going to seek any form of treatment next time I’m in crisis. It’s mandated for therapists to report me to the police if I express a plan to harm myself. The police will then have me dumped into the nearest psych ward, where I will be charged thousands of dollars in copays just to be left to rot in a filthy room.
I am sure it is worse for some people. I imagine that incarcerated people have it even worse. But it occurs to me that if I am comparing something that costs $2.5k per night before any provider bills, it is an unacceptably low bar to have to look to criminal punishment to find a place that is worse.
Like I'm losing my mind. First the 5am wake up, settling for getting up, to face further battles with ants digging up my foundations. Decided I'd stroll to the supermarket to get a few supplies, which introduced a completely mad 20 minutes of not being able to find my front door key to get out (have one with office keys but I usually use a standalone for short trips). I recalled opening my amazon package with it on Thursday after voting. Looked in all the usual places. Figured I'd lost it. As a last resort - I thought surely I didn't throw my key in the bin? SURELY NOT. But I went through the kitchen bin anyway, and there at the bottom was my shiny front door key. 🤨
On the way out I decided to put some stuff in the recyling and I thought "that box looks a bit new to be in there." Turns out it was a heavy box addressed to me and the postman had put it in the cardboard recycling without even putting a card through to let me know, so I don't know how long it's been there. Turns out it's a router from my ISP - I already have a perfectly working router. Apparently this is an upgrade even though I haven't signed up for any new speed or package. So I'll have to change my wifi password on everything and they want me to put the old router and power supply in the box, slap their label on and take it back to the post office, or they'll charge me for it. LOL. Would have been a lot greener to just stick with the old router!
After that madness I went to play dodgems with trolleys at the supermarket.
All this is on top of the fact that I'm pretty sure I'm going to have to have new windows put in the front of my house. There's a large crack at the top of the frame which has let in water at least once (it has to be raining hard and blowing sideways, but sometimes it does, because there's a bloody hole there). No idea how much this will cost. Going to get someone out to see if it's worth repairing but both front windows are over 25 years old and not in the best condition. It can be my every few years nod to doing my best to maintain a house that I can't really afford major repairs on if I ever need them. But I can maybe do windows. Might save a bit on energy bills.
I've at least convinced myself that the roof doesn't need doing and the back wall isn't collapsing, at least for a while. Really wish I had someone I trusted and knew well to advise me on these things as the only thing I've ever managed to build is a lego rocket.
Anyway, as if there isn't enough to do with trying to ensure income and work! So I'm not exactly in the most relaxed frame of mind but Ok considering all that 🤣🤣🤣
On the way out I decided to put some stuff in the recyling and I thought "that box looks a bit new to be in there." Turns out it was a heavy box addressed to me and the postman had put it in the cardboard recycling without even putting a card through to let me know, so I don't know how long it's been there. Turns out it's a router from my ISP - I already have a perfectly working router. Apparently this is an upgrade even though I haven't signed up for any new speed or package. So I'll have to change my wifi password on everything and they want me to put the old router and power supply in the box, slap their label on and take it back to the post office, or they'll charge me for it. LOL. Would have been a lot greener to just stick with the old router!
After that madness I went to play dodgems with trolleys at the supermarket.
All this is on top of the fact that I'm pretty sure I'm going to have to have new windows put in the front of my house. There's a large crack at the top of the frame which has let in water at least once (it has to be raining hard and blowing sideways, but sometimes it does, because there's a bloody hole there). No idea how much this will cost. Going to get someone out to see if it's worth repairing but both front windows are over 25 years old and not in the best condition. It can be my every few years nod to doing my best to maintain a house that I can't really afford major repairs on if I ever need them. But I can maybe do windows. Might save a bit on energy bills.
I've at least convinced myself that the roof doesn't need doing and the back wall isn't collapsing, at least for a while. Really wish I had someone I trusted and knew well to advise me on these things as the only thing I've ever managed to build is a lego rocket.
Anyway, as if there isn't enough to do with trying to ensure income and work! So I'm not exactly in the most relaxed frame of mind but Ok considering all that 🤣🤣🤣
I'm getting anxious about how the extreme heat makes me feel, because it sort of wrecks my runs. I'm feeling insecure; needing to accomplish a lot of nerve-challenging tasks by myself in the near future. Certain things are starting to float up into a place where reality shifts around and it's not comfortable.