How Are You Feeling Right Now?

[Livelife]

Heavily anxious. My health is worsening and I have a strong resistance to seeking medial care. There is a huge mental block of avoidance when I know I need to make an appointment. I didn’t work today because I can’t. So I need to get this taken care of so I don’t lose my job.

I don’t even know if I should drive. My partner is asleep after switching to 3rd shift. I have a friend I can call to ask to take me, but I’m anxious about asking. I don’t like asking for help. It’s very hard for me. This has been occurring for several days now, and the feedback loop is exacerbating my mental conditions, specially my generalized anxiety.

I’m also scared to take an Uber. The way I feel makes me need support of someone in my life, but there’s only one person at this time, and they may not even answer the phone.

I feel in a paralyzed state of indecision, so this is all extremely difficult right now. This feels pathetic

Sounds like a Big situation for you, not being able to work, or feeling safe driving. The medical care out there is hit or miss these days, I get it. And you still need to know what is happening if you don't know what the diagnosis of the issue is that you are having that feels impairing. And job jeopardizing. I hope your friend or Uber can get you to an appointment to find out what's going on....

 

[Ash600]

Heyo,

Thank you for this! It's really helpful.

I spoke to a friend at work about it this morning, just casually in passing and she said she has it as well, exactly as ive described where it feels like one eye isn't reacting to light as it should be. Apparently hers was checked and her optician basically said that it can happen after some kind of infection (strep throat, tonsillitis) and is more common in women and its harmless. She gets headaches occasionally and sometimes has to rub her eye to get her pupil to wake up??? Like wtf is that haha??

I'm still getting mine checked because it could be completely different, but it was nice to have a bit of face to face reassurance that it's not just me with freaky eyes

I was looking into it and it does seem to be a much more common than one would've thought. There can be many causes that can lead this to happen so all good that you're still getting it checked out. Can imagine the reassurance that must have been felt after speaking to someone with the same condition.

Lol @ "freaky eyes" - hey man could be worse.... you could be one of those people with different coloured eyes. Coupled with differing pupil sizes. anyone might think that you've got someone else's eyeball in your socket.

 

[mosaic hearts]

I can't move today. I need to go out & get some groceries because I'm running out of food to eat & I need to go out & get my medication from the pharmacy because I'm running out of pills. I don't know what's the matter with me. I just can't get myself moving. I wind up like this sometimes where I can't bear to go out & be seen & be around people. Like some kind of acute, time-limited agoraphobia. Awful.

 

[Livelife]

I was looking into it and it does seem to be a much more common than one would've thought. There can be many causes that can lead this to happen so all good that you're still getting it checked out. Can imagine the reassurance that must have been felt after speaking to someone with the same condition.

Lol @ "freaky eyes" - hey man could be worse.... you could be one of those people with different coloured eyes. Coupled with differing pupil sizes. anyone might think that you've got someone else's eyeball in your socket.

I had a dog with two different colored eyes so I guess it could happen in a human.

 

[mosaic hearts]

I had a dog with two different colored eyes so I guess it could happen in a human.

Yes it does. I think it's beautiful.

 

[Livelife]

I can't move today. I need to go out & get some groceries because I'm running out of food to eat & I need to go out & get my medication from the pharmacy because I'm running out of pills. I just can't get myself moving. I wind up like this sometimes where I can't bear to go out & be seen & be around people. Like some kind of acute, time-limited agoraphobia. Awful.

Try for the pharmacy first. I don't know what the pills are but it might be one that isn't good if you just stop them. I hope it's nearby and fast for you to accomplish, do they have a drive through setup? Then maybe while you are out and if it feels ok you can run into the store for a day's worth of food real fast, in and out. That would take care of eating for a day. How about fast food drive through if it boils down to that for the day, can't believe I'm saying a drive through but calories in are needed...I'm glad to hear it's time limited.

 

[Ash600]

I had a dog with two different colored eyes so I guess it could happen in a human.

The condition in humans I believe is called heterochromia. I've only ever come across one person with it. He was a medical delivery driver, one blue one green eye. Guy was something else, had a tendency to flip out in bouts rage in the most dramatic and unexpected manner.

 

[SillyOldBear]

Dreading the day. Frustrated with medical shit.

I'm wondering if feeling useless will kill me in the end.

I totally get it about medical shit. I think I have insurance company set to actually pay on my claims now. But just spent about 20 minutes on phone setting up evaluation appt for cataracts and what they call a low angle in one eye. Cannot get in until 9/5. About a half hour drive to get there. Will have to drive home dilated. Hope it is a cloudy day.

If feeling useless was fatal, many of us would be dead already.

 

[Ash600]

I can't move today. I need to go out & get some groceries because I'm running out of food to eat & I need to go out & get my medication from the pharmacy because I'm running out of pills. I don't know what's the matter with me. I just can't get myself moving. I wind up like this sometimes where I can't bear to go out & be seen & be around people. Like some kind of acute, time-limited agoraphobia. Awful.

Just a passing thought, but regarding your pharmacy. Do they provide a home delivery service by any chance?

 

[SillyOldBear]

Heavily anxious. My health is worsening and I have a strong resistance to seeking medial care. There is a huge mental block of avoidance when I know I need to make an appointment. I didn’t work today because I can’t. So I need to get this taken care of so I don’t lose my job.

I totally understand. Medical system really sucks. Doctors are cold and impersonal. Its hard to get appointments. Insurance is a major hassle. Sometimes it doesn't even help to see a doctor. Hope you get some relief to your issues soon,

 

[mosaic hearts]

Just a passing thought, but regarding your pharmacy. Do they provide a home delivery service by any chance?

Yes, but I can't even face the delivery person. Pathetic.

 

[mosaic hearts]

I decided to force myself to go out. I need food & medication. What I had for breakfast was the last of what I had in my fridge & I have just one capsule left of my blood pressure med. I'll do everything as fast as possible: -> in -> out -> home.

 

[Livelife]

Yes, but I can't even face the delivery person. Pathetic.

So glad to hear you pushed past it and are getting some food and meds

 

[AvidFan]

Absolutely exhausted, but better than I was before I did 4 hour of remote meetings/calls. Probably delirious.

 

[TragicReality]

You matter

I know that feeling well though.

hugs back, things sound tough for you too. And I'm sorry my likes do mean i'm listening and care, but right now haven't slept much lately and might forget what I read but i care because other's know the pains of life

 

[AvidFan]

Tired but I don't want to go to bed. I feel kind of OK, and don't know that I will feel OK tomorrow, so kind of want to keep it going while it lasts. Plus I don't want to lie awake again all night.

 

[Angie]

Frustrated with doctors and medicines.

For example, the cardiologist INSISTS I take a statin, even though my numbers are good and my GP says I don't need it. She insisted this before even SEEING my numbers.

FML

 

[Astrid78]

Was supposed to start a new job but the person bailed and ghosted me. I hate when people do that. Why even contact me?

 

[snails]

Extremely overwhelmed! i have so much to do to move forward... n can't find the item that needs to be done 1st. Everything on my list needs to happen after something else. Tiny example: Can't move till i find a job. Can't find a job till i know where i can move to.

Understandable! Life is so complex isn't it. We are all here for you

 

[snails]

Was supposed to start a new job but the person bailed and ghosted me. I hate when people do that. Why even contact me?

Oh no I'm so sorry @Astrid78 . That's rotten