How Are You Feeling Right Now?

[mosaic hearts]

I had another bad night with flashbacks & intense suicidal urges/impulses. I emailed my psychologist & asked her if we could turn our in-person session today at 12 noon to a phone session instead. She said yes. I'm also worried about how I'm going to function when I go back to work next week full time. I pick up my new medications later today. I hope they'll help to settle some things down, specifically the severe flashbacks & body memories, & the suicidality. They're exhausting & traumatizing & interfere with my ability to function as I need to function.

 

[1964dodge]

Feeling like an orphan.....

 

[1964dodge]

Hell, I feel lousy. Its morning and I woke up again. I hate waking up.

 

[1964dodge]

doing well

mike....

 

[Fleury Dragon]

doing well

mike....

Very happy to hear that Mike

 

[1964dodge]

Very happy to hear that Mike

thank you @Fleury Dragon

mike....

 

[Astrid78]

Went to a food pantry and they gave us 10 bags of marshmallows a bag of mostly bad potatoes. A bunch of expired powdered drinks. 3 bottles of expired ketchup. A bunch of juice boxes and chocolate milk. Not sure how a family is supposed to eat with that. My grocery bill went from $75 a week to $200. Guess I will have to cancel house insurance and possibly my phone or electric/water. Just to eat.

 

[AvidFan]

Tired but not totally exhausted. Tried to do a bit of work and my brain is like mush, would have thought I'd have been on top form at 10pm after working all day after 4 hours of sleep, but was not to be, so to bed I must go!

 

[nicktheundoer]

Sad. I can't attain un-sad. So I struggle to care for things and myself as they are. I feel grateful for SF.

I'm sorry....sometimes I feel the same way..Wishing you happiness and sending you love...❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

 

[puffymilk]

Not good. I suck so bad as a person. I feel so useless. I can’t do anything.

 

[AvidFan]

Not good. I suck so bad as a person. I feel so useless. I can’t do anything.

Sorry you feel that way, you sound like a great person and probably have more skills than you think!

 

[AvidFan]

Tired and a bit anxious, deflated. Been looking at jobs. I did a bit of searching and heard of people who'd joined the civil service in their 50s. Lots of posts from people saying they joined at 40, 50 and even 60. So I trawled 297 jobs on the civil service jobs site and there isn't a single one I would even be remotely qualified for, short of apprentice, which wouldn't work as it wouldn't even cover my outgoings even if I did somehow manage to blag my way into it (which is unlikely with 1000s of fresh unemployed graduates out there). So I've no idea how these people managed to get civil service jobs at the age they did. Probably did a lot of work in corporate at management level or something and are just moving from private to public sector so it's not like they're starting afresh, really. Seems to be no place for a person with a hodge podge of work experience and patchwork of employment/self employment. 😒

 

[puffymilk]

Feeling better now

 

[Livelife]

I'm concerned, it's becoming apparent that I will not be able to carry Samsun from the house to the backyard grass for much longer because it's becoming a challenge for me.
At the same time I'm physically feeling better than I was earlier in the week, out of bed and doing things.....

 

[Angie74]

Like I want to be dead and not feel anything anymore.

 

[puffymilk]

A bit tired and sad

 

[puffymilk]

Like I want to be dead and not feel anything anymore.

Kind of feeling the same way…

 

[Windhover]

Like I want to be dead and not feel anything anymore.

I am also very, very tired of feeling, knowing I'm a failure at everything I've tried to do.

 

[Lonelyheart200]

I feel very good.
Last night I had a dream about him. He was so sweet and beautiful in my dream. I miss him so much. The fact that I won't see him again is so hear breaking.

 

[Keeno]

I feel great considering my situation is so bad, the only good thing about is I'M STILL ALIVE! 😁