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How Are You Feeling Right Now?
- Thread starter UNREGISTERED0000
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i had a good reason to not call my doctor. i'm 99% sure my doctor would admit me in the hospital lol. i'm not quite myself yet but doing a lot better. i even went out yesterday and took my wife to the flea market, salvation army , and dollar store next state over yesteray so definately better. how have you been doing my friend. i hope things don't get too bad before you get to go home. i as you look forward to going home but i think we can both wait until we are invited. you are a very strong and intelligent person as well as a good friend
mike....
mike....
I may go home soon. Blood tests are showing some real issues. Will see doctor on Thursday. I am totally ready to go home. Just don't want the exit to be hard.
Thank-you for the supportive message @1964dodge I am going to try but confidence is low x
I'm feeling very down & weapy today. A lot of things are bothering me. One of them is intense lonelyness. I have better days & bad days around this. The last few days are bad days. It's really hard being alone & having no one to rely on except yourself in real life. Really hard. I'm crying as I write this. I don't want to live like this for the rest of my life. What's the point? None. Absolutely none. If I die tomorrow (of natural causes) the government will have to bury me. I have no one. I took care of my mom a few years ago. I have no one to take care of me. Sorry for being so somber & dark. I can't help it. What's the point of living like this? I don't know...
I hope it lifts some for you. It's so hard doing everything for yourself, I get it. Please don't give up now.
I struggle with this too. The small amount of joy or interest that I feel is not worth the stress and pain of living in the human condition.
I am also very lonely.
But, I have a philosophy degree! I can think deep, deep thoughts about the existential despair that clouds my mind. I’m thinking that there really is no point. Logically, if I know what the point of life is, then I’ll eventually be asking what’s the point of that thing?
The chain of purpose has to end somewhere with the ultimate “point,” that everything is building up to. And that thing would necessarily have no point, but it is okay because it’s somehow a point in itself. Maybe life itself is the ultimate point.
And that can be a good thing, or at least not a problem. I’m paraphrasing Alan Watts here, and he has a talk about how there is no point, just like a dance has no obvious point; it is definitely not an endeavor to reach a certain point on the floor. Similar with music; the point of music (good music, anyway) is the music itself, and not just to get to the end of the symphony. There’s much more to sort out on this subject, but this is more or less where I am at right now.
Connection is hardwired into us humans. We need others and the physical effects of loneliness are substantial. I’m buggered though, if I can tell you how to connect with others and not get hurt/taken advantage of/betrayed, though. That’s why I think so much, It’s a problem that may be impossible to solve.
I am also very lonely.
But, I have a philosophy degree! I can think deep, deep thoughts about the existential despair that clouds my mind. I’m thinking that there really is no point. Logically, if I know what the point of life is, then I’ll eventually be asking what’s the point of that thing?
The chain of purpose has to end somewhere with the ultimate “point,” that everything is building up to. And that thing would necessarily have no point, but it is okay because it’s somehow a point in itself. Maybe life itself is the ultimate point.
And that can be a good thing, or at least not a problem. I’m paraphrasing Alan Watts here, and he has a talk about how there is no point, just like a dance has no obvious point; it is definitely not an endeavor to reach a certain point on the floor. Similar with music; the point of music (good music, anyway) is the music itself, and not just to get to the end of the symphony. There’s much more to sort out on this subject, but this is more or less where I am at right now.
Connection is hardwired into us humans. We need others and the physical effects of loneliness are substantial. I’m buggered though, if I can tell you how to connect with others and not get hurt/taken advantage of/betrayed, though. That’s why I think so much, It’s a problem that may be impossible to solve.
I’m feeling my customary Sunday afternoon frustration. I like my job okay, but I’m not making very much money compared to what I made before covid hit. So I’m under financial stress and in the dilemma of feeling like I need to be looking for a better paying job, but I’m barely keeping up as it is, and I’m too depressed to prepare my bullshit answers to the bullshit questions that they ask at every first round interview.
“Tell me about a time when you had conflict with a colleague.” Why don’t you tell me about a time when you gave an interview relevant to the actual job rather than asking the same canned questions year after year? I don’t have people skills; that’s why I do software development.
So I am feeling overwhelmed by capitalism and I would rather live in a place with a social safety net. Too bad that even if I moved to the EU I still wouldn’t have access to benefits having no citizenship or paying into the system over time. I’m living with homelessness almost hanging over my head and it makes my frustration worse.
“Tell me about a time when you had conflict with a colleague.” Why don’t you tell me about a time when you gave an interview relevant to the actual job rather than asking the same canned questions year after year? I don’t have people skills; that’s why I do software development.
So I am feeling overwhelmed by capitalism and I would rather live in a place with a social safety net. Too bad that even if I moved to the EU I still wouldn’t have access to benefits having no citizenship or paying into the system over time. I’m living with homelessness almost hanging over my head and it makes my frustration worse.
Dear @LumberJack,
I'm really tired because I didn't sleep past 2 hours last night I worked a short 4-hour shift today. I just want to respond saying I'll write more tomorrow. I know that life in itself is precious. It's given to us by God. I guess I'm struggling with the idea that just existing isn't life they way I envisioned it in my younger days, want now, & or wish it to be in my future. To need to be loved by someone, to matter to someone, to know you're not walking this planet alone & that someone has your back, is what I struggle with now (among many other things). In my darkest moments I think what’s the point? I'm rambling. Sorry. To be continued tomorrow. God bless you! Thank you for reaching out to me. That you did shows me you care. That means a lot to me.
I'm really tired because I didn't sleep past 2 hours last night I worked a short 4-hour shift today. I just want to respond saying I'll write more tomorrow. I know that life in itself is precious. It's given to us by God. I guess I'm struggling with the idea that just existing isn't life they way I envisioned it in my younger days, want now, & or wish it to be in my future. To need to be loved by someone, to matter to someone, to know you're not walking this planet alone & that someone has your back, is what I struggle with now (among many other things). In my darkest moments I think what’s the point? I'm rambling. Sorry. To be continued tomorrow. God bless you! Thank you for reaching out to me. That you did shows me you care. That means a lot to me.
I did wind up going to the jazz brunch that my friend invited me too. Even put on some makeup. I thought it was going to be a buffet style but it was actually a sit down meal. It was a little uncomfortable because her two sisters were there too and 3 others that I'd never met. But I tried to make the best of it and we even danced a little which was fun. I still wonder why she invited me, but oh well.
