How Are You Feeling Right Now?

[AmberMarie]

To giving relationship advice, lol.
Believing in the sanctity of marriage is very strong. I think if I held that belief more, I might not have divorced so many years ago. But, it's all said and done.

And yet... if i hadn't... i would have divorced all those many years ago... and i would now be very free! i would probably have a MUCH different life right now! Happier most likely! But... who knows!

 

[Baywasp]

Crying over hockey memories, but I'm not quite sure why

Even the song on its own makes me cry because of my association with this video

 

[Holding my breath]

Sad 😢

 

[Windhover]

Wondering why relationships are complicated and if I'm any good at them.

^ this and I'm pissed off how much more work I would get done IF I could do without bothering thinking about them.

 

[Windhover]

Sad 😢

Sending a wish and thoughts for less sadness, &/or a balm, a solace to you Holding my breath.

 

[AvidFan]

Ready for bed. Just eating a bit of supper. My brain is doing its usual stupid trick of feeling bright eyed and bushy tailed and ready for action after feeling like a drowned hedgehog all day. The dread about tomorrow has subsided now it's inevitable but I do still feel apprehensive as I can't seem to predict how I am going to feel at any time. Most days lately I've felt rubbish to start with and improved, today that turned on its head and I felt fine to start with and then had an awful afternoon, spurred largely by no sleep at all. The only remotely predictable thing is feeling OK at bedtime most of the time. Time will tell if I ease back into work and feel fine once I'm distracted and busy again, or if I really am totally exhausted in some clinical way. Just want to get through the first day back, that is my goal. But first, I I hope I can at least get some sleep. If benzo withdrawal had waves and windows, this amitriptyline withdrawal (if that's what it is) is like a rollercoaster designed by a psychopathic devil. Wish me luck!

 

[Windhover]

Wish me luck!

Good luck & good thoughts @AvidFan

 

[Windhover]

Feeling amazed how different - better - I feel after a run. ✨☺️

 

[TragicReality]

In pain. I'm moved now, my phone still has data for reading. I shouldn't complain. Landlord brought his parents?! which made me feel awkward. I'm shy. He pointed to the small window to tell them ",that pissed me off when he broke that". Yup I'm paying for a replacement but make sure you bring your parents to watch the show of moving all my stuff out.

He was going to give me January rent back. They were ready to leave, his mother has Alzheimer's, I know because my mom had it. I said don't worry about it, just get your parents home.

My back was so sore I felt embarrassed to be sitting while he grabbed my bags checking drawers..I get it but man he should know he can trust me to not damage or leave stuff. I paid the neighbor guy well so I had to nudge him to come back and help some more. I don't mind giving money for help.

But now I'm so hurt I can't get up to find my meds because they stuffed my car so full. My milk will freeze on the car. I'm more worried about finding my meds. Can't get up. I will in the morning face the pile in the car. I wanted him to put it in his truck. I could barely shut the back. I really shouldn't complain. I'd rather get some stuff in the night so my new neighbors don't see piles of garbage bags loaded with clothes etc.

 

[TragicReality]

On a more positive note. This place isn't damaged, it has nicer views out the windows, it's not all in a basement, and I have a real legal lease which is peace of mind. It's nice and quiet, I think this was a blessing in disguise.

 

[TragicReality]

And I'm sorry I sound bitchy. Pain does that too. At least he helped move my things. He didn't have to. And I think he partly made me move because he didn't like how my son treated me. He was a good landlord, he gave me a hug and said don't let your son know where you are. He's right, I'll just lose another apartment with my son's anger at me. Sorry to hog the forum.

 

[TragicReality]

I’m feeling utterly useless. I’m starting to clean up some aspects of my life. It’s a lot of work and it seems like there’s only misfortune down the road. I am wondering if I should just say F— it and go out with a bang.

Hugs, I'm sorry you feel this bad. I hope things turn out better soon

 

[Winslow]

Yesterday when something overwhelmed me, I contemplated Death for a while. But today I'm back to normal. By normal, I mean I want to stay alive. But life is precarious, because I can so easily slip back into the Death mode. Thankfully, I find it comforting that there are others on this forum with the same precarious life, so this sharing is a tremendous moral support.

 

[Inanimate]

I’m constantly reminded that I feel much better mentally when I feel physically taxed. That has not been the case for several months. Exercise is my retreat, and I need it desperately.

 

[Bergerac]

Argggh! And sad. That is all.

 

[AvidFan]

Rough. Very rough. Had to take a diphenhydramine at 2.30am and that bought me about 3.5 hours of some kind of sleep, but woke up just after 6am with truly terrible cholinergic rebound. Heart rate was 55 during the perceived sleep stage, then went all over the place when I woke up - I honestly thought I was dying and felt so trapped as I thought I'd need to go to the hospital but also didn't know how I was going to explain it all and didn't think they could do anything anyway. Kept telling myself it was just imbalances working themselves out. I forced myself to lie in bed and maybe dozed between 7-8am, then just tossed and turned unable to get comfortable for another couple of hours, forcing myself to at least stay horizontal as long as possible. Trying to ease into today somehow. At least I just have 2 meetings at the office so will just try to get myself there, get through those, and the rest of the day, one thing at a time. The rest of the week, I will think about later.

 

[Lane]

Sad 😢

 

[zuzu]

Crying over hockey memories, but I'm not quite sure why

Even the song on its own makes me cry because of my association with this video

I was very happy that Washington won the Stanley Cup back in 2018. ALthough I am from Toronto Canada. My first ice hockey game live was Washington Capitals against Toronto Maple Leafs and I was thrilled of the intensity of the game. Back in 2016 I visited Washington D.C. and many people mentioned that the Capitals were doing very well

 

[AvidFan]

Sick of my messed up brain. I had to fight my way through today. Fight to keep awake, fight to form sentences, fight to be a functional human being. So I decided I'd go to bed early. About 5 minutes after that I felt wide awake and now am wishing I could feel as sleepy as I felt all day, because now it's bedtime that sleepiness would be handy. I'm sure there must be a reason why my brain and sleep cycle is arse backwards like this, but I'm too busy scrolling through Reddit to find out 🤔 Hoping for a better night and not feeling like I'm doomed at 6am. Got a light schedule but I need to have some confidence I can become more functional somehow. Work is quite rosy right now, I need to be able to take advantage while it's there. I certainly don't feel like I just had 2 weeks off 😟

 

[LumberJack]

Mixed. The good is that I am clearer today with respect to identifying when my thoughts are less than helpful. The bad is that my anxiety symptoms are running at ludicrous speed and I am really having a hard time resisting the urge to get high to get a break.

I even had a semi-recurring dream about using cannabis last night, and I rather enjoyed it.