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How Are You Feeling Right Now?
- Thread starter UNREGISTERED0000
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Tried challenging him and he just gaslighted me - it's not their fault I had moss growing on the slates and I asked them to remove it - so why does a large area of slates look a weird white colour? That's just mud stuck to the slates. Anyone seen white mud? Jesus fucking christ, fucking scamming incompetent bastards are going to cost someone's life. Well done, assholes.
They're coming back tomorrow and I really needed a weekend to get myself well again for next week. There's this horrible area of slates that looked all white and worn. Reroof guy said it was delaminated slates and I needed a new roof, £580 guy said it was lichen, £2100 guy said it was just moss. I thought they were going to sort it out for me. They said they've scraped the moss off and now it looks much worse, like a whole area of the roof is about to implode. I don't know how moss would make slates white. It makes no sense, it just looks awful. When I've spoke to them they don't seem to be overly concerned about it, but then why should they be if they walk away with £2100 and my roof caves in within a week? I don't know if I'm just being paranoid, I was beyond stressed and exhausted before all this and thought it would all be over today and I could breathe a sigh of relief. I'm 54, I'm self employed, and just getting by, this is financially crippling me as it is and now it's emotionally crippling me as well. Maybe it's OK, it's just I've never seen anything like this, they don't think it's a big deal. Maybe it's just me but how am I supposed to know when 3 different people told me 3 different things and I plumped for the one who had 66 positive google reviews and seemed well established.....
Thank you. I've just been looking at every roof I pass for ages and have never seen anything much like it. I suppose ultimately all I can do is take them at their word, I did ask if I needed a new roof, they said no, and if all those slates needed replacing surely they'd have said so and charged me a lot more? Just hard to look at it and feel like it looks right. My anxiety is in overdrive. I'm going to try to go to my running group even though I'm exhausted.
Went to my running group and basically tried to kill myself by running myself to death on the way home (sorry if that breaks the rules but it's not usually a method!). Didn't work, my heart kept pumping my lungs kept breathing and my legs kept going forward. I honestly wish I could have keeled over and died. Now I've got basically got another day off filled with this crap, soon I'll be back to a job that is fucking killing me, maybe I should embrace it but I wish it wasn't death by 1000 cuts and a slow decline in to misery rather than just a swift exit.
I saw a new therapist today. It was good to be able to talk about some stuff that I was a bit concerned about from a duty of care point of view. I was worried if I talked about suicide it might cause a bit of an issue. It didn't and it felt good to be able to get some of it out there. I also told them I was concerned that when I see the psychiatrist that they will want to increase my medication, where I have concerned about this, it might sound strange but in a way I'm not sure I'm wanting to get better. It was good saying that out loud too. There are a couple of reasons for that, the not getting better, but Im going to keep that to myself for now. I ended up spontaneously crying at one part, I said a couple of certain words and I couldn't help but starting to cry.
Curious. I looked at my remote job and there was an unpaid skills refresher so I did it and found it soothing. There are some other paid opportunities on there that might lead me to a different path. I am so fed up of the office job and the commute, and rescheduling and meetings, I've kind of had enough of it, while I still love the remote work. If I could get a more secure opportunity at it with better pay, maybe it will be what I need. And I can start paying for my very expensive mistake.
I feel so bad and alone, I don't think I'm a bad person but someone very special to me, is making sure I disappear from their lives. Its like I don't exist and they have completely disappeared. I would do anything to be able to speak to them. I feel so alone, I am alone. I was just trying to make my life and their life better, I just don't know what to do. We would speak in some form or another everyday for the last 27 years and now complete radio silence. I can not bear it.
I don't know what to say to make you feel better. This has happened to me with various lengths of friendships but 27 years is very hard to deal with. I'm sorry you're going through this and won't offer any platitudes like "maybe they're just busy" etc, even though I hope there some reason behind it and you get back in contact. 😢 I hope you can find a way to feel better soon, and hope you don't feel completely alone with some SF friends around you.
