Like my life has been a waste of time and needs to end soon.
Sorry you feel like that. I sometimes think that life is pointless and my life is a waste, but I thought a lot about this and I suppose for me, it's about looking at the meaning of life in general. Is the meaning of life to have a meaningful life?, in that case, who is to say what is meaningful? I think that is down to you how to measure that. But own western culture try's to dictate that.
For me, I got caught up for years, in this, you need to have money, a family, a big house to have made it and be meaningful, I have realised that things don't work like that and you have people with all of that and are unhappy. I tend to look at meaningful, as experience, rather than material things now.
I'm sure from reading your posts you are a nice person and the times you have liked my messages I have found meaning in that, that being someone has listened to me - for that, thank you.