How Are You Feeling Right Now?

[TragicReality]

Ashamed. I finally go outside and I come off looking like a snob to the first person to talk to me here. My mind goes a million miles an hour, I got the questions about me and I'm in my own head and overshare. Part of it was it was a guy and I went out not realizing I forgot to put a bra on under my shirt. He wanted a handshake. Time to realize I'm old and nutty and I hate myself right now

 

[LumberJack]

not getting anything back or should i say i suppose not getting what i want. I dont think its much through after 27 years to have a conversation. Maybe i am asking too much, i dont know

I would not say you’re asking too much. If someone was to go no-contact after that long, it is normal for you to want to know why, and if I were in the other person’s shoes, I would feel like I owed the other an explanation.

We can’t always get what we deserve, though. I think it’s totally sensible that you are hurting. Humans have a deep yearning for closure, but too often, closure is not attainable. I’m sorry that it’s hurting you so much.

 

[LumberJack]

Ashamed. I finally go outside and I come off looking like a snob to the first person to talk to me here. My mind goes a million miles an hour, I got the questions about me and I'm in my own head and overshare. Part of it was it was a guy and I went out not realizing I forgot to put a bra on under my shirt. He wanted a handshake. Time to realize I'm old and nutty and I hate myself right now

I am a gay man, so I have less of a stake in what women wear, but I think nothing less of a woman who doesn’t wear a bra. In your case, it could be that she simply forgot, or if she prefers not to, I think it would be nobody’s business but her own.

Secondly with handshakes across genders-historically men did not shake hands with women. Subsequently, it is not officially the role of a man to offer a handshake, especially during the first conversation.

The advice I received is that I should pay attention to the woman’s body language and reciprocate only if she starts to reach her hand toward me. I sought out this coaching in grad school because yes, I am that awkward 😬 In the case when I don’t sense a wish for handshake or a hug, I will wish her well, and probably wave or do the namaste gesture, (awkwardly).

I do the namaste gesture because I acquired the habit in Thailand where it’s customary regardless of the gender. Except if they are carrying something because they would have to set down their boxes to return the gesture, lol. I wanted to be polite so I went around bowing and saying sawadee krab to everyone, until my partner pulled me aside and explained the finer point, lol 😆

 

[TragicReality]

I am a gay man, so I have less of a stake in what women wear, but I think nothing less of a woman who doesn’t wear a bra. In your case, it could be that she simply forgot, or if she prefers not to, I think it would be nobody’s business but her own.

Secondly with handshakes across genders-historically men did not shake hands with women. Subsequently, it is not officially the role of a man to offer a handshake, especially during the first conversation.

The advice I received is that I should pay attention to the woman’s body language and reciprocate only if she starts to reach her hand toward me. I sought out this coaching in grad school because yes, I am that awkward 😬 In the case when I don’t sense a wish for handshake or a hug, I will wish her well, and probably wave or do the namaste gesture, (awkwardly).

I do the namaste gesture because I acquired the habit in Thailand where it’s customary regardless of the gender. Except if they are carrying something because they would have to set down their boxes to return the gesture, lol. I wanted to be polite so I went around bowing and saying sawadee krab to everyone, until my partner pulled me aside and explained the finer point, lol 😆

Thank you, you made me feel better

 

[LumberJack]

RN I feel pretty frustrated. Being jobless is very painful for me because I don't feel like I contribute to society at large in any other way.

The root cause is the fall from grace. I don't have headhunters trying to recruit me as was the case 10 years ago. At the job before my last job (penultimate job, lol) - I went from guru/rockstar under one manager, to be written up for performance under another. The expectations of the job changed, and I did not have the tools I needed to meet the new demands. It further complicated things that this manager had a beef with me from a prior interaction when we were peers. I went into a new job where I would be an engineer being managed by another engineer, and a damn good one at that. That company has financial issues though, and laid off half the IT workers including yours truly.

So now I am facing a job market where 10s of 1,000s of people in my field have also been recently shown the door. It's hard to even get a call back. I don't even know if my resume makes it through the automated screening, and suspect the job posting stops accepting resumes after a threshold of applications come in - but nobody in HR thinks to close the job posting. Even more fun, is the fact that many of these jobs are with fed govt employers that require a security clearance. I don't have one, and the background check for getting one includes interviews with everyone who has even a tangential relationship with you so they can assess your fraud risk. I simply don't know enough people to be able to provide that many references. So, that sucks, but who cares because it's not like employment with the state is exactly so secure anymore.

I just feel like a slob - I used to be so in demand that I could just peace out from one job and have three new offers lined up and now I'm coming up on 3 months of being out of commission - which is damn near a deal killer unless I can explain it pretty well. I do have an explanation, i.e., current economic conditions, however if the gap sends my resume into the internet black hole I have no opportunity anyway.

 

[ProudToBeWeirdAnna]

This topic is simple. Post how you are right now. It could be what your thinking, doing, listening to, writing...whatever! Because you know what they say:

"Get out of the past, stop dreading the future, and worry about now!"

Right now, I'm so-so, not happy, not sad, but less stressed because it's Saturday.

depressed, unmotivated, ugly, a failure, awkward, lonely

 

[nicktheundoer]

depressed, unmotivated, ugly, a failure, awkward, lonely

I'm sorry you feel that way...you're a sweet and lovely person..

 

[nicktheundoer]

I'm feeling a little better.

☺️☺️☺️

 

[nicktheundoer]

I know exactly how this is bc it's the same for me; feels like he's haunting me though I don't think he's dead. At least, afaik. Though, when I'm asleep with no dreams it's a great relief from the anxiety of it all. I hope you can get some closure Inastorm. I doubt I ever will and have been re-thinking how to go from here, meaning going forward (not to suicide).

I hope your tattoo goes well.

You will be happy..🤗🤗🤗

 

[nicktheundoer]

Beaten

 

[nicktheundoer]

I had awful dreams and nightmares about my missing person last night. Been having these for months and I wake up feeling really crap and missing them so much.

I dont know what to do, I want to reach out to them again but the rejection is a killer. I dont know what is worse.

 

[nicktheundoer]

sad

 

[Inanimate]

My appointment with my psychiatrist was uplifting, as he is a rather affable sort of man, though that feeling has since subsided.

 

[Lane]

Ashamed. I finally go outside and I come off looking like a snob to the first person to talk to me here. My mind goes a million miles an hour, I got the questions about me and I'm in my own head and overshare. Part of it was it was a guy and I went out not realizing I forgot to put a bra on under my shirt. He wanted a handshake. Time to realize I'm old and nutty and I hate myself right now

Please try not to hate yourself, you did nothing wrong.

 

[Lane]

depressed, unmotivated, ugly, a failure, awkward, lonely

Welcome to the forum @ProudToBeWeirdAnna. I don't think youre any of the things you described. For me, that's depression talking. How are you feeling today?

I hope that by being here, you can find some peace. There are various topics to browse and the members are a friendly and supportive bunch.

 

[puffymilk]

I have a headache, but I think it's because I haven't eaten any proper meal yet, so I'm gonna do that soon

 

[puffymilk]

depressed, unmotivated, ugly, a failure, awkward, lonely

So sorry that you feel this way. As @Lane said, welcome to the forum. Feel free to express yourself here, and I hope you feel better soon

 

[LumberJack]

depressed, unmotivated, ugly, a failure, awkward, lonely

FWIW feeling ugly is a symptom of depression. I get it when I feel severely depressed, dunno if that’s the same for you.

What’s wrong with being awkward? I am the most socially awkward person I know. I’m getting better about it through practice, but I still trip over my own feet and end up trying to get out of someone’s way when I’m walking. The awkwardness of that is that the other person is also yielding to me. So when we both decide to go ahead then we’re still headed towards each other and so we both sort of move off to the side but at the same time, and then the other person gets frustrated but I laugh it off and say I’m going this way while gesturing off to one side…

The thing is that my awkwardness is something that people find pretty charming, especially if I can laugh at myself when it happens. My therapist said to think about it from the other person’s side; would I think less of someone who is awkward? No, I would be happy to not be the only one!

Feelings of failure and lack of motivation, I am right there with you. LMK if you solve those two!

 

[TragicReality]

Please try not to hate yourself, you did nothing wrong.

The guy i was embarrased in front of is very nice. I actually told him as we walked past a bit later in the hall, that I'm sorry if I sounded snobby, I wasn't wearing a bra. I chuckled... I laugh at myself. He said ''have a good night. I never noticed anything.'' I went out today and he's fine to talk with. He actually cared when I said I think my taxi drove by and checked for me. I'm glad that I don't need to feel stupid after this. I've been in my apartment never speaking to anyone since I moved in. I feel better. Now I've met all but the lady above me. Sometimes it's ok to realize that if we did or said anything wrong, laugh about it. I'm old.

 

[TragicReality]

It's good to see you on the forums again Nick, I was wondering how you are. You're a very kind person. I hope the sadness eases for you.