Fed up, my body is letting me down, ribs, hip, leg, back, guts, brain, all at once. Just going to try to rest up, recuperate, then assess after the bank holiday, as short of an emergency, I won't be able to do anything till next week if I decide the next triage step is appropriate. I just hate the fact people I know tell me they book GP appointments online and it's a breeze. My GP still has the 8am appointment bingo system in place and I hate it, they won't even book routine appointments in advance any more, I used to ring up, they'd say we've nothing until 6 weeks from now, and I'd book and wait, now you can't even do that, you have to fight for the 2-3 appointments that might be available at 8am across a cohort of 2000 patients who are all hammering the one phone line trying to get through at the same time. Totally pathetic - I basically need a Jira board and all my years of project management experience to get an appointment with a medical professional. AND likely cancel work commitments due to the lack of any flexibility. That's why I generally don't bother with doctors unless it's going add value. Never mind the last time I needed medical help, and they kept prescribing just enough antibiotics to make the infection die down but then bounce back, and I became a case study of in vivo antibiotic resistance as the weaker bugs got wiped out leaving the stronger ones to multiply. Did my research and said I likely need a longer course of antibiotics. Doctor (different one again), refused, saying that's not in the guidelines, here's another weeks' supply of a different antibiotic for the 5th time. I said that won't work, the data is saying this needs a longer course. No. You are an idiot, I am the doctor, do what I say and stop doing whatever you are doing to keep reinfecting yourself. So I took their antibiotics, bumped it up with my own illicit supply (I'm resourceful like that), stayed on a strong cocktail for two weeks and after that my urinalysis strips stayed free of nitrites and leukocytes and the infection was nuked for good. After the classic 9 month wait to see a urologist about this (long after I was cured) I went to the appointment just for confirmation, they confirmed that I had so many recurrences because the infection was not sufficiently treated by the GPs who sent me for kidney scans, STI tests despite not being sexually active (I got the sense one of them thought I was lying), all kinds of things when all I needed was some common sense prescribing. That experience was awful, add that to having a tumour misdiagnosed as a cyst that "would go away on its own if you stop worrying about it", and then eventually major surgery where they informed me of the potential life changing complications an hour before I was due under the knife and made me sign a paper in a vulnerable state - so much for informed consent) among many other anecdotes and you might start to understand my complex web of distrust with the medical profession.
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Thanks for sharing. He sounds like he's being caught up in a power struggle, has he asked why you left in the first place? or had a willingness to talk. I myself was previously really bad at getting into a power struggle and being pig headed, but I also knew when to stop and try to turn things around, and reflect on my own actions. I completely understand what you mean in respect to the deep fatigue, in some respects this is what is making me hesitant to attempting contact again, that and being ignored.
Oh I was seeing those as well I'm using ANPs and GPs interchangeably - you don't get any choice at my surgery you just see whoever is available - if anyone is. Besides which when I knowingly presented with diazepam withdrawal I was told I had a tension headache.... The ANP was looking through PDFs on their computer because they didn't know what to do. I can do much better research than that and spend hours on it rather than a quick 2 minute Google. The ANP was the one who looked at me with disgust and said ecoli lives in the bowel, not the urinary tract, I'm sending you for a STI test.... I knew exactly what he was suggesting. That was after the finger up the ****
You aren't garbage @DowntheRabbitHole,just struggling. I know its not the same as IRL, but you have friends here always.
I understand the hurt of adult children not wanting anything to do with you. It hurts but I try to realize that it's my daughter's choice and she's missing out on a relationship with her mom, me. I feel grateful to have fond memories of when she was a baby. It used to really tear me up, but I've grown into acceptance that took 15 years of her pulling away. I hope that you can find some peace today and self love.
I understand the hurt of adult children not wanting anything to do with you. It hurts but I try to realize that it's my daughter's choice and she's missing out on a relationship with her mom, me. I feel grateful to have fond memories of when she was a baby. It used to really tear me up, but I've grown into acceptance that took 15 years of her pulling away. I hope that you can find some peace today and self love.
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Sorry this happened.
@Lane You're a cool person from what I gather here, I like you and am going to risk saying this: please stop doing that.
hug
Sorry this happened.
@Lane You're a cool person from what I gather here, I like you and am going to risk saying this: please stop doing that.
hug
Feeling really depressed now. I have a doctors appointment coming up next month, where they are looking at either personality disorder and or autism. The person in my previous relationship went through all of this about 5 years ago, where they were diagnosed with autism. I supported them through all of this, but now, as they have left me, I feel like I going through what they went through but this time, I'm doing it on my own, rather than, their experience, of which was with my support. I'm not angry or anything, just feeling let down and alone, disappointed.
I also reached out to them again via email. I'm not fully hopeful of a reply.
I also reached out to them again via email. I'm not fully hopeful of a reply.
I’m really sorry that you are in this condition. I have the opposite experience, and I can’t imagine how I would have even gotten a diagnosis at all without him.
I think you have strengths that I didn’t have then. You are aware of your different-ness enough to be curious about it and seek understanding. I just thought it was everyone else’s problem, but I have learned otherwise.
I think you have strengths that I didn’t have then. You are aware of your different-ness enough to be curious about it and seek understanding. I just thought it was everyone else’s problem, but I have learned otherwise.
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The hate and disgust i have for myself is still pretty strong, however, much more manageable. i don't feel as hopeless either. Still so very lost though. Thank you for the hugs @seabird and @LumberJack!