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How Are You Feeling Right Now?
- Thread starter UNREGISTERED0000
- Start date
Mopey tonight don’t want to go back to work after vacation but I have to. Cat is sick. I’m lonely and alone. Overwhelmed with all the yard work that has to be done. Feeling stressed about money even though I shouldn’t. Just tired of life. 
Im really struggling to manage my relationship breakdown, that the other person is either ignoring me or sending me mixed messages and bizarre responses. I dont think i can take much more of this. Its making me feel like i deserve to not be here, that im worthless, otherwise why would i be treated like this.
I wish you could separate how you've been treated from your own worth. There is rarely, if ever, any correlation between what people are deserving off and how life/others treat them, though I know it's easy to internalise and self-blame especially when it's someone you love or loved dishing out the harsh treatment. Sorry you are going through all this. ❤️
it's coming barb be patient. let's look at worst case scenario, the most we have is 10 or 15 years probably a lot less, compare that to eternity in heaven and it's not even a drop in the bucket of time
mike....
mike....
I'm oddly calm. It's odd for me. I went out to get something and forgot my wallet, but I thought I'd talk to the pharmacist I like at the drug store about my meds. She's good, she once let me away with cheating on my pain med by one day. I asked her what i can do about my doctor not upping my opiod, it's been 5 years now. She said ''oh, I didn't realize... but I'm sure your doctor knows'' I said yes, I've stuck the robaxacet on his desk. I shouldn't have to keep taking all this other stuff too.
It's like, what else can I do. My doc just had a small smile on his face. I know he thinks I shouldnt have more opiods, but it gives me about 2 hours of pain relief, then I'm taking robaxacet twice a day. I'd rather just have an opiod without the tylenol, something that works all day and doesn't affect my kidneys and liver. I knew she couldn't tell me what to do, she didn't understand the pain contract i signed. But she did let me know if I went to a pain management clinic that doesn't mean I'll lose the oxycodone. I refused to go because I assumed I'd just get this needle they stick into the sacroiliac joints, and it's a temporary fix, and lose the small amount of opiod. It's not the only place that hurts either. So maybe i'll ask my doctor to refer me to another pain clinic again. They are an hour's drive away, but disability might help me with gas money. The shots, they would have started with, my sister had it in her knee when she first had psoriatic arthritis. She said it didn't make a difference after a bit.
I think it's, well if you think there's a possiblility you have something that might spread and kill you, you appreciate each moment. I still worry about my younger. I need my peace, he had chances to help out here and change and look for work. He has to get to the point he accepts help from a shelter, or the crisis numbers I keep giving him. I'll lose this place if he comes back yelling and screaming, and he just says he'll do stuff he doesn't do. It's summer. If I don't get him on his own two feet, if he doesn't, nobody will be there to help someday. I'm sorry I write a lot lately. He's texting me and yes i feel awful but he'll be 25 soon and he doesn't change.
It's like, what else can I do. My doc just had a small smile on his face. I know he thinks I shouldnt have more opiods, but it gives me about 2 hours of pain relief, then I'm taking robaxacet twice a day. I'd rather just have an opiod without the tylenol, something that works all day and doesn't affect my kidneys and liver. I knew she couldn't tell me what to do, she didn't understand the pain contract i signed. But she did let me know if I went to a pain management clinic that doesn't mean I'll lose the oxycodone. I refused to go because I assumed I'd just get this needle they stick into the sacroiliac joints, and it's a temporary fix, and lose the small amount of opiod. It's not the only place that hurts either. So maybe i'll ask my doctor to refer me to another pain clinic again. They are an hour's drive away, but disability might help me with gas money. The shots, they would have started with, my sister had it in her knee when she first had psoriatic arthritis. She said it didn't make a difference after a bit.
I think it's, well if you think there's a possiblility you have something that might spread and kill you, you appreciate each moment. I still worry about my younger. I need my peace, he had chances to help out here and change and look for work. He has to get to the point he accepts help from a shelter, or the crisis numbers I keep giving him. I'll lose this place if he comes back yelling and screaming, and he just says he'll do stuff he doesn't do. It's summer. If I don't get him on his own two feet, if he doesn't, nobody will be there to help someday. I'm sorry I write a lot lately. He's texting me and yes i feel awful but he'll be 25 soon and he doesn't change.
a lot of things right now barb. i don't have to tell you how bad things get when we get old. still upset about doctor visit last week. depression and anxiety is a lot worse, i started a depression med. we are taking her out saturday for sure. i may talk later this week thank you
mike....
mike....