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How Are You Feeling Right Now?
- Thread starter UNREGISTERED0000
- Start date
I can relate. At every job I’ve had, there’s always been that one coworker that drives everyone nuts with weird behavior. My last job I had a coworker who was senior to me who had a problem with everything I did, but my business partners, who are the end users of our work would ask for me to work with. It was just a personality difference; I liked to do things experimentally, but she had one way of doing things and everyone who was different was flat out wrong.
The difference was that she was fixated on the “textbook“ way of doing something. That works in academia, but the business world problems are not so clearly defined.
The difference was that she was fixated on the “textbook“ way of doing something. That works in academia, but the business world problems are not so clearly defined.
@seabird
Thanks, I wasnt sure, but your right. What you said before regarding the forum being a good place of support because of like minded people was spot on. I put on a position (masking) most of the time away from the forum, I have to do this for work. When I was struggling at work last year, my position was slipping and became quiet. I got a lot of grief for it and comments like 'your not the same as you normally are' and things like that, so I had to try and put on an act. It's like that with my sister at the moment, and a weekend of that, I just dont want to do and passing by the same area as the missing person I think would finish me.
Hope your doing okay, where would you like to go travelling?, I would love to go to Japan.
Thanks, I wasnt sure, but your right. What you said before regarding the forum being a good place of support because of like minded people was spot on. I put on a position (masking) most of the time away from the forum, I have to do this for work. When I was struggling at work last year, my position was slipping and became quiet. I got a lot of grief for it and comments like 'your not the same as you normally are' and things like that, so I had to try and put on an act. It's like that with my sister at the moment, and a weekend of that, I just dont want to do and passing by the same area as the missing person I think would finish me.
Hope your doing okay, where would you like to go travelling?, I would love to go to Japan.
I'm sorry. If I have to go to my sister's up north, I drive right past my ex boyfriends. It's over 6 hours to him, and taking in traffic conditions and stops it takes up to 11 hours to get to my sisters. The last time i did that, I was so sore from driving I swore I'd never drive that way again, plus, I don't need reminders of a place where my ex bf took us to vacation every year, I get where you're coming from. Your's is more recent, so it would be very diffiuclt for you. hugs
I had a nice talk with a neigbor. He was the friendly from the start, was listening every time I went out. This time I think I did a better job at listening to him too. It's better than me going on and on, he had some suggestions and advice that I like. We didn't get rain for a long time, it was so hot. Now it's cooling off and I don't need the a/c tonight. I feel pretty good considering I used up my opiods the day before yesterday.
I'm wondering if anyone has heard from @1964dodge . Getting concerned. I hope you're ok as can be Mike.
I've had to cut my son off from support, I tried helping but he got out of hand, even the lady at the store stopped and talked to me and said she felt for me, understanding herself, he own son hasn't talked to her in years she said. He was shouting in the store that I'm a fn ******I can't give him money, he threatened to buy Fentanyl and I won't give him the opportunity. He was showered, so he still has support from the community in town here, albeit it's not much.
I'm wondering if anyone has heard from @1964dodge . Getting concerned. I hope you're ok as can be Mike.
I've had to cut my son off from support, I tried helping but he got out of hand, even the lady at the store stopped and talked to me and said she felt for me, understanding herself, he own son hasn't talked to her in years she said. He was shouting in the store that I'm a fn ******I can't give him money, he threatened to buy Fentanyl and I won't give him the opportunity. He was showered, so he still has support from the community in town here, albeit it's not much.
yea. my colleague so annoying I can trigger her easily when we are bored. I'd be telling Naidu "why not we give her my rude customers, she will make so much noise for sure" 💀🤣🤣🤣
Also Alan from the IT depeartment be playful when our manager isnt around dances behind her while shes doing serious call. I love this week Wednesday. HAHA
Also Alan from the IT depeartment be playful when our manager isnt around dances behind her while shes doing serious call. I love this week Wednesday. HAHA
Not sure what just happened, but it frightened me quite a bit. I was asleep and had woken up (which happens often as of late). I took a nicotine lozenge and was about to go back to sleep, when suddenly it felt difficult to breathe. My heart sped up and started racing, possibly due to shortness of breath, or anxiety/panic, or both. It took about 10-15 minutes to calm my heart down and reassure myself that my breathing was normal again. No idea if that was a panic attack that came out of nowhere or some kind of heart problem. No other symptoms, though, other than the two I mentioned.
I recognize myself doing that. When I get into my "professional mode" I'm pretty convincing because I have literally practiced it. I have read up on body language and the cues that make a given facial expression look genuine (not that I have any control over my facial expressions recently, but I used to be completely without affect and had to make up my own expressions), and I practiced those in the mirror. I even have a couple different personas, for example work persona, family persona, working with customer service persona and so on. But what I really reacted to is the difficulty turning it off at the end of the day.
The part about your son's behavior sounds really hard. I have been in "recovery" for over 15 years and only continuously abstinent for 3. Been through the entire continuum of care from "white knuckling it" on up to inpatient rehab and private addiction treatment. So I would expect myself to know how to do this "boundaries" thing and able to determine the border between offering loving support and care of a close relative, vs enabling their self (and sometimes other)-destructive behaviors. Had a similar pattern with my niece, who AFAIK is still struggling with IV opiate addiction. Similar issue with my sister presently, who is spiraling due to grief and not letting anyone help. So- yes it is heart-rending and feels extraordinarily guilt-inducing, like you are overriding your instinct to care for him.
As per my developmental psychology course, young children tend to bond most strongly to the opposite-sex parent, so that is why we have "momma's boys" and "daddy's girls" So the bond between you is one of the strongest bonds of human nature. Which is why it is so brutally painful... but for me - I have had to take the long-term perspective, as in "will I feel like I did the right thing 1 or even 5 years from now?" People don't change until they are in a situation where the pain of the status quo exceeds the perceived pain of change. This is the more articulate description of having to "hit bottom."
Not everyone bottoms out at the same point, but everyone has to reach a point where it's hurting so bad and destroying so much that one is willing to do anything to change. Based on your previous posts I have the image that he is past the point of enabling though, and when I read the posts about your son, I make up an image of someone who is like my niece, i.e., any material resources contributed will allow the addiction to continue snowballing. Because if I buy her clothes, she has more money for drugs. If I drive her somewhere, she didn't spend money on fuel that she can now spend on drugs, and so on. This is based on empirical observation; she only got worse when we tried to help. But I imagine it is far more difficult and painful for you, because he is your son. I am not a parent so it's not possible for me to put myself in your position. I can put myself relatively close though, and can only imagine how tough it must be to stick to your guns.
If I could I would like to remind you that you are strong for doing this, and I don't know if he will get better, but it very much appears to be that when you help him he tends to go off the rails again.
I hope that helps. It's more just my reaction than advice, so if it doesn't match your experience please disregard it. Sorry I'm just really vulnerable and raw right now.
As per my developmental psychology course, young children tend to bond most strongly to the opposite-sex parent, so that is why we have "momma's boys" and "daddy's girls" So the bond between you is one of the strongest bonds of human nature. Which is why it is so brutally painful... but for me - I have had to take the long-term perspective, as in "will I feel like I did the right thing 1 or even 5 years from now?" People don't change until they are in a situation where the pain of the status quo exceeds the perceived pain of change. This is the more articulate description of having to "hit bottom."
Not everyone bottoms out at the same point, but everyone has to reach a point where it's hurting so bad and destroying so much that one is willing to do anything to change. Based on your previous posts I have the image that he is past the point of enabling though, and when I read the posts about your son, I make up an image of someone who is like my niece, i.e., any material resources contributed will allow the addiction to continue snowballing. Because if I buy her clothes, she has more money for drugs. If I drive her somewhere, she didn't spend money on fuel that she can now spend on drugs, and so on. This is based on empirical observation; she only got worse when we tried to help. But I imagine it is far more difficult and painful for you, because he is your son. I am not a parent so it's not possible for me to put myself in your position. I can put myself relatively close though, and can only imagine how tough it must be to stick to your guns.
If I could I would like to remind you that you are strong for doing this, and I don't know if he will get better, but it very much appears to be that when you help him he tends to go off the rails again.
I hope that helps. It's more just my reaction than advice, so if it doesn't match your experience please disregard it. Sorry I'm just really vulnerable and raw right now.
Sure sounds like a sleep panic attack to me. I looked it up and that's a thing, lol. https://health.clevelandclinic.org/why-am-i-panicking-in-my-sleep
Ofc it's Cleveland Clinic so their answer to everything is diet and exercise, and if that doesn't work, start a mindfulness practice. As if we hadn't been told that yet!
I have experienced what's called hypnic jerks - https://www.health.com/hypnic-jerks-8710756
Funnily I have not had them too much since I got into Somatic Experiencing (SE) therapy for my PTSD. I remember having them when I was a little kid almost every night. When I first went to bed, I would have a dream that I was flying with only my body, which I quite enjoyed. But eventually the dream would end with my flight collapsing into my physical body and the hypnic jerk would make it feel like I just fell into myself. Even looked like it if I was on a waterbed. Went all the way into my 30s
Ofc it's Cleveland Clinic so their answer to everything is diet and exercise, and if that doesn't work, start a mindfulness practice. As if we hadn't been told that yet!
I have experienced what's called hypnic jerks - https://www.health.com/hypnic-jerks-8710756
Funnily I have not had them too much since I got into Somatic Experiencing (SE) therapy for my PTSD. I remember having them when I was a little kid almost every night. When I first went to bed, I would have a dream that I was flying with only my body, which I quite enjoyed. But eventually the dream would end with my flight collapsing into my physical body and the hypnic jerk would make it feel like I just fell into myself. Even looked like it if I was on a waterbed. Went all the way into my 30s
Relieved it's Friday. I've got to commute today for one meeting at office but then straight home, and next week is pretty light on meetings so can wfh most days and catch up with project admin and progression. Lot of people on holidays this time of year so things can be quieter even though the cogs don't stop turning...