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How Are You Feeling Right Now?
- Thread starter UNREGISTERED0000
- Start date
I can’t shake the bad mood after some racist comments of my parents’ neighbours.
(Mini rant coming)
This is Poland, it’s normal to be racist/xenophobic/anti-other-religious-people-except-christians and assume that I am as well, so they were logically surprised at my response.
It’s normal to have a demonstration in the capital city against racism with 100 people, while over 80 cities all around have huge ones against immigrants (literally the day I arrived).
It’s normal to have a guy on the main square shouting that your suffering doesn’t matter, have you seen HIS suffering for you?! When was the last time you freaking opened a Bible?! (Yes, he was not gentle at all)
Such a beautiful country… I hate my Polish origins. I hate ignorance. I am not a hateful person, dammit, but it’s so hard.
(Mini rant coming)
This is Poland, it’s normal to be racist/xenophobic/anti-other-religious-people-except-christians and assume that I am as well, so they were logically surprised at my response.
It’s normal to have a demonstration in the capital city against racism with 100 people, while over 80 cities all around have huge ones against immigrants (literally the day I arrived).
It’s normal to have a guy on the main square shouting that your suffering doesn’t matter, have you seen HIS suffering for you?! When was the last time you freaking opened a Bible?! (Yes, he was not gentle at all)
Such a beautiful country… I hate my Polish origins. I hate ignorance. I am not a hateful person, dammit, but it’s so hard.
I've hit a wall for now (pun intended) My builder guy is on holiday, said he'd be in touch when he got back. So all I can do is wait, really. No point trying to roll the dice with a totally unknown new builder guy who might be less trustworthy or reliable or try to charge stupid money. At least he's done work for me before and is a nice chap. Bit rough round the edges, but beggars can't be choosers, and he was the best value out of anyone who got in touch - most didn't even bother to turn up.
F*ing impatient to start feeling better, mildly down on myself for not having done more to make it happen but at the same time I my habits of basic self care have improved. I don't feel better, just not worse and that's not enough anymore. It's stupid to over-think these things, I have work to do and my mind is getting in its own way. Again.
Jesus said "if they persecuted me, they will persecute you also". And that is exactly what my family does to me daily when they see that I am reading my Bible, watching Christian movies/documentaries or Christian videos on YouTube. Every day, they say, "Is that about God again? Why don't you have any other interests? Why do you keep doing these same things?" And frankly, I'm getting tired of giving them the same answer over and over again. Because I love God. Because I want to. Because I want to feel as close to Him as possible. And then they also say that I am supposedly neglecting them by doing these things. May they understand someday. In Jesus' mighty name.
Baffled, I have been in touch with coworkers and looks like there may be a system wide glitch that has temporarily revoked our access. Thing is we don't know, we could have just been let go as there's no grand redundancy process with these contracting jobs, just one minute you're in a lucrative position, then quiet-fired overnight. So will have to see what happens server-wide in the morning. I went out for a midnight walk, I always find it peaceful walking the dark empty streets with everyone asleep. The occasional yell or baby crying. Feels surreal but I kind of like it.
