-
IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT: Please read THIS THREAD about a rebrand for SF.
How Are You Feeling Right Now?
- Thread starter UNREGISTERED0000
- Start date
Im older now and keep thinking of the reasons why my daughter won't talk to me. I can't undo the past. The truth is that I really don't know what her beef is with me because she's never said, we haven't talked about it. But it hurts to lose your first born. I have suspicions why things are the way they are, maybe my mothers intuition.
Shocked and sad. I don't think my nervous system can take much more. 2 days ago I had a dream I was at a famous person's funeral. Ten minutes ago I learned they actually just died today. First it was the house shit on Sunday, then work pulled the rug from under me, now the rock star who was the first gig I ever went to as an anxious teenager, is dead. It just keeps fucking pouring on.
I'm sorry your feeling sad about it. I think though he had a really good running, especially for manging to do the goodbye show a few weeks ago, which looked amazing. I sometimes think it's good or at least better when stars like that go out like this, on a high, not on a low, like gene hackman, I was horrified by that.
Yeah there is that. I remember trying emulate him when I read he was drinking 8 bottles of wine and a bottle of whiskey a day....Amazing life and longevity considering. My other rock idol at the time, Phil Lynott, died when I was 15, in a really bad state in his 30s (wow, now some 40 years ago). I remember listening to an Ozzy interview saying he would have been dead long ago if he'd touched heroin (like many others) but for some reason he never did. Very cool he got to do his farewell gig.
Fucking sad. It’s my most consistent emotion. I could be angry or even mirthful for a while, but sadness eventually pushes it back and dominates my mood. I don’t have the patience as I once did to tolerate my miserable, unchanging state of affairs, and I have no idea how I did it in years past.
I tell my secondary psychiatrist that I haven’t had any “dangerous thoughts,” but despite my ostensibly low PHQ-9 scores, of course I fucking believe that I’m “better off dead or hurting myself in some way” all the damn time. Yeah, Spravato helps my depression for a day or two, but it doesn’t change how I’ve felt and seen myself over the last decade or so of my life.
I’m hurting so much that I’m reconsidering self-harm as a coping mechanism. Nothing else is really doing it for me anymore. At the very least, I wouldn’t make the same mistakes as I did in my early 20s.
I tell my secondary psychiatrist that I haven’t had any “dangerous thoughts,” but despite my ostensibly low PHQ-9 scores, of course I fucking believe that I’m “better off dead or hurting myself in some way” all the damn time. Yeah, Spravato helps my depression for a day or two, but it doesn’t change how I’ve felt and seen myself over the last decade or so of my life.
I’m hurting so much that I’m reconsidering self-harm as a coping mechanism. Nothing else is really doing it for me anymore. At the very least, I wouldn’t make the same mistakes as I did in my early 20s.
I have a psychiatrist appointment tomorrow, where im a bit nervous about it. Im going to tell them about my method but im really nervous about it. And i am nervous how the appointment is going to go. Will it be useful or not.
Im just feeling like ive had enough now, the one person i put my faith into thinks in evil and is treating that way.
Its really upsetting to me to do nice things and be super considerate only to be made out to be something the complete opposite.
Im just feeling like ive had enough now, the one person i put my faith into thinks in evil and is treating that way.
Its really upsetting to me to do nice things and be super considerate only to be made out to be something the complete opposite.
It's understandable you are struggling in the face of this kind of treatment. I hope the psych can help in some way. You deserve to feel better than this.
Tired. Different shit, different day. I've just been trying to roll with the punches. This was the week I was going to initiate some medical saga but now my symptoms have decided to start receding. Not perfect by any means, but had some times when I've been moving and realised I wasn't thinking about my leg. Not had any weird migratory sensations since the weekend. Have to deal with the house issue, complicated by the fact some of it might be getting caused by the work the previous roofer did. As that company seems to have declared itself closed I'm probably screwed - they won't honour their "5 year guarantee" and what's the point of changing my review to an essay of tradesmen poor ethics when they have already probably changed their name to another company and starting the whole scam again. 🤷♂️