How Are You Feeling Right Now?

[TragicReality]

I almost decided today, to give up on finding a ''romantic'' partner. I'd like a male friend to do things with, the other stuff involved, no not much. I'm getting older, some feelings and desires fade. Yet, just to have someone to hug would be nice.

Otherwise I'm ok, found out my aunt that i finally visited at her daughters home is in a retirement home now, so I saw her and we had a nice talk. I know she'd rather be in her own home or back the way things were, but she says ''I pray and I know God is with me here'' , and I said yes, you have that and you are safe.

It's true, I told her she's my favourtie aunt. I do only have one other aunt left, but it's not that. This aunt, during my childhood, was so kind and would call on birthdays, tell me she loves me and prays for me. She is so kind. I'm glad she's close to where I live, and I'll go back, maybe bring her a digital clock that reads the date and time, I told her I forget what day it is sometimes too. I watered plants at the cemetery, we haven't had rain in a long time. Not a bad day at all. Time for bed.

 

[1964dodge]

i am very glad that you had a good visit with your aunt, it's nice of you to visit. i'm sorry that you are still looking for a partner but please don't give up. there are many ways to find a companion . i hope you have a very good day

mike....

 

[chiastic_slide]

Feeling physically weighed down.

Support person for taking care of the practical things in an hour.

Check in with psychiatry in five hours.

I have even less language than usual. Feeling unsure which grammar and words belong to which language.

 

[1964dodge]

I'm ok. I've had the same few dresses for a long time. I don't go get expensive clothes, but a couple of new dresses and a pair of sandals helps. My younger is still in the ''i hate you'' mode, I dropped off what he had and he accused me of not giving him something, it wasn't here. I know he got it together before he left a while ago. I don't necessarily love church, but it's the only thing I know right now to dress up a bit and see a few familiar faces, so I plan on going tomorrow. Hopefully I feel good enough to sit, it's a long time we sit there.

i'm sorry that things are still difficult with your son but stay the course and hopefully he will eventually start to act more mature and treat you with respect. as for missing items i have an option for you. when my kids move out or leave somethig here i have a simple rule : after 30 days it belongs to me. of course if i have it i'll still return it. this prevents them claiming they left something we can't find or them claimig something is theirs when it belongs to me. it's rare that i had to do this but it saved arguments a couple of times

mike.....

 

[1964dodge]

Yay. I love it when the bad no longer matters and the good comes along.

thanks @Aurelia

mike....

 

[1964dodge]

Yesterday was better, thank you.

Mikaela….

you're welcome

mike....

 

[1964dodge]

Better today than yesterday. Yesterday I was pretty off and out. Not sure if it was a bug or just tired from lack of sleep, damn 'skeeters. LOL Laid on the couch at 3:00 pm and napped until 8:00 pm.

i'm glad that you're feeling better

mike....

 

[1964dodge]

Feeling physically weighed down.

Support person for taking care of the practical things in an hour.

Check in with psychiatry in five hours.

I have even less language than usual. Feeling unsure which grammar and words belong to which language.

 

[1964dodge]

i am actually doing pretty damned good today

mike

 

[Lane]

Better today than yesterday. Yesterday I was pretty off and out. Not sure if it was a bug or just tired from lack of sleep, damn 'skeeters. LOL Laid on the couch at 3:00 pm and napped until 8:00 pm.

Naps are the best. Hope youre feeling better today.

 

[Lane]

I'm feeling that I don't want to learn any more complicated emotional dances.

So true seabird, my motto is "no drama".

 

[Lane]

Looking forward to starting this therapy for the borderline, not because im wanting to move on from the previous relationship but because thinking about it all the time is killing me. Had a terrible idea, that maybe if they read some of my posts here they would see how much I do care and want to be with them. But I don't think that's a good idea, Im careful not to disclose any identifying personal information here but it's a safe place for me, so I should keep it to myself as such.

I hope your therapy goes well Inastorm. I understand how you feel, that if they knew how much you cared they would come around.

 

[Lane]

Had a decent weekend of meeting a coworker/friend for lunch and browsing through thrift shops and the beach on Sunday. I find when I'm busy I'm less anxious and depressed. Hope everyone here is doing as well as possible and have a good week SF friends.

 

[AvidFan]

Middling. I seem to be avoiding the worst of the storm. I managed to get a few hours of sleep last night. Still woke up too early, but I wasn't up at 3am wondering what I could do to make myself sleep. Reinstated therapeutic dose of amitriptyline after trying to get off the crap for months, but it might be helping to stabilise things a little. I'll worry about it later, when the rebound from the other crap is fully gone. Still getting some anxious moments and am tired. But I'm not at the level I was on Friday with panic, rage and feeling completely dead.

 

[AvidFan]

I hope your therapy goes well Inastorm. I understand how you feel, that if they knew how much you cared they would come around.

Yes hope it helps @Inastorm

 

[Inastorm]

Yes hope it helps @Inastorm

It's very windy where I am, how are you doing?

 

[AvidFan]

It's very windy where I am, how are you doing?

Seems pretty quiet. Mind you I play white noise all day to drown out external sounds. It's definitely raining hard. Am trying to not even look at the house stuff as I have to stay in one piece to get through work today. If work collapses, everything collapses. It's supposed to stop raining soon. I did look out and the bins are still upright, at least one usually goes over if it gets very gusty. In other words, I'm trying to bury my head in the sand indoors, for now. Feel calmer than I have in days so just need to stabilise a bit.

 

[AvidFan]

Made it to the office. So far so good - no dizziness, nausea or panic like last week. Hopefully doing nothing this weekend has recharged my battery just a bit, but am aware I can do a few hours work and then implode again if I push it, so need to monitor and just do the bare minimum I can to get through the day. Think I'll get some food while I have an hour to spare.

 

[Inastorm]

Well it was soo windy today. I was off from work as a day off, where they closed the local town anyway. I though my roof was going to get blown off, so I was shitting it. I packed a few things together and waited on alert most of the day, ready to do a runner if I needed to. Thought you might find that funny @AvidFan considering I was all cool about the impending storm yesterday.

 

[Windhover]

No energy today, can't allow myself to care about the problems of my life. I encourage others to take care of mental health long before it gets to this point.