I'm ok. It's sort of a holiday today, not mandatory. I tried calling my brother, even though I told myself I'm not calling either my sister or brother until they call me, I think I'd be waiting for months or more if I didn't. Brother must be off work for today as well as Friday. I noticed pics, my sons friend, on FB, my older son isn't on there or has blocked me. I hope he has had a great time at the beach they went to. I had actually thought of going to that beach myself, but it's the busiest beach around where I live. He must have taken his drone to take pictures, I can see how many people are packed in there. Then there was a picture of him with his friends sitting around a fire. I'm happy for him.
Different for my younger. So sad. He's hating me. He does need help. He yelled his unaliving himself, he texted it too, so I did what I felt I had to. I called the police. I just said to myself, I'm staying awake and praying that finally they see through his lies that he's ok and doesn't mean it. He means it. He said he'd < mod edit - method >, and that he was banned from our drug store. I know him, he might have stolen some < mod edit - method >. I got a call back, that didn't go through, even as I was talking to the police the call dropped, i have the worst cell service here. They called back and I explained it all. I noticed later in the early morning that they had tried to call me back.
Then when I woke up my son yelled again on the phone. I assume they saw him and he lies to avoid going to the hospital. He can't smoke weed and that keeps him from getting the help he so desperately needs. I even texted the proof to the officer, he's helpful, I had him before. He said did he say anything in a text, then email it to me. I guess that wasn't even enough? for them to force him at all. They've told me that before, if they drive up to him, ask him how he is, he'll say he didn't mean it and they have to leave him alone. It's a messed up system now.
When I was 20 my sister pulled a real stunt on me. I didn't utter a word of wanting to unalive myself. She lied to police, they forced me and restrained me in a rough way. Why is the system this broken now? They had all the proof they needed, he said I'm going to be mod edit - method > ..... how do they get away from not bringing him to a doctor at the hospital and show the doctor what he said??? I'm angry at the system. I'm not angry at the officer, they have to do whatever their chief says. But I'm angry that even written proof of a plan to kill themself isn't enough??? I prayed for hours, saying please Father, let that doctor see through the lie of my son saying he's ok and get him a bed in a hospital and help. Nope. Just ''I hate you !! '' and way more, yelling through the phone at me this morning. Why? Why did I get help when I didn't even need it, and he doesn't?? It's like our health system is completely broken.
Now that i have my car, my license back after my medical, I'm going to do what this officer said before. I can go to a court in a city near here, and present my proof that my son needs to be in a hospital, then let the judge decide hopefully in my favour that yes my son needs psychiatric care. I could barely function myself this past winter. Now that I'm better I'll do what it takes to help my son, I know he'll hate me for that too, but it's better than him being and feeling alone. I can't have him back here. He assaulted me again. He's wrecked the outside of my car again. I hurt for him, but the more I hear these awful names he calls me, the more I think, but I love you, why can't he see that I tried everything I can to help? He's an adult, I may not live long, then who will help him? I remind him gently that yes I'm his mom and I love him but I won't be here forever to help. He needs to stand on his own 2 feet. I can't give him $, I stopped that long ago, it was food and my couch and no money because he said he knows where to get mod edit - method >. I'm sorry this got long. I need it out of me. I don't get it, I pray earnestly, and my prayers seem to never be heard. I know my son needs to want the help, but i cant think that it's my fault. I did everything i can, and i can't let him back here, I cant support him financially either. I have, then he sells what he gets for weed or drugs. anyone hear that prays, please say a prayer for my younger son. thank you.
Different for my younger. So sad. He's hating me. He does need help. He yelled his unaliving himself, he texted it too, so I did what I felt I had to. I called the police. I just said to myself, I'm staying awake and praying that finally they see through his lies that he's ok and doesn't mean it. He means it. He said he'd < mod edit - method >, and that he was banned from our drug store. I know him, he might have stolen some < mod edit - method >. I got a call back, that didn't go through, even as I was talking to the police the call dropped, i have the worst cell service here. They called back and I explained it all. I noticed later in the early morning that they had tried to call me back.
Then when I woke up my son yelled again on the phone. I assume they saw him and he lies to avoid going to the hospital. He can't smoke weed and that keeps him from getting the help he so desperately needs. I even texted the proof to the officer, he's helpful, I had him before. He said did he say anything in a text, then email it to me. I guess that wasn't even enough? for them to force him at all. They've told me that before, if they drive up to him, ask him how he is, he'll say he didn't mean it and they have to leave him alone. It's a messed up system now.
When I was 20 my sister pulled a real stunt on me. I didn't utter a word of wanting to unalive myself. She lied to police, they forced me and restrained me in a rough way. Why is the system this broken now? They had all the proof they needed, he said I'm going to be mod edit - method > ..... how do they get away from not bringing him to a doctor at the hospital and show the doctor what he said??? I'm angry at the system. I'm not angry at the officer, they have to do whatever their chief says. But I'm angry that even written proof of a plan to kill themself isn't enough??? I prayed for hours, saying please Father, let that doctor see through the lie of my son saying he's ok and get him a bed in a hospital and help. Nope. Just ''I hate you !! '' and way more, yelling through the phone at me this morning. Why? Why did I get help when I didn't even need it, and he doesn't?? It's like our health system is completely broken.
Now that i have my car, my license back after my medical, I'm going to do what this officer said before. I can go to a court in a city near here, and present my proof that my son needs to be in a hospital, then let the judge decide hopefully in my favour that yes my son needs psychiatric care. I could barely function myself this past winter. Now that I'm better I'll do what it takes to help my son, I know he'll hate me for that too, but it's better than him being and feeling alone. I can't have him back here. He assaulted me again. He's wrecked the outside of my car again. I hurt for him, but the more I hear these awful names he calls me, the more I think, but I love you, why can't he see that I tried everything I can to help? He's an adult, I may not live long, then who will help him? I remind him gently that yes I'm his mom and I love him but I won't be here forever to help. He needs to stand on his own 2 feet. I can't give him $, I stopped that long ago, it was food and my couch and no money because he said he knows where to get mod edit - method >. I'm sorry this got long. I need it out of me. I don't get it, I pray earnestly, and my prayers seem to never be heard. I know my son needs to want the help, but i cant think that it's my fault. I did everything i can, and i can't let him back here, I cant support him financially either. I have, then he sells what he gets for weed or drugs. anyone hear that prays, please say a prayer for my younger son. thank you.
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