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How Are You Feeling Right Now?
- Thread starter UNREGISTERED0000
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the hallucinations have been getting way worse the last couple months. worse than ever. my entire world keeps getting brutally torn apart and the pieces get put back together in a completely random order where nothing fits together. i haven't felt anything but fear, confusion and dehumanizing discomfort for i don't fvcking know how long.
Stomach problems. Makes my head so tired, can’t think, can’t do anything. Had to go off the medication for the stomach since the it started to lose effect. Hope this is a rebound effect and it will even out. But it feels very familiar, how it used to be for a long time before I took omeprazole everyday. Feels hopeless.
Being able to recognize/realize it, it a huge step. It doesn't matter if you realized it 300 days into it or 1 day into it. It is just as big of a step either way. Be proud of that accomplishment and give yourself grace. Both of those will help you in your fight against it. The kinder you are to yourself, the easier it will be to fight.
Hugs if you would like them
Hugs if you would like them
It was a brief flash of insight which would've been easy to miss. Negative thoughts come and go very fast but change my brain and ruin energy. Yesterday I challenged them and then went outside for my run. When I got back I felt proud and started to doubt that, and then decided it's valid.. Maybe my little practice of mindfulness is paying off.
Your words are an affirmation of what I somehow managed to do - thank you @AmberMarie .
Hugs always help and are much appreciated.
I hope your health issues are improving and you're feeling a bit better.
Your words are an affirmation of what I somehow managed to do - thank you @AmberMarie .
Hugs always help and are much appreciated.
I hope your health issues are improving and you're feeling a bit better.
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I know what your talking about re: questioning the validity of my insights or successes. My therapist closes every session with a "homework" assignment which is to stop and take notice any time I feel good (as in cheerful, have a success no matter how small, and/or safe). Reading about your uncertainty regarding the validity of your feeling good about this flash reminded me that we both (I think, I know for me at least) tend to be harder on ourselves than is necessary or productive. Given this bias, maybe any time we have the opposite experience of feeling proud of a good decision or behavior is valid and worthy of a tiny celebration.
In my meditation community (sangha), we have a saying that developing our skills and wisdom consists of "tiny glimpses, many times." When you get a flash of insight, even if it goes away almost immediately, you have still learned something.
In my meditation community (sangha), we have a saying that developing our skills and wisdom consists of "tiny glimpses, many times." When you get a flash of insight, even if it goes away almost immediately, you have still learned something.
I'm feeling frustrated, hurt, and powerless. I'm trying to puzzle out why I keep getting myself into bad situations through my gullibility and/or naivety. There's a saying somewhere that life makes us repeat certain lessons until we learn them. And in my experience, these situations get more intense every time, as if life is turning up the volume until we are paying attention.
The thing for me is that I thought that I had learned the lesson, and yet I still find myself targeted by people and companies that see me as a "mark" to be bullied, harmed, and exploited for their sick satisfaction. I'm so angry that I want to go on a revenge spree, but giving in to that would make me no better than them. I understand that growth only happens when we get out of our comfort zone. I also am beginning to suspect that depression and doubt also happen if we are unwillingly kept out of our comfort zone for too long. That's how I feel right now.
The thing for me is that I thought that I had learned the lesson, and yet I still find myself targeted by people and companies that see me as a "mark" to be bullied, harmed, and exploited for their sick satisfaction. I'm so angry that I want to go on a revenge spree, but giving in to that would make me no better than them. I understand that growth only happens when we get out of our comfort zone. I also am beginning to suspect that depression and doubt also happen if we are unwillingly kept out of our comfort zone for too long. That's how I feel right now.