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How Are You Feeling Right Now?
- Thread starter UNREGISTERED0000
- Start date
Right now I’m depressed to the point that I keep going back to bed every time I get out of it. I know what I need to do, and I want to get it done. But it’s like I don’t have any energy, willpower, or belief in my own self efficacy. I would ideally be dead. The result of my continued inaction puts me in a place worse than death. I’m already in a place worse than death, but that doesn’t mean it can’t get even worse later.
Welcome to capitalism- I had naively thought that people who were drawn to a helping profession like nursing would be doing it for noble motives, as in they need to make money, but they also have an intrinsic motivation to help hurting people get better.
I have seen such nurses in other settings, such as when I needed surgery. I failed to anticipate that patients in a vulnerable position could expect no such dignity or even kindness.
I paid dearly for my optimism, and if I can warn off others to expect nothing more than confinement in an inpatient crisis facility, then that would make my continued traumatic reactions less severe.
FWIW - the same dynamic plays out in substance abuse rehab, foster care, and nursing homes. Basically if you are in a position where someone else decides whether you can leave or not, you are jailed, no matter how slick a marketing campaign the company puts out.
I have seen such nurses in other settings, such as when I needed surgery. I failed to anticipate that patients in a vulnerable position could expect no such dignity or even kindness.
I paid dearly for my optimism, and if I can warn off others to expect nothing more than confinement in an inpatient crisis facility, then that would make my continued traumatic reactions less severe.
FWIW - the same dynamic plays out in substance abuse rehab, foster care, and nursing homes. Basically if you are in a position where someone else decides whether you can leave or not, you are jailed, no matter how slick a marketing campaign the company puts out.
I’m in trouble. I have gotten out of bed, but the intrusive thoughts are crazy making! I can’t make decisions, even about what to wear today, because there is so much static from the automatic thoughts on repeat. Think I’ll go pump myself full of coffee until I can convert my sadness and pain into anger. At least then I could do something.
JFC. How do I stop this? I am trying to remember my strategies and now I’m out getting lunch and the list I wrote down is on my laptop at home. I feel like I do everything in the least efficient way possible, and everything takes twice as long as it should. Crap. I am just in a bad mood and everything feels overwhelming.
I agree with breaking things into smaller steps until manageable. However, I also think that we build confidence by doing things. I have a friend who is fond of saying that, “action is the antidote to despair.” I think it’s a quote, but I forget the author atm. It is hit or miss when I try it. I think it works when the trouble is purely in the mind. It’s less reliable if I am also physically compromised, e.g., fighting off an illness or my sleep is disordered.
I wonder if I could visit, lol. It’s been as high as 30 degrees above average for this time of year where I live. Today is only 8 warmer than average, but that’s still more than warm enough that I have to think twice about using my air fryer. I ran the damn A/C at least four days in the past week, and it’s late December. I should be running the heat, but like I said I don’t even want to cook indoors.
It's a good one, that quote. I just looked it up, and the internet says it's attributed to an activist named Joan Baez. When I (or any person I mean) has a sense of a task being too huge, it's helpful to remind myself of how good it feels to even start making progress.
Usually I feel the lowest just after I finish a list with the steps I'll have to take all bullet-pointed and taunting me. Getting some coffee in me and then creating a logical, practical list is the actually the first step, and it gives my brain an abstract arc of the goal. However it's only after I have the next one or two things on the list done that I get a little pay-off of optimism and a sense of banked energy.
Usually I feel the lowest just after I finish a list with the steps I'll have to take all bullet-pointed and taunting me. Getting some coffee in me and then creating a logical, practical list is the actually the first step, and it gives my brain an abstract arc of the goal. However it's only after I have the next one or two things on the list done that I get a little pay-off of optimism and a sense of banked energy.
As much as I worried about retirement the worst part is coming true. I am not busy enough after Christmas to be okay. I have signed up for some classes but they don’t start until February. I’m sitting here today waiting until I can leave for New Year’s Eve activities. Watching old episodes of law and order. I applied for a job this morning. I’m having trouble.
oh no - boredom is really a struggle for me, too. I wish I had suggestions, but to be fair I have not had to suffer boredom since I transitioned from child to self-supporting adult (which was around age 16 but whatever). I'm currently unemployed and I can hardly find time to job search. There's just so much housework that has to be done, because I have to have a clean place to job search in 
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