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How Are You Feeling Right Now?
- Thread starter UNREGISTERED0000
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Whatever the diagnosis is, we're here for you @SillyOldBear.
Utterly terrible. I'm breaking down in tears. Not over anything in particular. It's just that the pain is so much that I don't know how I'm able to stand it. I think I'm cracking. If I can't figure a way through this, I might just break entirely. I'm already having increasingly frequent bouts of de-realization. It's tiring - I've been sleeping no less than 11 hours each of the past 3 nights. I'm desperately lonely, but I can't imagine that anyone would want anything to do with me, being that I'm an unemployed middle aged guy with limited social skills.
There's also the desperation, which comes out involuntarily; I'm afraid to end conversations although I don't have anything interesting to say, being that I don't do much more than sit on my bed and beat myself up for how thoroughly I fucked my life up since my partner died. It's been almost 10 years now but I'm still living like he's just long distance and we will have a visit soon. It's crazy, and it's sad, and it's keeping me stuck. I have nothing of value to offer.
There's also the desperation, which comes out involuntarily; I'm afraid to end conversations although I don't have anything interesting to say, being that I don't do much more than sit on my bed and beat myself up for how thoroughly I fucked my life up since my partner died. It's been almost 10 years now but I'm still living like he's just long distance and we will have a visit soon. It's crazy, and it's sad, and it's keeping me stuck. I have nothing of value to offer.
Lumberjack, simple human company and a friendly face can do remarkably good things when someone is fighting through the dark. Someone who can and will sit with you through the worst, understand, be calm, kind and a rock. Why?
They have BEEN there. I've been that for some of my friends, a relative has been for me. There is NO such thing as a straight line when it comes to mental health issues and recovery, please believe that. If it's taken almost ten years and you have limited social skills and are unemployed? I'm Signed Off as a result of mental health issues dating back to the Pandemic. I haven't been able to do anything more than voluntary work and mental health courses in all that time. I am not just unemployed, I cannot work and am a middle-aged man with few if any prospects. If that was all there was to me? I might as well wave the White Flag to life now.
But it's not, because there will always be people out there who will value us, who need us. There will always be things worthwhile doing that we can help with. There will always be something for you.
Sadly, finding it is the key. But if you don't try? You'll never know.
Good luck.
They have BEEN there. I've been that for some of my friends, a relative has been for me. There is NO such thing as a straight line when it comes to mental health issues and recovery, please believe that. If it's taken almost ten years and you have limited social skills and are unemployed? I'm Signed Off as a result of mental health issues dating back to the Pandemic. I haven't been able to do anything more than voluntary work and mental health courses in all that time. I am not just unemployed, I cannot work and am a middle-aged man with few if any prospects. If that was all there was to me? I might as well wave the White Flag to life now.
But it's not, because there will always be people out there who will value us, who need us. There will always be things worthwhile doing that we can help with. There will always be something for you.
Sadly, finding it is the key. But if you don't try? You'll never know.
Good luck.
I very much relate @LumberJack. I'm so sorry you're down in this kind of swamp too. My post would've been similar, though I have some sort of block to crying. I hope you are taking care of yourself, keeping some movement, food, cleaning up and the like.
You were just a child, @I_waste_everything 
I am. I have been exercising 3x90min of cardio a week since mid-February. I’m turning up the resistance level on the same machine so that gives me an indication that I’m getting stronger.
For a while there I was not feeling hunger or thirst, but that’s back now. I’m still having to eat super slowly. I’m reducing my reliance on super processed foods in favor of produce, albeit pretty much bananas and the occasional apple, or a smoothie with frozen fruit. I had been doing well with keeping my apartment clean, up until Monday. Since then I’ve been intending to do the cleaning up every day, but I’m exhausted before I can get around to it.
For a while there I was not feeling hunger or thirst, but that’s back now. I’m still having to eat super slowly. I’m reducing my reliance on super processed foods in favor of produce, albeit pretty much bananas and the occasional apple, or a smoothie with frozen fruit. I had been doing well with keeping my apartment clean, up until Monday. Since then I’ve been intending to do the cleaning up every day, but I’m exhausted before I can get around to it.
I think this is tangential to your main point, but how do you live without working? As in shelter, food, medical care, etc?
I’m stressing so much right now because my lease renews in 2.5 months and I need to be able to show income of 2x my rent to renew. I’m living off early withdrawals from my IRA rolled over from my 401K, but I have at most 2 months or I’m down to couch surfing with relatives.
I’m stressing so much right now because my lease renews in 2.5 months and I need to be able to show income of 2x my rent to renew. I’m living off early withdrawals from my IRA rolled over from my 401K, but I have at most 2 months or I’m down to couch surfing with relatives.
