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How Are You Feeling Right Now?
- Thread starter UNREGISTERED0000
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Made it back from the out of hours GP. Another Saturday spoiled (spent last one ill in bed). Got some more antibiotics but don't feel any relief - just feel exhausted by the constant logistics of managing multiple health conditions. Tomorrow I really need to tidy the house then it's back to work. Am going to go to bed as I just have no motivation or energy to do anything with what's left of Saturday night. Something inside me is dying and it's not necessarily the bacteria.
I feel worthless. I know that I have a lot to offer in both social and professional relationships. I’m missing something more fundamental, though. I’m only rarely aware that I need to, or more importantly, can change something before it blows up in my face.
I feel worthless because I don’t have anything to offer if I can barely summon enough executive function to even be ready to leave the apartment.
It’s exhausting and painful. The kicker is that I see myself doing this! I could choose differently but in the moment I feel like I can catch up later. I’m actually losing entire days because my thoughts are racing so much that I’m skeptical that I could drive safely. I’m too far up in my head. The intrusive thoughts are like death by a thousand tiny cuts.
I feel worthless because I don’t have anything to offer if I can barely summon enough executive function to even be ready to leave the apartment.
It’s exhausting and painful. The kicker is that I see myself doing this! I could choose differently but in the moment I feel like I can catch up later. I’m actually losing entire days because my thoughts are racing so much that I’m skeptical that I could drive safely. I’m too far up in my head. The intrusive thoughts are like death by a thousand tiny cuts.
I'm sad you are in this sort of place LumberJack. You've described what often happens within me.
I still feel strongly about your potential to lift out of this, and to get to a more stable and joyful place. I feel almost as though writing this is wrong because I certainly have not proved it to myself. I just mean that I'm sending support.
I still feel strongly about your potential to lift out of this, and to get to a more stable and joyful place. I feel almost as though writing this is wrong because I certainly have not proved it to myself. I just mean that I'm sending support.
Overwhelmed. Sad. Sick. Hopeless. Ashamed. I am sorry for the burdens we carry.
Marrying someone is exciting. A day you plan & prepare for. It’s having a bestie to spend life with. To make a life with. It’s not all fun and games. Bad days happen. You have failures. You lean into the vows you made to rebuild & redefine the relationship. Unfortunately, it takes both partners to want a marriage.. it can feel impossible. .
Marrying someone is exciting. A day you plan & prepare for. It’s having a bestie to spend life with. To make a life with. It’s not all fun and games. Bad days happen. You have failures. You lean into the vows you made to rebuild & redefine the relationship. Unfortunately, it takes both partners to want a marriage.. it can feel impossible. .
I hit post before I was done. 
The previous post include some thoughts for you @nicktheundoer
anything specific you wonder about?
The previous post include some thoughts for you @nicktheundoer
anything specific you wonder about?
I hit post before I was done.
The previous post include some thoughts for you @nicktheundoer
anything specific you wonder about?
The previous post include some thoughts for you @nicktheundoer
anything specific you wonder about?
Am awake and alive. Vitals are OK. The blood panel on my test strip is reacting less strongly, so the mega starting dose of pivmecillinam is likely working under the hood even if not obvious at a macro level just yet. I really need to do some tidying of my house, after 3 months of injury, illness and trying to keep my work going at all costs, the entropy around me is a little bit extreme. But probably not as bad as those places you see on the TV with mice living in the television and towers of stacked pizza boxes forming a labyrinth....
i keep saying that I look forward to my kitty dying so i can travel without a cat sitter. But i know the house will feel empty because the only time i didn't live with a cat was 40 years ago in a dorm room. I know I will get another cat; an older cat since I don't want it to outlive me. but grief takes time.