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I've been trying since I was 9. I am now 25. Just in the last 2 yrs its been 6 maybe 8 times. Since I was 9 its been probably 50+. It surprises me sometimes that I'm still here. But right now I'm glad because of my nephew.
several as a teen and a halfhearted one in my twenties but it took me to reach my 30s for suicidal ideation to really take hold for me, and to really think and plan it.......I have always wished I was not here anymore, i have always hated myself but now i am in a postion to finally do something constructive!
I had about 15 attempts. Only 4 were real serious. When I was younger I believe I was just crying out for help. As I get older the more serious they become. The last attempt about a 1 1/2 years ago was pretty close to succeeding. I guess I'm lucky to still be here, doesn't always feel that way.
Planning it since weeks, thinking about it nearly all day. But I am not sure if I will ever be able to really realise it. Feeling stuck between two hurricane like primal forces.
All I am sure is that I would wish it would be over, silent.
No overt attempts, but for a while I was deliberately reckless with a sort of deathwish. I think one time in 2013 I succeeded, as I overdosed and was "gone" for some time to a place that was not of this world, like in an NDE.