Once I've had a drunken moment of inspiration, when I really did do something to myself that I wanted to result in death and that could have resulted in death. But it just ended with seven hours of constant vomiting. Nobody in any way close to me has ever found out or had a clue. This was February, last year. Before that and after that I've felt suicidal countless times, but I will never again want to attempt suicide.
Twice. My second attempt was almost successful if my mother didn't found out. I did in a hurry. Suicide should not be hurry. It needs careful planning. I will surely succeed next time. I can't live with these unbearable pain of my life forever.