... or how to help a friend who doesn't want to be helped? Two options. I don't mean someone who refuses any sort of solution or believes they are doomed no matter what. I mean... someone who doesn't even know or accepts they're unhappy. Someone who's in complete denial of their own feelings and desires. Someone who has never lived, never felt real emotions. Someone who refuses to feel the positive emotions for fear of missing them, and the negative ones for fear of facing them.
The reason I'm writing all this is because this is a wonderful friend of mine, with a beautiful heart, and this affects me much more than it should. It will be a pretty self-centered post. This friend knows I care a lot about this/them, but what I would never tell them is how much, hence I'm writing this. It makes me sad every time we talk, but also when we don't. I get depressed over it, I cry, I get more frustrated than about my own problems, because it isn't my life, I cannot choose to change it, I have no control. I am powerless and not allowed to claim any power. I tried and tried and tried... We "argued" a few times (disagreed), but it's unfair of me. They have never hurt me or asked anything from me, I could as well disappear. They deny all their feelings anyway so they'd be as "fine" as they are. Yet I feel like the only person who cares about what happens to them, their wellbeing and their happiness. Their family doesn't care, they don't even care themselves. At all! Only a couple of times I've felt a tiny glimmer of hope when I thought they did, but it was an illusion, or quickly washed away by their extreme detachment.
I don't know what to do... I cannot control how much I want them to get better, I'll never be okay with their emotionless neutral bullsh*t state, I just can't. It's like watching someone torturing themselves for absolutely no reason, not even to feel something. I cannot control how it affects me, how it hurts, though deep down I don't want to stop caring either, I guess. I keep thinking that we can't be friends anymore, because if nothing changes, I'll always think and feel all of this, but apparently it's not so easy to stop a friendship that matters to both of us. At best they will get sick of hearing me and leave.
The reason I'm writing all this is because this is a wonderful friend of mine, with a beautiful heart, and this affects me much more than it should. It will be a pretty self-centered post. This friend knows I care a lot about this/them, but what I would never tell them is how much, hence I'm writing this. It makes me sad every time we talk, but also when we don't. I get depressed over it, I cry, I get more frustrated than about my own problems, because it isn't my life, I cannot choose to change it, I have no control. I am powerless and not allowed to claim any power. I tried and tried and tried... We "argued" a few times (disagreed), but it's unfair of me. They have never hurt me or asked anything from me, I could as well disappear. They deny all their feelings anyway so they'd be as "fine" as they are. Yet I feel like the only person who cares about what happens to them, their wellbeing and their happiness. Their family doesn't care, they don't even care themselves. At all! Only a couple of times I've felt a tiny glimmer of hope when I thought they did, but it was an illusion, or quickly washed away by their extreme detachment.
I don't know what to do... I cannot control how much I want them to get better, I'll never be okay with their emotionless neutral bullsh*t state, I just can't. It's like watching someone torturing themselves for absolutely no reason, not even to feel something. I cannot control how it affects me, how it hurts, though deep down I don't want to stop caring either, I guess. I keep thinking that we can't be friends anymore, because if nothing changes, I'll always think and feel all of this, but apparently it's not so easy to stop a friendship that matters to both of us. At best they will get sick of hearing me and leave.