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I’m not sure what to do. I feel really lost, confused, and scared.

BlueKoala

Well-Known Member
#1
Hey everyone. I haven’t had negative feelings this intense since November-December 2019, which is amazing, but...today it finally hit me again full force.
I feel like I’m going to fail at everything I do. Even though I try my best in school, I feel like I’ll fail — and my grades aren’t even that bad! They’re above average. But I STILL feel like I’ll fail. I also feel like I can’t accomplish anything in life.
I feel as though I need to be a perfect person or else I’ll be a heavy weight on my friends and family. I already barely tell them about my feelings, but a couple nights ago I accidentally let the door to my feelings open to my best friend (who is also my childhood friend) during a call when we were playing Minecraft. I started to insult myself out loud and I could tell she was sad after that. I felt so so guilty. I even apologized to her, and I apologized a lot after, and even after she said it was okay and that she’s happy that I’m opening up to her I still feel like I did something horrible. And now I can’t even talk to my friends right now because I feel like I’ll breakdown no matter who I talk to, not just her, so I said that I will be taking a break from talking to nearly everyone.
I just....I feel so horrible. I haven’t felt like this in a long time. (Also, even though this is an empathy thread, I’m still okay if you offer advice. I just need support a lot because I feel like everything is crashing down on me.) thank you for taking the time out of your day for reading all of that, sorry that it’s long
 
#2
Hugs BlueKoala
sorry that it’s long
Hey, it's not that long, it's ok.

Sorry that you're feeling so bad.
I feel like I’m going to fail at everything I do. Even though I try my best in school, I feel like I’ll fail — and my grades aren’t even that bad! They’re above average. But I STILL feel like I’ll fail
Is your family putting pressure on you?
even after she said it was okay and that she’s happy that I’m opening up to her I still feel like I did something horrible
Do you know why you feel that way?
 

BlueKoala

Well-Known Member
#3
Hugs BlueKoala

Hey, it's not that long, it's ok.

Sorry that you're feeling so bad.

Is your family putting pressure on you?

Do you know why you feel that way?
Well, when I was in middle school, my family put a lot of pressure on me to have good grades. Now, they don’t do that at all since I’m working really hard but...but now I’m the one that’s putting pressure on myself.

I think I feel that way because I feel like I need to always be happy (or at least to not express really negative feelings) in order for everyone to be happy. I feel like I need to act happy so that no one would be worried.
 

BlueKoala

Well-Known Member
#5
Part of being a real friend to someone is letting them help you when you need help. Not everyone is ready to be a real friend, but if the friend that you talked to is really ready to be that, you may be able to learn to accept help eventually.
That’s a good way to look at it. Thank you! You’re right. Plus, I’m sure that she’s only feel worse if I help her all the time but I refuse her help when she wants to help. Thank you!!
 

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