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I don't know what i'm doing anymore.

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New Member
okay, it is really hard for me to say so i thought typing it out would help...
I hate my life.
not in an angsty teen way, i just don't really feel like i want to be around anymore.
i have made so many lists trying to find positives in my life and reasons to not try to end everything...but i can only think of two things that keeps me going which are my friends and some family members.
The only reason i haven't tried to kill myself yet is because i saw what suicide did to my family when i was little and my uncle did it. I love my friends too much, so much that i am putting their well being over my own. I am not contributing anything to anything, the littlest of tasks stresses me out, i cry when i am asked to talk to people i don't know/talk in class. especially in school i can't seem to handle anything that comes my way and put it off which then becomes more and more stressful when it piles up and i get scolded my school guidence counciler told me to ''get over it''. Plus I have a mental illness and it really doesn't help anything. I just don't know, i can laugh and cry and feel happy and sad...but i can't seem to make them last. my feelings get lost and a lot of the time i am an empty shell. i have tried talking to a psychotherapist but that woman somehow made it worse. i have tried talking to my parents but they seem to think that whenever i see something that scares me that i'm trying to get out of something or say that ''it's too convenient'' or even ''i can't/ don't want to deal with this right now''. if it wasn't for my friends and those few family members i would have done it years ago. I just need to know i'm not the only one that feels this way. i need to know if there is a way for me to be happy. because right now i don't see anything.


Safety and Support
SF Supporter
Hi, and welcome to the forum.

I'm sorry to hear how you're feeling. I can tell you that you're not alone with this at all. And also, I'm happy to hear that you are trying to hold on; but you need to find some passions to live for as well. Do you have any hobbies you enjoy?

If you feel like you can't talk to your psychotherapist, would it be possible to find a new one? Maybe there could be someone you got better along with? Maybe you need some medication or if you're on any maybe they need to be changed?

Again, you're not alone with dealing with these things hun *hugs*

Know you are always welcome to use this forum, the chatroom and that my inbox is always open!


Well-Known Member
There are no one size fits all therapists. Finding the right one who gets you may take time.

Happiness is a fleeting thing as are all emotional responses. I decide finding peace was a better goal.

You obviously need someone to talk to. I don't know what options are available but try them all and more than once if necessary or possible.

My road with depression has been long because I waited to get help.

I strongly encourage you to seek help. Even going as far as showing up at your local er.
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