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I told my new boyfriend about my depression... and he DIDN'T DUMP ME :D

Arwen

Active Member
#1
Just wanted to make an update, in case anyone else struggles with this sort of thing. I posted a while ago about my ex-boyfriend who broke up with me a few months ago when i told him i was depressed when i was drunk, which caused him to sexually assault me and then break up with me in a really nasty way.

This naturally, made me think that anyone i told would freak out like he did, and not want to speak to me ever again. So i haven't told my parents or friends (except one close friend).

But I met someone else a month ago, and was terrified about being with someone new after what he did to me, but my current boyfriend is completely different from him, and one of the nicest people i have ever met. But everything happened really quickly, and we've both gone home for the summer (we were both at uni) so we're not going to see each other for a while, and he was going to pay £100 on a train ticket to come and see me in a month. I really like him, and wanted to be with him, but i felt like i was constantly lying about who i was when i hadn't told him i was depressed. And i didn't want to do what i did before, and not tell him, and then when i'd got to the stage when i was really emotionally involved and cared more about him, for him to find out and just dump me like my ex did. I guess i didn't want to waste his and my time, if he was going to do that, and i didn't want to go through that again.

So i told him. And he just listened, and then drew me closer.

When i told him i said i needed to be honest with him about something, and that i understood if that meant he wouldn't want to see me anymore. But he said why would he break up with me just because of that? I ended up crying and telling him all about my ex, and he said, just like my shrink did, that his behaviour was not normal, and that he sounds like an a**hole. I found it hard to believe my shrink when she told me that normal people would be unlikely to react that way, and i shouldn't be scared of telling other people. But i didn't believe it until i told him.

And just simply telling him has made me feel so much better! It's actually crazy how now i don't feel as much like there is something terribly wrong with me, and i think that it's really really going to help me build my confidence back up, and not feel as disgusted at myself for feeling this way.

If anyone else has experienced anything similar i would love to hear from you! Or if anyone has any similar problems I would love to just talk to you, and hopefully help if i can. Luckily my own experience has not been that bad, i know that many people with depression suffer through much more traumatic experiences with relationships, but i would like to help other people if i could.

I hope you're doing okay today:p have a great day, stay positive :D xxx
 

Singularity Platy

Well-Known Member
#4
I'm in a similar situation. My ex was pretty nasty. He cheated on me and posted a picture of my attempt on Facebook. After I left him I didn't get into any serious relationships for a while because I always felt ashamed of my depression and I was pretty convinced that no one would be able to take me since I was such a psycho. But then I found S. We were classmates but never talked much. But just suddenly one day we went out for a coffee and something clicked. Just like you in the very beginning I told him everything, about my eating disorder, depression, tendency to push people away, etc. It's been 6 months, and I have shown him some very dark dark moments, and he's still here. Reading your post reminds me of how lucky I am to have him. Unfortunately we're in a long-term distance relationship at the moment and I don't get to see him a lot. But he's always there on messenger. Sometimes I think he's the only reason why I'm still here.
 

SinisterKid

We either find a way, or make one.
SF Supporter
#5
Amazing story, thnx so much for sharing that with everyone, and I am so happy that things are working out for you.
 

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