s* It's ok to be selfish at times hun and be who you ''really'' are but this isn't one of those occasions. Please don't give up, you can make it through this without anyone being harmed, just keep talking to us here and i'm glad your TA sent you a compassionate e-mail today.
Petal said it a lot better than I could, as much as it's all right to be selfish, this isn't the time.
Please be 'selfish' in the way of getting help for YOU. Allow yourself to get help and move past this, become happy!