I haven't actually checked this thread since I originally posted it. :unsure:
LOL
Thank you all so much, you're so sweet. I should probably give you some context: I met someone that, in retrospect, could have been an excellent partner but because this person was financially and emotionally stable I said 'no' and went with a loser who is somewhat psychologically abusive and controlling. I was brooding on this and the gyre of self-pity continued to widen to include every other stupid mistake I've ever made in my life, starting with my decision to stay with my current BF and move from Colorado to Texas and going all the way back to middle school, which was 19 years ago.
I look back on my mistakes and tell myself 'boy, I'll never do that again' but I always do! Even when I'm caught up in the middle of stupid drama and I know I will regret my decision but I do it anyway.