im a terrible person

[melany]

hi, please help. ive been a really terrible person and it honestly makes me feel sick, so im going to tell the story of what i did in the hopes that some of you could help me out with fixing everything.

so my best friend, A, was being offensive about a topic that my other friend, B, uses as a coping mechanism. i was feeling bad at the time so i told B what happened, and they and i started to joke about it behind A's back. we were skyping and B told me to send screenshots of what A said, so i did, because i was being egged on by B and they told me it was fun. but now, B has contacted A and is bullying them and has made them have a panic attack and i feel horrible because its all my fault.

i know it sounds petty and small now that i write it all out, but i actually feel completely disgusted with myself over everything. now A hates me and im too scared to talk to them and too scared to tell B to stop because i might come off as even meaner.

 

[may71]

Hi Melany,

Sorry to hear that this is happening.

There may be some problems in my trying to respond to this without knowing the specifics.

Fear is sometimes a useful emotion. It can keep you from dong something that might be harmful. There are, however, things that are more important than fear, and when fear prevents you from doing things that should be done, it becomes an extremely destructive emotion.

I would suggest apologizing to A. I'm not sure why telling B to stop might come off as meaner, but B probably needs to be confronted

 

[IdontMatter111]

Hi @melany Welcome to SF. Its nice to meet you.

Its sounds like a tricky situation but I think what you have to do is apologise to A as if shes your best friend then Im sure you have had tons of good fun together and I am sure you miss her. Say that you are really sorry for what you did but that you wont do it again. However, please also challenge her views about B and ask her not to speak about her like that as we all struggle with different things and each of us deal with it in different ways. Also tell A that you wil speak to B and tell her to leave A alone., but suggest that maybe A should also apologise to B for saying those things. Then speak to B. Say that you have been thinking a lot about whats been happening, that you are feeling really guilty and want to set things straight and can she please leave A Alone. If you dont feel you can do all that alone maybe get a school counsellor to get all three of you together so you can each say your peice and apologise to one another and make things right again.

I really hope all that makes sense and that you are able to get everyone talking again. Meanwhile we are all here for you, to listen and offer support.

Hoping and praying all goes well.

Take care
s

 

[Walker]

Hi there
This place is anonymous so it's easy to use specifics. It makes it easier to answer your questions without being so general.
Without knowing enough about it, I vote that you go to each of them and try to clear things up. It sounds like you pooped on both of them and have reason to feel bad. Ultimately, it's in the "things that happen when you're young" category though and no one is going to be traumatized from it in 6 months. If both friendships mean something then be the better person and go to each of them and try to make things better. Good luck and remember in how this felt in the future. You sound like a good person and that your friends mean a lot to you.

 

[Petal]

Hi Melany, any update on this? What you did wasn't the worst thing in the world. You need to forgive yourself. Have you spoken to A since you made this first post? It's unfortunate that she had a panic attack etc.. but try to move on from it and take it as a lesson learned, B imo seems to have played you off against each other, got a buzz or whatever out of the situation, B is the real problem, just my 2 cents.