Jim's Cafe - 26th March 2021

[Champagne]

Thanks so much for the tag @Dante and I must give it to you, your cafe's are always quite interesting, shall look forward to reading everyone's replies but too tired atm to give the questions the credit they deserve

1) Say Hello
2) What do you want to tell people?

Hi all of you amazing people, I hope you all are doing well, staying safe, feeling good and have a wonderful weekend ahead of you. I hope the pandemic isn't getting you down too much, focus on whatever positives you can find, we will get through this. Let's improve ourselves while we have all this free time and look forward to hopefully a lovely warm summer. I want to tell others no matter how alone or distressed you may feel, SF will always be here to comfort you in some way, you are never alone here. I also want to say thanks to everyone for all the support these last few months And I'd like to wish @Butterfly well at the moment Didn't get to see you in chat today but hope all is on the upside

Also would like to reach out to @Holding my breath and @Walker and say hello & hope ye are doing well. Both as awesome as ever!!

One more thing actually, I read the forums quite a lot and the persistence of the members helping others day in and day out is so heart warming.

Peace, health and happiness, everyone!!! 💖

Here are some encouraging quotes, which I think apply to us all. 🌈💦💦💦

 

[1964dodge]

Thanks so much for the tag @Dante and I must give it to you, your cafe's are always quite interesting, shall look forward to reading everyone's replies but too tired atm to give the questions the credit they deserve



Hi all of you amazing people, I hope you all are doing well, staying safe, feeling good and have a wonderful weekend ahead of you. I hope the pandemic isn't getting you down too much, focus on whatever positives you can find, we will get through this. Let's improve ourselves while we have all this free time and look forward to hopefully a lovely warm summer. I want to tell others no matter how alone or distressed you may feel, SF will always be here to comfort you in some way, you are never alone here. I also want to say thanks to everyone for all the support these last few months And I'd like to wish @Butterfly well at the moment Didn't get to see you in chat today but hope all is on the upside

Also would like to reach out to @Holding my breath and @Walker and say hello & hope ye are doing well. Both as awesome as ever!!

One more thing actually, I read the forums quite a lot and the persistence of the members helping others day in and day out is so heart warming.

Peace, health and happiness, everyone!!! 💖

Here are some encouraging quotes, which I think apply to us all. 🌈💦💦💦
View attachment 43793 View attachment 43794 View attachment 43795

 

[Blue Star]

1) What did you hope to gain when you joined Suicide Forum? To talk to people who understand my situation. And they do.
2) What do you hope to change in your life? Just want life to be more livable.
3) Where do you hope to see yourself in the future? Anywhere but my current situation.
4) When was the last time you felt real hope? Last Sunday. But that quickly dissipated. I am hopeful I will get another day like that.

 

[MisterBGone]

Will you tag someone with a WaWaWiWa comic?

Diss Cushion Table

Have you discussed your struggles with anyone IRL? - Yes, a therapist.
Have you told anyone about Suicide Forum IRL? - No.
Do you regularly chat with anyone on Suicide Forum? What do you talk about?
- I often forget that there is a chat box in the corner, so no, like never.

Do you have anything you want to talk about?
- I wish I had a better therapist.

Apfrechiaxion Tab

Tell us what Suicide Forum means to you.
- The only place, where no one tell me to "man the fuck up", when I say I want to die.

What is your favourite part of SF.
- The above. No one tell me to "man the fuck up", when I say I want to die.

When has our admin/mod team helped you on SF?
- I made some questions in the Ask the Staff section and they are all answered.

Who IRL has supported you in your struggles?
- I mean, you are all real. We are just unable to meet in real life.

Hope Place

What did you hope to gain when you joined Suicide Forum?
- A relief from my daily suicidal thoughts and life struggles.

What do you hope to change in your life?
- A proper mental health treatment.

Where do you hope to see yourself in the future?
- A vacation after treatment.

When was the last time you felt real hope?
- When I had this current job after the time I tried to kill myself 2 years ago. A new begin.

I hope you all have a good day today.

The Pub

Say Hello - Hello
What do you want to tell people? - Do you know that every 60 seconds in Africa, a minute passes?

(one day, the day I make Jim's Cafe thread, one day. I'm procrastinating here, again)

(one day, the day I make Jim's Cafe thread, one day. I'm procrastinating here, again)
Yes, you should do that! . . . @johnDoen ! :^) I look very much forward to that-

 

[Autumn1973]

Thanks for the invitation, Dante.

1. I have not discussed most of what I've discussed on this site in real life. I quit doing that while I was still living in Florida. I reached out to someone at work about feeling suicidal after my divorce, and I received a rather nasty lecture about my lack of a relationship with God. After that, my suicidal feelings became a running joke in the department. So I'll never make that mistake again. Anyone wonder why I was social distancing in real-life before the pandemic hit?

2. No. But I would if I were able to trust their sincerity. I'll most likely never have the opportunity. I have no friends in real-life. I will always be social distancing in real-life, whether there's a pandemic or not.

3. I do. We discuss our lives and help each other with the issues we're dealing with.

4. Not at this time. I'm doing okay for now. Been better, but I've also been worse. Much worse.

1. The only place I have friends.

2. The friends I've made here.

3. Every time I visit by keeping this site up and running. Their dedication to helping others helps me by enabling me to use this site.

4. No one.

 

[JMG]

Tysm for the tag @Dante & for opening the cafe today Cool pix too.

Discussion Table
A table to discuss discussion (ooh, meta).

1) Have you discussed your struggles with anyone IRL?
Somewhat, no one truly knows the full extent of things though but I guess most people have some secrets after all.

2) Have you told anyone about Suicide Forum IRL?
Kinda, but not given the specific name or link to it. They'd definitely know it's me which freaks me out a bit.

3) Do you regularly chat with anyone on Suicide Forum? What do you talk about?
Somewhat, yes. We talk about various things.

4) Do you have anything you want to talk about?
Lots of things. I will pick a lighter thing though even though it'd most likely bore most people silly lol. I'm happy cos I had an idea for a collage to make yesterday when I woke up and so I put it all together and was happy with how it looked. I'd wanted to go out & print out the pages so I could put it in the place I wanted to put it in but then I was tired so I went n laid down. But then I woke up and it was such a beautiful day out and still light out, so I went out and printed out the collages. Then when I got home I cut them out and put them where I'd wanted to put them and they fit perfectly I was glad about that cos there's been times where I have messed up the sizes and thought it would fit and then it didn't. Anyway I really like how it looks and it is another expression of love to someone who is very special to me. With any luck one day I will have a person for real in my life who I can not only do such things for (if not daily then at least weekly) but who would perhaps do similar kinds of things for me. It is a very nice dream if nothing else so I am striving to enjoy that as much as I can, every day. ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

Appreciation Table
A place to appreciate the forum, and anything else in your life.

1) Tell us what Suicide Forum means to you.
A place where you can talk about what's on your mind and (for the most part) you can give details about it that would be much harder to do in person. Where you can hopefully find others who think similarly to you about things and where you can help each other and show true appreciation, support and acceptance.

2) What is your favourite part of SF.
Lots of things but especially cafes and gameroom

3) When has our admin/mod team helped you on SF?
I haven't generally gone directly to any admins or mods, whatever I've needed help with has usually been of a more psychological nature and when that's the case I usually will either vent about it in my diary or have sometimes posted topics about things that were really bothering/confusing me. They seem to be quite helpful and friendly though, I think they are great

4) Who IRL has supported you in your struggles?
My mom, sis and friend more than anyone.

Hope Table
A place to allow ourselves that light that is hope.

1) What did you hope to gain when you joined Suicide Forum?
Truly good, kind, caring, understanding, supportive and accepting friends who I could both talk to about my own stuff and also who would talk to me about things they were upset about (or whatever else) and where I could hopefully help them too. I'm glad to say I have found those things here, and more than that I've found a place where I can be myself and also enjoy other people and learning from what they talk about. Interacting I guess, it's very important to have that in one's life I think.

2) What do you hope to change in your life?
My weight and romantic life would both be good ones. Trying hard to have hope for them both but the second one is definitely the challenge of a lifetime for me.

3) Where do you hope to see yourself in the future?
Happy, peaceful and hopefully able to help others in some way. Oh and hope I'll always be living with at least 1 or more cats too

4) When was the last time you felt real hope?
I feel it somewhat every day in some way or another. When I saw Star Wars for the first time it definitely gave me a huge surge of hope for a lot of reasons.

5) [Not a Question] I hope you all have a good day today.
Aw tysm this is very sweet Same to you and everyone else also

 

[Lane]

Thank you for opening and tagging me @Dante

Discussion Table
A table to discuss discussion (ooh, meta).
1) Have you discussed your struggles with anyone IRL?

Yes, one friend

2) Have you told anyone about Suicide Forum IRL?

Yes

3) Do you regularly chat with anyone on Suicide Forum? What do you talk about?

I just use forums, not chat

4) Do you have anything you want to talk about? Yes, I'm dating someone that is moving too quickly

Appreciation Table
A place to appreciate the forum, and anything else in your life.
1) Tell us what Suicide Forum means to you.

A safe, friendly place. Somewhere that I hope I can also offer support.

2) What is your favourite part of SF.

It's part of my routine, seeing familiar members

3) When has our admin/mod team helped you on SF?
When I thought there was a troll and with a donation issue

4) Who IRL has supported you in your struggles? One friend

Hope Table
A place to allow ourselves that light that is hope.

1) What did you hope to gain when you joined Suicide Forum?

I was desperate so nothing then

2) What do you hope to change in your life?

I just want peace and to improve my relationships

3) Where do you hope to see yourself in the future?

With not many worries I hope, hopefully involved in my future grandchildren lives

4) When was the last time you felt real hope?

30 years ago

 

[adamjam]

Good morning @Dante dantethanks for the tag and opening the cafe today. Hope you are having a good day or night.
1. When I was last in therapy.
2. Just mentioned I use an online forum.
3. I dont use chat, too much going on.
4. I have plenty to talk about.
To me SF is place where I dont feel so alone. The support and caring here is phenomenal
I like everything about SF, especially the diary thread. It's not safe for me irl to keep a journal so it's been nice having that again
Freya, I was researching methods when I came across one of her articles, which led me here.
Weed is pretty supportive, as is self harm.
1. Methods to ctb.
2. To have have friends and not feel suicidal.
3. Hopefully I will be an accomplished and known artist.
4. It's been awhile.
Have a great weekend everyone.

 

[Kiwi2016]

Thanks for opening and the tag @Dante.

Great opening and questions as always.....

Discussion Table
A table to discuss discussion (ooh, meta).
1) Have you discussed your struggles with anyone IRL? Yes. As had fairly public melt-down at previous job/career so did reach out to friends

2) Have you told anyone about Suicide Forum IRL? Yes my therapist and a few friends as well.

3) Do you regularly chat with anyone on Suicide Forum? What do you talk about? I tend to be only on in the mornings so limited but enjoy it when I do via PM or conversations...not able to think fast enough for the chat aspect (yes showing my age I know...lol)

4) Do you have anything you want to talk about? Not really....guess just the struggles of life continue it seems but am in a better place to cope a bit more rationally so inwardly may start to spiral but am better able to keep it in check

Appreciation Table
A place to appreciate the forum, and anything else in your life.
1) Tell us what Suicide Forum means to you. It is my lifeline in a word.

2) What is your favourite part of SF. The safety of it...you can express your inner thoughts/feelings without judgement and receive good advice, support suggestions...and the fact that mental health issues are often ongoing/recurring so sharing when you are struggling yet again sometimes with the same thing it is always met with empathy and support rather than dismissiveness or you should be over that by now like can happen IRL

3) When has our admin/mod team helped you on SF? All the time and especially with my inability to remember my password And have fond memories of @JmpMster who was so welcoming when I first joined in 2016...hard to believe so much time has gone by

4) Who IRL has supported you in your struggles? Therapist, friends and husband when I share if I'm struggling

Hope Table
A place to allow ourselves that light that is hope.
1) What did you hope to gain when you joined Suicide Forum? I found SF after reading an article about mental health written by Adam (can't remember his last name) and he suggested this site...as when in the depths of depression/anxiety needed a safe outlet to share what was going on with me..best thing that I ever did...

2) What do you hope to change in your life? Smoking...getting used to the fact that a mistake at work doesn't mean you will be fired...living more in the present moment and enjoy the small joys of life

3) Where do you hope to see yourself in the future? Hope to retire at 65...so 58 now as given 20 year age difference with my husband would like some time to travel and just simply "be"

4) When was the last time you felt real hope? That's a hard one as I am one of those "what if" folks... but I guess it was after being forced into early retirement and successfully finishing a certificate program and getting a job in my new career all of which took about 2 years...did give me hope that it is possible to re-invent yourself... harder to hold onto hope admit but something that I try diligently to do...

Wishing all a great Friday....

tagging @Bergerac @Shadowlands @mpk @Were all together @Lady Wolfshead @Innocent Forever @nobodyknows71 @BlueGreen @may71 @Lara_C @pooky

 

[Holding my breath]

One good thing about being off work is that it gives me more time to come here to SF. Thank you @Dante for opening. I always love your cafes, perfect theme for today.

1) Have you discussed your struggles with anyone IRL?
Yes. I’m probably too open to my therapists. I am very open with them about my suicidal thoughts and self harm.
2) Have you told anyone about Suicide Forum IRL?
I have told professionals from the mental health team but not anyone else.
3) Do you regularly chat with anyone on Suicide Forum? What do you talk about?
I have made a few friends here for which I am so grateful. I honestly think suicidal people are the nicest people. I have also made a best friend from here. We talk every day about anything and everything and they are so amazing.
4) Do you have anything you want to talk about?
I have a long road ahead of me but taking sick leave is the first step. I have no idea when I will be going back but today is my first day off work.

Appreciation Table
A place to appreciate the forum, and anything else in your life.
1) Tell us what Suicide Forum means to you.
It means so much. It’s a place where I can be me, be honest, let down my containment field and feel a part of something, or at least that’s what I’m hoping for.
2) What is your favourite part of SF.
The people.
3) When has our admin/mod team helped you on SF?
I’ve broken the rules a couple of times when I got carried away and mentioned methods but they have always been understanding and kind
4) Who IRL has supported you in your struggles?
counsellors, husband to some extent, my brother and sister and my daughters. I am very lucky to have people behind me.

Hope Table
A place to allow ourselves that light that is hope.
1) What did you hope to gain when you joined Suicide Forum?
idk. I stumbled across the forum when I was researching suicide. I am so pleased I did but I didn’t have any thoughts about what I wanted gain. I always crave to feel a part of something, to be known as myself and not wife or mum or teacher. Here at least I am me

2) What do you hope to change in your life?
I know things need to change but I don’t know what. I am uncomfortable with myself, think of myself unworthy, unimportant, hurting myself feels right, looking after myself feels wrong. This feels overwhelming most days to the point where I feel in a permanent state of crisis. So perhaps, although I can’t even imagine, I hope maybe that will change

3) Where do you hope to see yourself in the future?
I have no idea. Can’t see past today.

4) When was the last time you felt real hope?
A very very long time ago.

Take care everyone. You are all amazing, special people and I thank you all for being you.
Xx

 

[Przym]

Discussion Table

1) Have you discussed your struggles with anyone IRL?
My close family know about most of my struggles.

2) Have you told anyone about Suicide Forum IRL?
An associate of mine.

3) Do you regularly chat with anyone on Suicide Forum? What do you talk about?
Not anymore.

I've resigned myself to airing my drama in the public forums, as attempting to converse w/people in private messages only to get ghosted has gotten old.

4) Do you have anything you want to talk about?
Nope.

Appreciation Table

1) Tell us what Suicide Forum means to you.
It seems to be a resting place for people going through hell. Most newcomers vent and leave, others stay and mingle.

2) What is your favourite part of SF.
The complex feelings of comfort and sadness that come from knowing others are suffering just as much, if not more so, than I am.

3) When has our admin/mod team helped you on SF?
Changing my username.

4) Who IRL has supported you in your struggles?
My siblings, to a degree. My father has helped financially.

Hope Table

1) What did you hope to gain when you joined Suicide Forum?
Maybe a sense of belonging somewhere.

2) What do you hope to change in your life?
My circumstances. My outlook on life. I hope to mature in various ways.

3) Where do you hope to see yourself in the future?
A monastery.

4) When was the last time you felt real hope?
Legitimately too long ago to remember.

 

[Road to Nowhere]

A table to discuss discussion (ooh, meta).

1) Have you discussed your struggles with anyone IRL?

Yes, I'm not as open about it as I am here.

2) Have you told anyone about Suicide Forum IRL?

Yes I have talked about SF though not by name.

3) Do you regularly chat with anyone on Suicide Forum? What do you talk about?

I don't use chat. I appreciate everyone here and the discussions we have.

4) Do you have anything you want to talk about

Appreciation Table
A place to appreciate the forum, and anything else in your life.

1) Tell us what Suicide Forum means to you.

When I'm feeling lost, alone, depressed SF is always there thank you.

2) What is your favourite part of SF.

Cafe's

3) When has our admin/mod team helped you on SF?

Words of encouragement, support when I needed it the most.

4) Who IRL has supported you in your struggles?

Father

Hope Table
A place to allow ourselves that light that is hope.

1) What did you hope to gain when you joined Suicide Forum?

To gain tools and support to better cope with my depression suicidal thoughts ect.

2) What do you hope to change in your life?

To accept things, I can not change.

3) Where do you hope to see yourself in the future?

Better than I was yesterday, continually learning, growing and improving.

4) When was the last time you felt real hope?

It's been a while, I'm working on making changes so I can feel real hope again.

 

[Ash600]

Discussion Table

1) Have you discussed your struggles with anyone IRL?
Yeah once, totally pointless excersise that was as well.
2) Have you told anyone about Suicide Forum IRL?
No
3) Do you regularly chat with anyone on Suicide Forum? What do you talk about?
Occasionally do, normally chatting about random shit.
4) Do you have anything you want to talk about?
Best I don't

Appreciation Table
A place to appreciate the forum, and anything else in your life.
1) Tell us what Suicide Forum means to you.
Lately, I've been trying to work that one out

2) What is your favourite part of SF.
Music threads I've created. It's a place I can escape to and switch off.

3) When has our admin/mod team helped you on SF?
Never happened. Received several reprimands over my conduct though..

4) Who IRL has supported you in your struggles?
Myself. The way I see it now, if you're up to your neck in shit, then the only way to pull yourself out, is to rely on your own pair of hands.

Hope Table
A place to allow ourselves that light that is hope.
1) What did you hope to gain when you joined Suicide Forum?
Answers/confirmation that I was doing the right thing. Also, hoping to find the lost sock that went AWOL the day before I joined.

2) What do you hope to change in your life?
My temperament.
3) Where do you hope to see yourself in the future?
I prefer not to. That way it reduces the chances of dissapointment but still leaves the opportunity for a pleasant suprise.

4) When was the last time you felt real hope?
Champions League 2005 Final (football/soccer for those who don't know what I'm talking about). Liverpool coming back from 3-0 to AC Milan at halftime. The moment Vlad Smicer lashed the ball into the back of the net, inwardly I knew the game was ours. And so the miracle of Istanbul was borne.

 

[JMG]

3) Where do you hope to see yourself in the future?
I prefer not to. That way it reduces the chances of dissapointment but still leaves the opportunity for a pleasant suprise.

Just wanted to say, thank you! For putting into words what I've always basically felt about this question but never knew quite how to say. Has been a dreadful struggle for me for years, I've never liked being asked those "future" kinds of questions. They stressed me the heck out as a kid/teen and I still feel the exact same way about them now.

 

[Ash600]

Just wanted to say, thank you! For putting into words what I've always basically felt about this question but never knew quite how to say. Has been a dreadful struggle for me for years, I've never liked being asked those "future" kinds of questions. They stressed me the heck out as a kid/teen and I still feel the exact same way about them now.

Kind of know how you feel..... That's why I've adopted that point of view, makes things a whole lot easier.

 

[Baywasp]

Thanks for the tag @Dante and sorry I'm late

1) Have you discussed your struggles with anyone IRL? Yeah, I used to do it a lot but I'm trying to become less dependent on external support and validation.
2) Have you told anyone about Suicide Forum IRL? Only my therapists and my old service coordinator.
3) Do you regularly chat with anyone on Suicide Forum? What do you talk about? I don't go in the chat room, but I use the individual chat feature with a few people and the PMs with a few others. We just talk about life and what's going on with ourselves, and offer each other hugs and virtually share what we're eating and drinking with each other.
4) Do you have anything you want to talk about? Idk. I'm just really frustrated with my research still. I'm waiting to hear back from my advisor because I feel really stupid when I have to repeatedly bug him to get an appropriate response to my questions. :/

1) Tell us what Suicide Forum means to you. Community
2) What is your favourite part of SF. The people
3) When has our admin/mod team helped you on SF? Trying to keep it a safe environment and being supportive.
4) Who IRL has supported you in your struggles? A few of my friends, my therapists and doctors, etc.

1) What did you hope to gain when you joined Suicide Forum? Just somewhere I could get support for my issues and discuss things with others who have had similar experiences.
2) What do you hope to change in your life? Be more comfortable socially, have more confidence in general, better work ethic, find a romantic partner maybe...
3) Where do you hope to see yourself in the future? Getting a PhD.
4) When was the last time you felt real hope? I've probably felt it many times; it's just a question of how long it has to stay for it to "count."
5) [Not a Question] I hope you all have a good day today. Thanks. I got through it at least.

 

[Dante]

No problem @Baywasp Its never too late to visit a cafe.