Jim's Cafe - Wednesday 27th September to 29th September

[may71]

P.s apologies for my use of language in my post

No worries mate!

 

[may71]

He takes out a vial containing a mysterious white powder and throws it onto the floor a few feet in front of him. The vial explodes into a large dust cloud, revealing a massive field of red trip lasers in various zigzag patterns.

The thief quickly runs forward and does a quadruple somersault followed by sixteen handstands, then does an immediate forward slide while managing to avoid each and every laser with effortless ease. Upon getting past the final laser, he walks over to the junction power box, flips it open, and flicks the off switch, shutting the laser grid down.

Now if we just had a silent alarm that goes off when someone shuts down the laser power box, THINGS LIKE THIS WOULDN'T HAPPEN!

Thanks for opening the cafe Emmy!

 

[EmB]

Thank you for the invite @Innocent Forever , would love to come along!

I'm loving the intro @Emerald Hyperion by the way.

Thought I should bring everyone some ice cream; since the weather's great, thought we could all do with something to cool us down!

Sending hugs

Em

 

[Ash600]

@Emerald Hyperion you could have your own James bond movie <edit> opening the beach house you could go far in life with this and end up making millions!!! If I ever need to rob a bank I shall be calling you to be my partner in crime!!! I am not sure I am liking the idea of swimming away from blood thirsty sharks though only bit of meat I have on me is of my butt my pride and glory I could be the next beyonce shaking her thang well second best as we all know @Ash600 wins the award for the best!!! You mentioned sexy ladies, no sexy men? I would add pictures but I tried to on another post ages ago and it didn't like me. :-( but I will bring.... MYSELF which I shall be dressed for the occasion in my bikini and sunglasses my bucket and spade to make sandcastles and my very own version of sex on the beach cocktail for people to try out.

Well done Emmy for your unique entrance of an opening it certainly was very imaginative and creative!!!

What's that? Did someone mention we're having a beach house butt-party???

 

[Walker]

Oh
My
Gosh

This is an awesome opening. Maybe you should get put on the list of permanent opener-type-people.

Thanks for the laughs. Good times.
I've been missing for a minute but be back soon.

 

[Ash600]

Oh
My
Gosh

This is an awesome opening. Maybe you should get put on the list of permanent opener-type-people.

Thanks for the laughs. Good times.
I've been missing for a minute but be back soon.

With regards to the "awsome opening" I hope you're referring to @Emerald Hyperion's intro and not to either @Becky2016's or my butt!:p

 

[Becky2017]

With regards to the "awsome opening" I hope you're referring to @Emerald Hyperion's intro and not to either @Becky2016's or my butt!:p

Its ok to refer to me but not ash's butt that gets enough attention as it is.

 

[Ash600]

Its ok to refer to me but not ash's butt that gets enough attention as it is.

That's cos my butt is worthy of attention. One day Becky, and that day will come soon, Jim's cafe WILL be held live and exclusive from my rear-ender!

 

[drinty]

Whaa I'm late as per usual. I soo need a massage by the waters edge, or maybe one of those flotation tanks where you are isolated? Are there any of those at the beach house? Am feeling rather fraught, I'll catch my breath in a mo....
Thanks for the invite, how do I get notifications tho? I just happened to browse on in glad I did!

 

[Innocent Forever]

Whaa I'm late as per usual. I soo need a massage by the waters edge, or maybe one of those flotation tanks where you are isolated? Are there any of those at the beach house? Am feeling rather fraught, I'll catch my breath in a mo....
Thanks for the invite, how do I get notifications tho? I just happened to browse on in glad I did!

The party is on through Friday........ There's whatever you bring along
You click watch thread on the top right or watch forum. I think!

 

[drinty]

View attachment 3972 Yay I'll be in here for a while in that case

 

[Emerald Hyperion]

Hahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaah!! Yaaay!! You are a very cool cafe opener!!

Love the literary prowess of your lexicon sir I wish SF had 'super-likes' like Tinder because this would deffo get my Wednesday super-like :p Ohhh... I have a pedantic quibble to make...! Wouldn't 12:42pm be rush hour at Jim's Cafe?? :eek: :eek: or did you mean AM? :eek:

Thank you so much, Cody, I really appreciate that. Literally came up with doing this just before I went to bed, and yes I accidentally typed PM instead of AM - the reason why that happened was because it originally said 11:42 PM, but when I was about to post the message, I decided to change the time by an hour ahead but forgot to change to AM accordingly. By the time I realized that the ten minute timer reared its ugly head, LOL!

You accomplished your goal of making us laugh, or me anyways
I think I'll start with the heavenly massages with relaxing music playing in the background and soft scents filling the air.

Don't I always, Miss Inno? I'm glad to have done it again. After today of nearly falling asleep and waking up twenty times in a row, I wish I could get a massage myself right now. @_@

THAT is the best cafe opening ever! I love the beach but to have a beach house too is the icing on the cake. Thanks @Emerald Hyperion for the invite

Hope you don't mind, I've brought a few toys along... Today is going to be an excellent day!

You're quite welcome, Lulabelle! Man that Corona beer tank-like toy, I would love to own something like that! Firing mortar shells of beer straight at me! Drinking, wearing a float toy and riding a jet ski at the same time... an accident is bound to happen if that was me doing all three at the same time! And I'd still go for it anyway!

@Emerald Hyperion you could have your own James bond movie <edit> opening the beach house you could go far in life with this and end up making millions!!! If I ever need to rob a bank I shall be calling you to be my partner in crime!!! I am not sure I am liking the idea of swimming away from blood thirsty sharks though only bit of meat I have on me is of my butt my pride and glory I could be the next beyonce shaking her thang well second best as we all know @Ash600 wins the award for the best!!! You mentioned sexy ladies, no sexy men? I would add pictures but I tried to on another post ages ago and it didn't like me. :-( but I will bring.... MYSELF which I shall be dressed for the occasion in my bikini and sunglasses my bucket and spade to make sandcastles and my very own version of sex on the beach cocktail for people to try out.

Well done Emmy for your unique entrance of an opening it certainly was very imaginative and creative!!!

Thank you so much, Becky! These big time movie directors need to move on over and make room for me sometime soon! Hell, they might be coming to me for some advice on how to write and direct! *gives you my calling card for the next upcoming bank heist* You can count on me for a few robberies, too! I have access to all sorts of black market tools like safe crackers, window cutters, computer network hacking devices, and I'm highly trained in the art of sneaking around in the dark - I make a cat look like a fumbling fool in comparison! Don't worry about the sharks - I brought shark repellant for everyone - it works for approximately 72 hours.... and... ahem... did you say butt shaking? The next Beyonce? *gives you my calling card for the next video shoot* In case you need a cameraman, an agent, and a director.... :p Hm, I wonder if SF is picture gender-biased? Maybe you should try again and add pictures of the sexy men. Needless to say, I didn't realize what manscaping was until AFTER I posted - I thought it had something to do with hair... but not... THAT kind of hair. Oh and don't worry about the cursing/editing, like Machina said... no big deal, hell I only type (CENSORED) just for the hell of it... and I still let a curse fly by the radar!

Thanks for the invitation, @Emerald Hyperion!
I can sing, and I'll bring a guitar. (In the world of the cafe I will know how to play the songs everybody wants to sing instead of mostly just songs by a relatively obscure indie pop band... just like how I can cook for people at the cafe sometimes without feeling at all freaked out.)
A friend seems to have snuck along in my guitar case

You're very welcome, baywasp! Thank god we have you to sing and play for us - if it was me trying to do so I think everyone would've went deaf from my terrible attempt or have had to bring along some earplugs! And that is quite the cute kitty!

Is this like those fellas who broke into the bank vault in NYC last year—only the latest of quite a few thefts conducted in this style? The NY Times of course doesn’t tell you they need sticks of dynamite, with a drill to make holes for them, or a jackhammer, to break through the concrete box of the vault itself; getting through the roof is merely the first step.

But I didn’t suppose Jim’s Café offers aspiring thieves the $5 million reward a vault job does. (Wannabes are strictly excluded from this league, which is pros only.) Oh, well; thanks Emerald, for thinking of me anyway, even if I’m not a felon! :eek:

You're welcome, NoneKnowNothingness - would you believe I was going to add portion where the keys was inside a giant safe? Was going to use a safe cracker to open it but I ended up editing it out. Was even going to add a part where I would use a blow torch or something, but went against it. I know you're not a felon - but if you wanna join me and Becky for the next heist, we can cut you a couple million! We split it three ways? No tax deductible, either, just clean bills. Promise we won't get caught. :cool:

Thanks for the invite @Emerald Hyperion...loved the opening...was all set for a museum heist of priceless jewels...you should write for Bond!...
Thought we could do some surfing while at the beach....but hopefully all sharks are well offshore....not sure if my dog is up to it bit others might be...

Thank you and you're welcome, Kiwi. Take some shark repellant, I guarantee they'll leave you alone - the next time I rob a place I'm gonna aim for the big leagues - I like the sound of grabbing some jewels. I love emeralds and diamonds! I was gonna add a section where I had to avoid a security guard, but then I was like, why would a security guard be at a cafe?! LOL! When the next 007 movie is out, look for my name in the credits.

Thanks for the shout out Hyperion! Very cool opening!!! Lila belle covered such cool stuff but I'm going to bring in something for total relaxation. Hammocks. Some in the shade of the trees on property and some in full sun. All with a view of the ocean. Swing to the sounds of the ocean. Can't wait to get to the beach house!!!

You're welcome, Wiltingone. That sounds so relaxing. I could really use a hammock right now or just let an ocean wave crash over me at the moment. Its so humid at my home I'd do anything to be at an actual beach!

This is a great Jim's, thanks Emerald! I had one of those special brownies, and now I'm finally relaxing. Ahhhh, I feel like my troubles are far behind me!
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You're welcome, Machina - are you seeing things that aren't there like floating purple dinosaurs, a black Donald Trump, and a Puerto Rican Jesus...ohhhhhhhhhh nooooooo!!!!! I FORGOT TO GIVE YOU YOUR SHARK REPELLANT! RUNNNNNNN---ER, I MEAN SWIM!!!!! Damn, Machina is too weeded out to move! :eek:

@Lulabelle you coming kayaking with @HumanExMachina I knew you'd have to have something alcohol related along.....
I love kayaking in the sea!!!! Did it only once but I already know that I love it. After the heavenly massage I'm up for anything @Emerald Hyperion

Miss Inno, I never went kayaking in my life but that really sounds like fun - I'll gladly join in with you on that! Knowing my clumsy self I may fall overboard and into the water and probably get zapped by a random jellyfish, but at least I'd enjoy doing it! I'd better grab the paddles!

 

[Emerald Hyperion]

Now if we just had a silent alarm that goes off when someone shuts down the laser power box, THINGS LIKE THIS WOULDN'T HAPPEN!

Thanks for opening the cafe Emmy!

No problem, may, noooo problem, and thank you. LOL, if there was a silent alarm, I definitely would've gotten caught. I didn't bring any tools in preparation for something like that! But now that I'm aware... I'll know for my next burglary...

Thank you for the invite @Innocent Forever , would love to come along!

I'm loving the intro @Emerald Hyperion by the way.

Thought I should bring everyone some ice cream; since the weather's great, thought we could all do with something to cool us down!

Thanks, EmB! Good lord almighty, that ice cream looks good. That'd cool me down perfectly especially after suffering from being hot all day today... @_@

What's that? Did someone mention we're having a beach house butt-party???

That's what I heard, too, Ash, that's what I heard too...

Oh
My
Gosh

This is an awesome opening. Maybe you should get put on the list of permanent opener-type-people. Thanks for the laughs. Good times.
I've been missing for a minute but be back soon.

Thank you, walkerbait. I already put in my application for the cafe opening. I will be interviewed next week. Got my resume prepared too:

COVER LETTER: I'm a Black Man Trying to Get Paid
WORK SKILLS: None
PAST WORK HISTORY: None Whatsoever
ANY SKILLS WHATSOEVER?: Part-time Comedian, Part-time Writer
REFERENCES: My fellow comedian @HumanExMachina

I think I'm all set! Gonna kill at the interview with this!

That's cos my butt is worthy of attention. One day Becky, and that day will come soon, Jim's cafe WILL be held live and exclusive from my rear-ender!

And we will be ready to attend that event, Ash. We will be ready to attend that event, with a camera crew, the press, and perhaps even a red carpet runway for DAT ASS!

Whaa I'm late as per usual. I soo need a massage by the waters edge, or maybe one of those flotation tanks where you are isolated? Are there any of those at the beach house? Am feeling rather fraught, I'll catch my breath in a mo....

Its never too late for the party, drinty. There's a big flotation tank right past the house's entrance. Hell, there's even a jacuzzi too. Even a sauna. As hot as it was in my apartment today, that might as well served as sauna too. Relax a spell, you definitely need it.

 

[Thauoy]

Hey @Innocent Forever , Thanks for always including me in Jim's cafe. Hugs

 

[Innocent Forever]

Oh @Emerald Hyperion I think I heard some whispers re the interview that although they have plenty of applicants you are up for grabs if you want the job. You'll have to confirm with @Freya of course, but I heard she's making you a special key where no matter the mishaps you'll never get locked out, and I heard that @Witty_Sarcasm and @east_coast_mel are preparing you a rescue suit and team to make sure that you'll always be there regardless of where you land up and there are some special boxes of tissues being prepared so that everyone will be able to wipe away their tears. also SF logo embroidered handkerchiefs for everyone to have with them always.
Today I'll let you decide what I do today.. lol

 

[Citizen Insane]

Hiya, @Innocent Forever - I'm here! :o

Who wants some Earl Grey tea? <(^___^)>

 

[Fudgewobble]

Sorry guys, I can't come out to play this time. Just barely get onto forum at the moment. Lots of house painting and it's not as easy as it was 10 years ago. Fudge in pain!! Have a great party, you animals.

 

[NoneKnowNothingness]

P.s apologies for my use of language in my post that resorted in it needing editing... Sorry everyone. Hugs.

Thoughtful of you to have second thoughts about it. But even if it had trashy language, I doubt Betelgeuse will go supernova and fry the Earth as a result. We all unloose words we wish we'd kept quivered, which, like arrows, can't be recalled.

I didn't see the post in question and would not have been too disturbed: I listened to a fellow behavioral health patient destroying his room one night and that was a bit scary, as I kept shrinking myself in case he turned his gaze on me. And he was big and strong and easily capable of dismembering me if he wanted to. But he didn't go after any people, just his nightstand, which became a pile of firewood. o_O

I've enjoyed what you have to say.

 

[NoneKnowNothingness]

Lots of house painting and it's not as easy as it was 10 years ago. Fudge in pain!!

You're doing better than me; I won't even change the ceiling lamp since I'm afraid of falling, and I've still got 9 years on those "10 years ago" of yours! Best wishes & good luck.

 

[Innocent Forever]

@Kathie Sunflower @dtc @Blake9 @Ash600 :p @Polly Anne @Lonely85 @Angel368 @Lulabelle @Kiwi2016 @JacsMom @HumanExMachina @lost_soul @Lost @treehousewizkid @crumbum @London @Zambee123 come say hi

Happy , um. Thursday, yeah, Thursday. Happy Thursday y'all

I'm bringing along caps for everyone to protect from the sun. And being that we need to know who is a part of our beach party...
View attachment 3981 View attachment 3982 View attachment 3983

View attachment 3984

(for those who don't want to be wearing stolen logos)

some others for those who rather
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for those who rather
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