I have always found that bringing someone though the path you took to reach knowledge or wisdom makes it that much easier to understand its full meaning, so I hope you dont mind if I take the long way around.
Back in university I became very depressed and continually tried to get the most out of life despite diminishing returns, eventually I realized I didn't want to live anymore, I wanted it to be over because no matter how much I tried I was never happy anymore, quite the opposite, it was at this time that I shed a lot of the things that many people see as special and important that I have actually come to see a burdens.
One such notion I shed at that time was the idea that life was somehow a precious and unique thing to experience, a gift we all receive and should cherish, this is nonsense, I have come to realize that life is far more basic than this, life is a resource, just like a computer or money or food, life has a value based on the amount of change it can effect whilst it lasts, and we USE this resource to build our experience, THAT is the important distinction here, life is not the experience, just the resource, so if the experience is not worth having, simply use the resource for something else.
I made a deal with myself when i was first depressed, whenever I am at a point where life no longer feels worth living I stop wasting this precious resource on my own feeble attempts at self-fulfillment and spend it to effect the change I was to see around me, even if I feel terrible whilst doing it, life is an extremely valuable resource which should never be squandered, and as slavery is in no way acceptable the only such resource you have access to is your own life.
When a business is not succeeding it will change its strategy and even its goals in order to maximize the effectiveness of its resources, life should be no different, you should take stock of yourself, your skills, your abilities, your motivation, your strengths and weaknesses and truly get to grips with the resource that is your life, the absolute minimum effort required to maintain your effectiveness emotionally and physically, the maximum effort you are capable of, and just what you are capable of achieving with that effort, and once you have done this you can more effectively wield this resource.
I am once again in a place where the experience of living is not worth having, but I am not for a second considering ending it because throwing away such a valuable resource just because you have no use for it is just so selfish, its like setting fire to all your money at the point of death rather than giving it away, there is still so much use that can be gained from my life; so here it is, the basic idea I took so long to get to: if your life is not doing you any good, give it to someone else.
The first time I spent some of my life for other people I ended up giving myself the most valuable thing in my life today as a result, I spent any spare time I had that I would have spent on enjoying myself on my little sister instead, she was still quite young at the time and struggling to find the will to live, I listened, took her burdens, stayed up nights to keep her company when she couldnt sleep, it all felt like misery and hell to me anyway so why not experience misery whilst doing something useful, the result nearly a decade later is a confident and wonderful young woman who is engaged to be married and is more like a daughter to me than a sister and her unwavering faith in me continues to be a great source of comfort in my darkest moments.
My sister is not the only person I have done this for, and each person I have helped holds a special place in my considerably battered and shabby heart, and in turn those who have helped me also will never leave this tatty hart of mine, though I sometimes wonder if they would rather I not hold them in my heart considering the state of it...
We are each born with an incredibly valuable and finite resource, we should use this to make ourselves happy, help other people, gain and record wisdom and ideas, build our understanding and skills to better utilize this resource, but never ever waste it by just throwing it away. If I gain nothing from my life I will go to the grave satisfied if I have used my life effectively anyway, and perhaps even saved more lives than the one I have spent.
It sounds an awful lot better than just discarding your life, doesn't it?
Back in university I became very depressed and continually tried to get the most out of life despite diminishing returns, eventually I realized I didn't want to live anymore, I wanted it to be over because no matter how much I tried I was never happy anymore, quite the opposite, it was at this time that I shed a lot of the things that many people see as special and important that I have actually come to see a burdens.
One such notion I shed at that time was the idea that life was somehow a precious and unique thing to experience, a gift we all receive and should cherish, this is nonsense, I have come to realize that life is far more basic than this, life is a resource, just like a computer or money or food, life has a value based on the amount of change it can effect whilst it lasts, and we USE this resource to build our experience, THAT is the important distinction here, life is not the experience, just the resource, so if the experience is not worth having, simply use the resource for something else.
I made a deal with myself when i was first depressed, whenever I am at a point where life no longer feels worth living I stop wasting this precious resource on my own feeble attempts at self-fulfillment and spend it to effect the change I was to see around me, even if I feel terrible whilst doing it, life is an extremely valuable resource which should never be squandered, and as slavery is in no way acceptable the only such resource you have access to is your own life.
When a business is not succeeding it will change its strategy and even its goals in order to maximize the effectiveness of its resources, life should be no different, you should take stock of yourself, your skills, your abilities, your motivation, your strengths and weaknesses and truly get to grips with the resource that is your life, the absolute minimum effort required to maintain your effectiveness emotionally and physically, the maximum effort you are capable of, and just what you are capable of achieving with that effort, and once you have done this you can more effectively wield this resource.
I am once again in a place where the experience of living is not worth having, but I am not for a second considering ending it because throwing away such a valuable resource just because you have no use for it is just so selfish, its like setting fire to all your money at the point of death rather than giving it away, there is still so much use that can be gained from my life; so here it is, the basic idea I took so long to get to: if your life is not doing you any good, give it to someone else.
The first time I spent some of my life for other people I ended up giving myself the most valuable thing in my life today as a result, I spent any spare time I had that I would have spent on enjoying myself on my little sister instead, she was still quite young at the time and struggling to find the will to live, I listened, took her burdens, stayed up nights to keep her company when she couldnt sleep, it all felt like misery and hell to me anyway so why not experience misery whilst doing something useful, the result nearly a decade later is a confident and wonderful young woman who is engaged to be married and is more like a daughter to me than a sister and her unwavering faith in me continues to be a great source of comfort in my darkest moments.
My sister is not the only person I have done this for, and each person I have helped holds a special place in my considerably battered and shabby heart, and in turn those who have helped me also will never leave this tatty hart of mine, though I sometimes wonder if they would rather I not hold them in my heart considering the state of it...
We are each born with an incredibly valuable and finite resource, we should use this to make ourselves happy, help other people, gain and record wisdom and ideas, build our understanding and skills to better utilize this resource, but never ever waste it by just throwing it away. If I gain nothing from my life I will go to the grave satisfied if I have used my life effectively anyway, and perhaps even saved more lives than the one I have spent.
It sounds an awful lot better than just discarding your life, doesn't it?
