Loneliness is literally killing me...
- Thread starter painfully
- Start date
There's someone out there for everyone trust me. Give yourself a break. I dont believe someone has one diagnosis or doctors know everything. Mednice is constantly changing and learning. But ill tell you something life that I learned whatever your holding onto you got to let go...not for there sake but for yours. Read books..distract yourself go for walks in a park. Free your mind. Its ok to be human no one's perfect all we can do is learn from our mistakes also life is who you surround yourself with so surround yourself with good people. Postive people.
So... By a miracle a very nice girl messaged me in another site and we talked, and she was very nice and accepting... But as always with me... Nothing is meant to be... We really talked a lot, a call for 8 hours straight... Then texting, then more call... Introverted like me... She says Im nice and handsome... And has seen like 70% of my neediness and clinginess (my neediness is massive) and still shes not scared by that... And that if it was for me, all I would do would be to be together all day, with a monotne life... She said it was ok at first...
She says she still wants to be my friend and cuddle and come see me (we are from different countries)
But ofc Im writing here, cause of fucking course there has to be a but...
She said that there are 2 things about me that are deal breakers for a relationship for her and we talked about it and there is no way around it... I cannot help what I feel, all I can do is control my actions, which is what I offered, that I would do that for her... I dont really want to give details... But still, its a deal breaker for her... And one of the problems was, of course, the monotone life...
She still said we can be friends and talk every day for many hours and would still come and cuddle and all that.. But really, even if its a situation "above" friendzone, maybe friends with benefits, its still a friendzone... And this is supposing that I would be in good mood enough to cuddle or do anything, but since I feel so rejected, it would just be bad...
Best case scenario she would come every few months... And cant do more cause she has to study... She used to visit her ex bf every month, but she wasnt studying back then...
I even thought about moving, which would be a long term plan... But of course, if she doesnt want me, there is no point...
Idk... maybe to someone who reads this sounds stupid because technically Im not "alone"... But if Im rejected in that sense, in some sense, then Im really alone... At some point she would leave me, even if its in the future. At some point she would find a proper partner...
I felt so stupid for thinking I could be wanted and loved... If someone as nice and accepting as her cant want me, there isnt really a point anymore... But its not like I have the strength to keep searching and dealing with the massive pain of loneliness every day...
There is nobody for me... Im just alone and unwanted...
I cannot do this... The pain is too great...
She says she still wants to be my friend and cuddle and come see me (we are from different countries)
But ofc Im writing here, cause of fucking course there has to be a but...
She said that there are 2 things about me that are deal breakers for a relationship for her and we talked about it and there is no way around it... I cannot help what I feel, all I can do is control my actions, which is what I offered, that I would do that for her... I dont really want to give details... But still, its a deal breaker for her... And one of the problems was, of course, the monotone life...
She still said we can be friends and talk every day for many hours and would still come and cuddle and all that.. But really, even if its a situation "above" friendzone, maybe friends with benefits, its still a friendzone... And this is supposing that I would be in good mood enough to cuddle or do anything, but since I feel so rejected, it would just be bad...
Best case scenario she would come every few months... And cant do more cause she has to study... She used to visit her ex bf every month, but she wasnt studying back then...
I even thought about moving, which would be a long term plan... But of course, if she doesnt want me, there is no point...
Idk... maybe to someone who reads this sounds stupid because technically Im not "alone"... But if Im rejected in that sense, in some sense, then Im really alone... At some point she would leave me, even if its in the future. At some point she would find a proper partner...
I felt so stupid for thinking I could be wanted and loved... If someone as nice and accepting as her cant want me, there isnt really a point anymore... But its not like I have the strength to keep searching and dealing with the massive pain of loneliness every day...
There is nobody for me... Im just alone and unwanted...
I cannot do this... The pain is too great...