Lonely while aging

[Ivy100]

Certainly, please go ahead. While many have family support networks, many others do not. I suspect I'll be in that latter category not long from now. There should be some way for us to band together and face this...

In the US, there's local Councils on Aging that may have activities for older adults. https://www.ncoa.org/ncoa-map can help you find local COA's.


Road Scholar (formerly known as Elderhostel) is not-for-profit travel and tour organization mostly geared toward older people. It's based in the US but has programs around the world. The travel itself might be fun, but also a great way to meet other older people.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Road_Scholar
https://www.roadscholar.org/

The wikipedia article says they also offer a limited number of scholarships if you can't afford travel.

 

[FFurry]

In the US, there's local Councils on Aging that may have activities for older adults. https://www.ncoa.org/ncoa-map can help you find local COA's.

Road Scholar (formerly known as Elderhostel) is not-for-profit travel and tour organization mostly geared toward older people. It's based in the US but has programs around the world. The travel itself might be fun, but also a great way to meet other older people.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Road_Scholar
https://www.roadscholar.org/

The wikipedia article says they also offer a limited number of scholarships if you can't afford travel.

Thanks, that's useful information... I didn't know about these groups. Seems this should be publicized more widely for people to benefit.

In addition, if only there were some way for people to pool their resources, such as for buying a property to live in that no single member can afford. There's a way to set up small "group homes" based on the relevant government programs and regulations, but these seem to be mostly for those with special needs and the like who have a family support system setting this up. I'm thinking more in terms of independent people just banding together (even if living in the same place could be tricky unless people have known one another for a while).

how are you doing @FFurry i haven't heard from you in a while. i hope you are doing well

mike...

Thanks, finally got COVID, so now I don't feel left out anymore (everyone I know has had it, sometimes twice or more). 😂

 

[Ivy100]

I think the travel doesn't have to be very far, maybe only an hour or two away.

 

[Ivy100]

Just to be clear, loneliness, sorrow about living without affection, does not mean the absence of all social activities. It dies not mean I don't know about senior centers. It is about a special kind of sorrow. I am afraid to say more- sorry I started this.

 

[seabird]

... It is about a special kind of sorrow. I am afraid to say more- sorry I started this.

Whatever the sorrow is, I hope you get breakfs from it often.

 

[may71]

It dies not mean I don't know about senior centers.

Well, the post that you quoted was meant to show some general resources that people might like rather than something directed at any one person in particular.

Resources like that might be really helpful for some people, but not for others.

loneliness, sorrow about living without affection, does not mean the absence of all social activities

I think that's true. Someone can be in the presence of others and not feel connected. Some members here will describe themselves as wearing a mask around others, and seem to be more intensely lonely because of that.

I am afraid to say more

You'd be welcome to say more if you'd like to.

 

[Ivy100]

Whatever the sorrow is, I hope you get breakfs from it often.

Thanks

 

[seabird]

You're welcome

 

[1964dodge]

Thanks, that's useful information... I didn't know about these groups. Seems this should be publicized more widely for people to benefit.

In addition, if only there were some way for people to pool their resources, such as for buying a property to live in that no single member can afford. There's a way to set up small "group homes" based on the relevant government programs and regulations, but these seem to be mostly for those with special needs and the like who have a family support system setting this up. I'm thinking more in terms of independent people just banding together (even if living in the same place could be tricky unless people have known one another for a while).



Thanks, finally got COVID, so now I don't feel left out anymore (everyone I know has had it, sometimes twice or more). 😂

sorry about the covid. my wife and i got sick of hearing about covid. now we are a little careful but for the most part avoid covid news and protocols, we let them stick us twice and that's enough lol

mike...

mikie

 

[Lady Wolfshead]

Just to be clear, loneliness, sorrow about living without affection, does not mean the absence of all social activities. It dies not mean I don't know about senior centers. It is about a special kind of sorrow. I am afraid to say more- sorry I started this.

I'm sorry you are living without affection - I know that casual friends aren't the same as a partner or really close friends or relatives.

 

[FFurry]

sorry about the covid. my wife and i got sick of hearing about covid. now we are a little careful but for the most part avoid covid news and protocols, we let them stick us twice and that's enough lol

I got stabbed with the vax also, as recommended, except for the last booster... which I thought unnecessary, since everything seemed to be getting back to normal. Well, I guess I'm paying the price (even if vaxxing doesn't prevent the disease, just reduces the symptoms). It's been pretty annoying...

 

[Dante]

Hey, late to the thread here but I cant help but mention that you dont have to be alone forever. Im not sure how old you are (a gentleman shouldnt ask) but my dad divorced and thought he would be alone from then on but he found someone in his late 60s. They live together now, have a dog, they are happy. They met on a dating site, so those things aren't all bad.

My point is that growing old alone is probably as bad as you say, I haven't done it and have known my whole life (so far) that I don't want to (though I expected for some time that I would) but there is no point in your life where you are TOO old to change that.

 

[gypsylee]

I turn 50 this year and my daughter is due to have a baby any day now, so I guess this is relevant to me.

I've been single by choice for ten years. I was 40yo and decided my relationships were all toxic and were simply just another of my self-destructive addictions.

Gradually I'm starting to be interested in an intimate relationship again but for a long time I actually couldn't even conceive of it, like it was something *other people* did. That was very weird because I was a serial monogamist from about 17-40.

The most important thing I did in that ten years was learn how to be *friends* with people (especially men). I would still much rather be a "Crazy Cat Lady" than settle for someone out of fear of loneliness.

 

[1964dodge]

I got stabbed with the vax also, as recommended, except for the last booster... which I thought unnecessary, since everything seemed to be getting back to normal. Well, I guess I'm paying the price (even if vaxxing doesn't prevent the disease, just reduces the symptoms). It's been pretty annoying...

 

[Livelife]

Thanks Mike, but you see, senior housing is a better option for couples or groups of friends that go somewhere together . I have friends in pla es that look nice who tell me -and they have partners or did when they came in- that lonely old single woman are "shunned" (their word). You have noone to eat with in the dining room. No one invites you anywhere. Like being unpopular in high school, which I was. Ask yourself how often,if you have guests , a lone female has been invited. This happens to widows as well. Someone I know who was part ofa family type group of couples was droppedfrom events after her husband died. Just like that. I don’t like being scared and alone in my house, but it is private and I can look at the ocean. Thats better than using all my assets to sob in a room where noone will ever knock on the door.

That's sad and pretty much what I feared @Ivy100 but it's good to know. Thank you. I will stay in my house as long as I can. It's so expensive but it is better than being shunned even more in my face in a living situation that has people sharing the same space.

 

[Waves]

That's sad and pretty much what I feared @Ivy100 but it's good to know. Thank you. I will stay in my house as long as I can. It's so expensive but it is better than being shunned even more in my face in a living situation that has people sharing the same space.

People do not understand what it is like unless they have experienced it. Yes they advertise senior living but it does not mean that it is heavenly.

 

[1Lefty]

I don't like thinking about what happens if I can't live in my house anymore. I'm not a social person, and can't imagine life in a senior center, I've visited so many older relatives ......
All I can do today is to delay that time, but I'm ok with that.

 

[Ivy100]

I never res

I don't like thinking about what happens if I can't live in my house anymore. I'm not a social person, and can't imagine life in a senior center, I've visited so many older relatives ......
All I can do today is to delay that time, but I'm ok with that.

 

[Ivy100]

I never res

I am so sorry- but I think you are one of very few people who knew what I was writing about, trying to describe. Advice about resources for "old people" from a Wikipedia page really missed the mark and were painful. Things like meaning, affection, understanding have nothing to do with simply sitting next to someone.

 

[may71]

Advice about resources for "old people" from a Wikipedia page really missed the mark and were painful.

I'm sorry that this advice was painful to you. However, I did not offer this advice to you.

I asked if anyone wanted info about resources for older people, FFury said go ahead, so I offered that for FFury and any other folks who might be interested.