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Me

1964dodge

When a 1965 Dodge just isn't enough
Forum Pro
SF Supporter
#66
i'm so sorry that you're still struggling so much right now @RCee . times are very difficult right now and hopefully will return to some sense of normalcy soon. just remember that you have friends here that care about you and are listening, you are not alone. feel free to inbox me anytime you need a friend to talk to...mike...*hug*console*shake
 

RCee

Well-Known Member
#67
Constantly getting yelled at and on to . I don’t know how I keep fucking up but I’m doing something . Like I’m looking for my brush this morning and I guess I was being too loud or noisy but I did something I got yelled at , I guess I didn’t need to look for it tat that moment. I was craving a burger last night I know I hardly ever do but when I do I always get nations and thier ole burger so we ordered and than I got questioned why I got it and that’s weird and something must be up with me because it was very not normal ( even tho I felt it was) ... didn’t want to be yelled at again so I just switched it to grilled cheese. . I mean I like grilled cheese too and maybe I was being weird. Sometimes I get in moods and need to be told to snap out of it I dunno.
I brought up a question this morning cause we were talking about it yesterday and I got yelled at :/. The question I guess was random??? Was about phone getting fixed because it was supposed to be done today so I asked about it .....but maybe it was a weird time to bring it up ,

See I just don’t think , like I always clumsy and drop stuff or bump into things or like I cut myself accident this morning . Got yelled at like I know I know
I need to be more careful , I always just seem to annoy people.

Maybe that’s why I like it here with you guys y’all can’t be with me in physical. Form y’all don’t can’t get annoyed with me like that cause you cr see me be clumsy and shit

I’m always getting depressed and crying at the wrong times or it’s a bad moment so I need to wait or suck it up . What I been doing a lot
Waking up at 2 or 3 am going to the bathroom and just crying my eyes out for an hour

I hate letting people down I hate being a bother it’s just not working !

Such a waste of life....ahh fuck it. Just ignore all this I talk too much
 

1964dodge

When a 1965 Dodge just isn't enough
Forum Pro
SF Supporter
#68
no @RCee i won't ignore it. i'm glad that you expressed yourself and got things out in the open. sometimes we annoy each other when we live together, that's normal so don't be hard on yourself. there are things my wife does that drives me crazy and vice versa sometimes. it's normal because we live together. try not to do things that annoy others in the house but remember you aren't perfect. you are a wonderful person never forget it. if you ever want to talk feel free to inbox me, you can even rant and scream lol..mike...*hug*shake
 
#71
so we ordered and than I got questioned why I got it and that’s weird and something must be up with me because it was very not normal
Got yelled at like I know I know
I need to be more careful , I always just seem to annoy people.
If you're getting questioned or criticized because your choices on a menu, or yelled at really for anything, I don't think the problem is that you are annoying anyone, but rather that someone is being abusive toward you and exerting more control over you than they have any right to.

I've seen some of your past threads, but I don't know your current living situation. It would be ok to talk about that if you wanted to, or to point to an old thread where you describe the relationship

Hugs
 

RCee

Well-Known Member
#72
Having a hard time keeping my wits about me I feel closing in again :/ these days I know when I’m getting this way but I can’t help but feel helpless as the walls close in around me I’m trying to speak but nothing comes out
 

RCee

Well-Known Member
#75
Some things don’t need specifics,
What in opinion I used to be very steadfast! Assured! I was very very independent
Always everyone e always had something g to say about me
Not needing anyone
Being assured never second guessing
I have seemed to loose that over the years
What happened?
Yes I am laid back these days
Anger subsided more patience
But I have seemed to lost a part of myself who I once valued
Or am I reverting to this on purpose!
The Main problem with me that I do not have a handle on is this
 

RCee

Well-Known Member
#76
I was told to write
So here I am


So here goes


Why m I mad
Maybe some of you felt when I say I’m chill there seems to be underlining anger , maybe that’s just me.

While back I said I quit my kennel job!
Needed a break (well yeah I was working 7 days a week weekends 24/7 double shifts sometimes they week as well


That’s whatever!
Yes I get overworked but when it’s just me!! I love it!
It was perfect there my bosses ..anyways we not getting into that now



I allowed my in again off again partner to make way into my work life!

My boss was deffo willing to work with me but ultimately it boiled down to one night/day incident happened at work (not involving animals) which was not okay all around! I decided to step down and never tell my partner about it

We talked in past how we would never and have never let anyone mess with out work monies like that!


I know I’m doing more harm by not addressing the issue that’s why I’m talking about it in a safe place, I’m starting to see. Hanged I have been trying to make over past 6minths and this past we’ll even days weeks
I am noticing things here and there
I’m thinking analyzing.

It’s ok to comment not needing guidance just I have been told and I see the more I keep in the easier it is for me to fall into giving up on life and follow thru
 

britishbloke

SF Pro
SF Supporter
#77
I was told to write
So here I am


So here goes


Why m I mad
Maybe some of you felt when I say I’m chill there seems to be underlining anger , maybe that’s just me.

While back I said I quit my kennel job!
Needed a break (well yeah I was working 7 days a week weekends 24/7 double shifts sometimes they week as well


That’s whatever!
Yes I get overworked but when it’s just me!! I love it!
It was perfect there my bosses ..anyways we not getting into that now



I allowed my in again off again partner to make way into my work life!

My boss was deffo willing to work with me but ultimately it boiled down to one night/day incident happened at work (not involving animals) which was not okay all around! I decided to step down and never tell my partner about it

We talked in past how we would never and have never let anyone mess with out work monies like that!


I know I’m doing more harm by not addressing the issue that’s why I’m talking about it in a safe place, I’m starting to see. Hanged I have been trying to make over past 6minths and this past we’ll even days weeks
I am noticing things here and there
I’m thinking analyzing.

It’s ok to comment not needing guidance just I have been told and I see the more I keep in the easier it is for me to fall into giving up on life and follow thru
*hug*hug*hug*hug
 

RCee

Well-Known Member
#80
Thanks
It’s hard for me to come back to my posts
Sometimes I feel “did I really write that” and others saw and I’m not being trolled with hate!
I know I don’t always answer right away even tho I might be in chat !
It’s taken decades to get here I don’t even try and speed up the process to digest what come after!

But thank you all for those that listen
I know how it can be
Lol

You see a wall of text and am like OMFingG
And be like you know what this person really needs someone to listen!
Ok!
I got this!
Imma deffo spend some time with this post

and than after you get done reading your like “man, I am so glad I told myself to talke the time and re read each word!

Maybe that’s just me ! I feel we are all meant to be different so we can help each other in the ways we were meant to be helped. “Understood 💯 “
It’s always nice for that Pat on back!

But damn man!
When that one person persons comes along and it’s just that (head nod) (head nod)

I appreciate each and all this is my queue to leave Lena just hopped on the bed
 

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