Musings, ideas, what are you thinking about?

[Fbr27]

People might disagree but...I think the idea that women mature faster than boys was always sort of wrong.

I think maybe people associate woman growing up faster with them taking less "risky activities" than men.

But I've seen woman do really bad decisions and been stuck in those bad decisions just because they fear the risk of undoing those decisions.

Maybe doing risky things is a part of growing up.

 

[Fbr27]

One thing I think about suicide prevention as a patient of those services is that a lot of the suicide prevention messages deep down feels like if someone is trying to help you by not really listening to your problems.

In sociology there is this concept of "biomedical vision of disease" that sees illness as a matter of diagnosis and treatment, ignoring that many diseases have a social component and how many people react different when they are sick.

I wonder if that happens in suicide prevention that people try to manufacture this "feel good" philosophy about everyone deserving to live but at the same time not really letting those people have another chance at having a fulfilling life.

We love to say that everybody needs a chance, but we also judge things like being poor, addicted, lonely, crazy as a moral stain that will be with them forever.

 

[Fbr27]

And I think this goes through every possible social and political strata of society and even religion.

Maybe moral stain is one huge motive for suicide. The idea that you are worthless because of something that happened in your life that you can't move past from.

The closest person from me that actually killed himself did it because he got cheated on by his wife. The guy had money, friends, religion, a family, and ended everything because he got cheated on.

No doubt feelings of guilt and moral failling went through his head when he did the act.

Total change and "penance" is the only thing that people accept when they accept someone that did a reprovable moral act.

If a promiscuous girl regrets her past life and wants to be accepted by some group, it doesn't fit that she just stops being like that. She has to marry and have a traditional marriage in a way that the group accepts it.

An ex-Nazi that regrets its past political stance can be accepted by some groups...but if he stays a moderate or a conservative guy, not so much.

 

[seabird]

Wondering why certain songs so vividly evoke people I've lost.

 

[Inastorm]

Some people in the West still believe Eastern European countries are 2nd or 3rd world.

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Thats such a good idea, thanks for sharing.

 

[Inastorm]

Wondering why certain songs so vividly evoke people I've lost.

Be interesting to know the brains mechanics of this. This happens to me often and was reading so comments on youtube for songs which do the same for other people.

 

[Auri]

You call that a subway station? Where’s the rust, where’s the graffiti? I bet you can’t find even one public masturbator, and there isn’t so much as the faintest smell of urine. Pfft.

Yeah, Polish people are super clean... The reason why it looks very new and polished (pun intended :p) compared to subway stations in western countries (London, Brussels, Paris...) is because they were indeed built later, but the maintenance is also another level. They are less packed with people than other European capitals, but culture, mentality, economy and politics also play a role. It's very hard to explain. ^^

 

[Auri]

Thats such a good idea, thanks for sharing.

I think so too, but sadly I don't see this working in many other capital cities. Can you even imagine a rug in the London underground?!

 

[Auri]

Yeah, Polish people are super clean... The reason why it looks very new and polished (pun intended :p) compared to subway stations in western countries (London, Brussels, Paris...) is because they were indeed built later, but the maintenance is also another level. They are less packed with people than other European capitals, but culture, mentality, economy and politics also play a role. It's very hard to explain. ^^

Actually I put Brussels in there because it is western, but in comparison to London and Paris, the metro stations are also clean and beautiful, especially in the more expensive half of the city. There are only 4 lines to take care of though.

 

[Auri]

This brings me to my musing of the day :

I have Polish origins and Polish parents. I also have extremely high cleanliness standards and get serious anxiety about it, which are shocking to most people... but not really Polish people. I'm a pretty average woman there. ^^ (picture Bree from Desperate Housewives)

I currently live in a horribly messy house by any standards and have learned to cope with it, but it is still a daily struggle. Keeping it clean and tidy enough, by myself, to mentally survive. Not many people relate.

My judgmental Polish parents are visiting next weekend. I am both anxious about all the work to be done by then, and happy because the house will be in a better state.

 

[seabird]

That's cool @Auri, or I think so anyhow. Not anxiety, I mean the cleaning standards. I may have inherited then, from one side of my family. My granpa, it's said, was extremely tidy. He also had a fairly large temper which also passed itself to me. Thankfully I'm slow to get truly angry. Best to you on your parent's visit! 🍁 Happy equinox too.

 

[Gonz]

This brings me to my musing of the day :

I have Polish origins and Polish parents. I also have extremely high cleanliness standards and get serious anxiety about it, which are shocking to most people... but not really Polish people. I'm a pretty average woman there. ^^ (picture Bree from Desperate Housewives)

I currently live in a horribly messy house by any standards and have learned to cope with it, but it is still a daily struggle. Keeping it clean and tidy enough, by myself, to mentally survive. Not many people relate.

My judgmental Polish parents are visiting next weekend. I am both anxious about all the work to be done by then, and happy because the house will be in a better state.

My family took it too far. I remember getting screamed at if there weren’t visible lines from the vacuum cleaner in the carpet, and my sister being genuinely scared that we’d get in trouble if our dad saw the wrinkle in my (made) bed.

Nowadays I’m pretty messy (not dirty, if you get the distinction, because I’m sensitive to bad smells) and cleaning feels less like an unpleasant chore, and more like a punishment.

Okay, kinda dirty when the depression gets bad.

 

[Gonz]

Okay, maybe this’ll sound stupid

My family took it too far. I remember getting screamed at if there weren’t visible lines from the vacuum cleaner in the carpet, and my sister being genuinely scared that we’d get in trouble if our dad saw the wrinkle in my (made) bed.

Nowadays I’m pretty messy (not dirty, if you get the distinction, because I’m sensitive to bad smells) and cleaning feels less like an unpleasant chore, and more like a punishment.

Okay, kinda dirty when the depression gets bad.

technically she‘s my half-sister (which doesn’t matter) and was only around on the weekends (which did).

What I mean is, I’m adopted so how someone is related is academic and it’s how they act that counts.

Lots of people say that, and they mean it, but I guess I mean it in a more literal sense.

As an adult, I can more easily recognize/excuse her issues stemming from a shitty mother. As kids, it led to some arguments.

Not that our dad was “normal.”

 

[Fbr27]

I feel really bad about walking around the house with earphones all the time.

But my parents just listen to generic gospel music and awful right-wing radio shows all the time.

(Not that I have huge problems with right wing radio or even gospel music, I just think that what they consume as gospel and right-wing radio is lame).

They just think that I am weird. But they would be feel even worse if they knew the real reason.

 

[Inastorm]

I still can't get my head around this idea of moving through different relationships, one break up then move onto the next one and so on. Doesn't that make people almost like predators, move from person to person getting what they want and need from people. I'm 50 and I've had the 1 relationship and I wasn't happy about that ending, as I more or less liked the relationship, though I recognised there were issues but wanted to try and make it work.

I saw this advert on telly earlier promoting the railways. The old lady was telling the grand daughter about how she was in love before she met her husband, how it was the best thing ever and so one. I just didn't understand the concepts they were talking about, it actually was making feel uncomfortable.

 

[Gonz]

I told my dog we brought her home because we were going to make puppy tacos, but she was cute so we let her stick around, and to think about that the next time she wanted to walk away while I was petting her. I don’t think she cared.

 

[Aurelia]

Anyone else ever feel like you can't speak to anyone because no one seems to understand the way you think? That's how I'm feeling.

 

[KM76710]

Anyone else ever feel like you can't speak to anyone because no one seems to understand the way you think? That's how I'm feeling.

That is one I have always identified with. I was so often described as off/off kilter and folks not quite knowing what to make of me. There are many of us that fit that never fit in with others, at times, or all the time.

 

[seabird]

I was in a conversation with the taxi driver today, and it surprised me when he said that he doesn't want to ever retire, he wants to just drop dead one day. Basically he said he can't visualise himself retired or in that stage of life, and not in the elderly stage either, and doesn't plan to allow it.

Made me wonder how many people I see at shops or wherever are carrying around feelings of despair.

 

[KM76710]

I was in a conversation with the taxi driver today, and it surprised me when he said that he doesn't want to ever retire, he wants to just drop dead one day. Basically he said he can't visualise himself retired or in that stage of life, and not in the elderly stage either, and doesn't plan to allow it.

Made me wonder how many people I see at shops or wherever are carrying around feelings of despair.

I can imagine the despair, whether it is not being able to image being retired or like growing number that can't imagine ever existing a barest life on what they may get to try to live on. I know I fit that like so many.