Musings, ideas, what are you thinking about?
- Thread starter Gonz
- Start date
Tomorrow is my birthday. I will be 25. I don't want to be 25 but. It will be a hard day.
Since I couldn't afford it I quit therapy. I searched for a psyhiatrist but it was expensive also. So I just bought cipralex without prescription. I know it's ignorant. Never mind..it's ignorant... So I swallowed it. The day before birthday. Maybe it's a birthday present.
Yesterday I gave wrong information to a couple. They asked some thing about law. I'm really incompetent. I hate this job. I hate being useless. I hate being me.
I don't want to be 45 one day and find out I haven't lived but watched YouTube videos instead. To see how people live actually. How they have fun. How they laugh.
I know no-one is gonna read this. I just...wanted to write.
Since I couldn't afford it I quit therapy. I searched for a psyhiatrist but it was expensive also. So I just bought cipralex without prescription. I know it's ignorant. Never mind..it's ignorant... So I swallowed it. The day before birthday. Maybe it's a birthday present.
Yesterday I gave wrong information to a couple. They asked some thing about law. I'm really incompetent. I hate this job. I hate being useless. I hate being me.
I don't want to be 45 one day and find out I haven't lived but watched YouTube videos instead. To see how people live actually. How they have fun. How they laugh.
I know no-one is gonna read this. I just...wanted to write.
I hope you can do something kind for yourself tomorrow.I didn't write it to get happy birthday messages really... I just shared my feelings 😞 and no. It won't be happy. I'm almost 30. Yesterday I was 18. I was . Now. 25. ...I'm old. Life hasn't changed. One day I'll realize I'm 35 and nothing will be different...then one day I'll be dead. That's it kitty...
Nothing changes tomorrow, and no, you are NOT almost 30, please. And even then... Nothing is wrong with being 30. I understand your fears, but we will go through this together. You will see, it's not as terrible as it seems. I was exactly where you are one year ago, and yes, my thoughts were the same. But they're not true.
Please, try to think about anything that is nice, positive, instead of trying to predict the future.
Please, try to think about anything that is nice, positive, instead of trying to predict the future.
I sometimes (often) can't tell if something that's bugging me is an actual thing that I'm reasonable to be bothered by, or if it's just my brain exaggerating and adding too much meaning to things, or if it's both, and it's reasonable to be bothered but my brain is overreacting making it worse. And then I just go back and forth fighting with myself whether I should care or ignore it. And ignore rarely wins. So I end up caring but also feeling like maybe I shouldn't.
