• IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT: Please read THIS THREAD about a rebrand for SF.

Musings, ideas, what are you thinking about?

Baywasp

I know the world turns and it will turn on me
SF Supporter
I have a wonderful Garfield t-shirt. It says "Normal people scare me". There is nothing wrong with being a bit different from the masses. In fact, I think it is rather good.
That reminds me of a notebook I used to have that said "On my planet, this is considered normal behavior" on the front :D
 

Lisa the Ferrociraptor

I'm all things, and so are you
Staff Alumni
SF Supporter
Whether to talk to someone about this desolate feeling or just ride it out, and whether or not I should be afraid of it. Who would I talk to and of what use would it be, and when will I remember to take my damn medication?
Fuck holding things back.
That's my honest stance at this point.
Either you make a genuine connection, or they aren't into it, and your connection could only ever be surface-level anyway.
 
Fuck holding things back.
That's my honest stance at this point.
Either you make a genuine connection, or they aren't into it, and your connection could only ever be surface-level anyway.
Thank you for responding, Lisa. I know at least where I stand with my family. My connections with them leave me wanting in their own right, but the feeling of desolation comes from desiring connections outside of family. Both my former therapist and my current one have told me emphatically that I’m lonely and I need to get out more. My loneliness was never in doubt, but now its eating away at me and driving me to despair.
 

Lisa the Ferrociraptor

I'm all things, and so are you
Staff Alumni
SF Supporter
Thank you for responding, Lisa. I know at least where I stand with my family. My connections with them leave me wanting in their own right, but the feeling of desolation comes from desiring connections outside of family. Both my former therapist and my current one have told me emphatically that I’m lonely and I need to get out more. My loneliness was never in doubt, but now its eating away at me and driving me to despair.
Seriously mate, i cannot emphasise this point enough.
You can surround yourself with people, but if you aren't doing so by opening up and sharing with them, you can feel more lonely than ever.
You can be surrounded by people who technically know you, but it's meaningless if they don't know you.
If you've met someone who it feels worth opening up to, i say do so.
Either she gets it, or she isn't who you were looking for, in which case you need to keep searching.
It's way better than avoiding saying anything real to keep her around on a surface level, take it from someone who spent way too long trying to do the opposite.

Also, fwiw, my inbox is open, hit me up if you ever wanna chat.
I've always thought very highly of you, and felt like we connect in a way.
You definitely do connect with people, even if you may not realise it when you do. ❤️
 

Lisa the Ferrociraptor

I'm all things, and so are you
Staff Alumni
SF Supporter
I'm going to be angry about what happened, including at my part in it, maybe a long time. I don't like this part much. I don't want to speculate what would've come about if I had continued the attempt to live with the abusive relationship
Please, never be mad for being part of an abusive relationship, whatever that entailed.
They make you think what you have to do for them is justified.
If i had to recount the damage i did on the behalf of my abuser, we'd be here for quite a while.
But in particular, i ruined the life of a promising, wonderful person for my abuser.
She'll probably never be the wonderful person she could have been thanks to me.
I could spend the rest of my life punishing myself for that.
I could choose to end myself for my sins.
But i don't, cos i don't deserve that.
Neither do you, whatever you did or have to do.
You are not the monster here, your abuser is.
And you're absolutely right to decide your done with that, whatever it costs.

 
If you've met someone who it feels worth opening up to, i say do so.
I haven’t met that person who I assume is a man. I’m craving an idea—an ideal man who loves me despite my insecurities and makes everything easier. However, I’m getting ahead of myself. For now, I could use regular human interaction or, dare I say, a community.
Also, fwiw, my inbox is open, hit me up if you ever wanna chat.
Careful. I might actually do it. I’ve been on a streak of less thinking and more doing these last couple of years.
I've always thought very highly of you, and felt like we connect in a way.
You definitely do connect with people, even if you may not realise it when you do. ❤️
I don’t know what to say. I’ve always cared for you in my elusive way, and it’s a shame I’m just now getting to know you.
 
If people have an issue with me using AI to try and express all this shit i got to deal with, i'll sod off.
Y'just need to tell me to to do so.
If i had the talent to draw this stuff for myself, i would. I just don't.
Bleh, ignore people who have an issue for using a tool to achieve something. I can't draw either and I have deuteranopia so I struggle with a bunch of colours anyway, if people don't want to interact with me because I use a tool to help me express myself, then no loss there.

It's an incredible tool for people like us who've had to hide our true selves away and now we have something that can help us express who we are before it's our turn for treatment. So screw the haters.
 

Please Donate to Help Keep SF Running

Total amount
$0.00
Goal
$255.00
Top